I will forever associate my virginity with toads. No, this is no allusion to fairy tales, no delusions of princess-like grandeur. To my grave disappointment, at no point during my epic virginity-losing did the pimply faced amphibian straddling me morph into a dashing prince. The reason I associate my deflowering with toads is because instead of a Bon Jovi ballad or a sweet Sarah McLachlan serenade, I lost my virginity to the unlikely ribbits of toads.Namely those in that famous Budweiser commercial â€“ you know, BUD. WEIS. ER.
Romance, bitches, is not dead. Keep reading »