the soapbox - Page 8

The Soapbox: Should White Women Be On The Cover Of ‘Black Magazines’?

The always-inquisitive Jada Pinkett-Smith recently posed a question that has many people scratching their heads and some folks outright upset. In short, she’s wondering if black women ask to be represented in mainstream media, on the covers of magazines like Vanity Fair, shouldn’t white women be represented on the covers of traditionally black magazines like… More »


The Soapbox: I Am Not Your Wife, Sister Or Daughter — I Am A Person

I don’t have to tell you that Steubenville is all over the news.

I don’t have to tell you that the fact that Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond, the two teenagers convicted of raping a sixteen year old girl, were only sentenced to a combined three years in juvenile prison, is a fucking joke. Each… More »


The Soapbox: The Case Against Sex Offender Registries

There’s no defense for rape. And there’s no defense for defending rape — be that minimizing the crime, blaming the victim or focusing so exclusively on the perpetrators that the victim is rendered invisible, as in CNN’s coverage of the Steubenville guilty verdict. As I read over the case, the verdict, the media response and… More »


The Soapbox: In Defense Of Personal Essays

When I started writing personal essays on the internet, I was half embarrassed, half proud. Even though I grew up in a generation that’s supposedly all about oversharing and Facebooking and nonstop blabby social connectedness, I’d still learned that privacy is a virtue, modesty is preferable, and you shouldn’t air your dirty laundry. But I… More »


The Soapbox: On Getting A Black “Bachelorette”

Pediatric dentist Dr. Misee Harris of Kentucky is petitioning to become the first ever Black “Bachelorette.” This prospect means a lot is surfacing for me regarding the harmful stereotypes reinforced by women of color on reality television. How would she be received? If she did get an opportunity to be on the show and chose a… More »


The Soapbox: Lisa Lampanelli’s Racist Schtick Abuses The Art Of Comedy

Insult comedian Lisa Lampanelli has made headlines again – for all the wrong reasons. Last week during the Writers Guild Awards, she shamelessly tweeted a picture of she and HBO “Girls” producer and star, Lena Dunham captioned “Me with my Ni**a @LenaDunham of @HBOGirls – I love this beyotch!!”

The interwebs erupted with… More »


The Soapbox: Women Wear Yoga Pants Because They Are Comfortable, Not Because They Apparently Give You A Boner

Poor Nathan Graziano. He has an obsession and is surrounded by temptation all the time. He can’t stop thinking about women in yoga pants, especially now that us ladies are wearing them in places outside of yoga class. “Yoga pants have brought out my worst chauvinistic characteristics — the characteristics I’d like deny exist inside… More »


The Soapbox: I Love “Scandal”‘s Olivia Pope — Even Though Some People Find It “Problematic”

I’ve been doing my utmost to debate less, but it’s hard when you’re as naturally opinionated as I am.  This is compounded by the fact I come from a highly opinionated gene pool. Our family dinners sometimes spiral into debates. And when I say “sometimes,” I really mean 90 percent of the time.

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The Soapbox: In Defense Of Older Mothers

Magazines seem to love writing about women’s choices, particularly if they can inspire readers to conclude that we’re making the wrong ones. Just before the new year, a much-talked about New Republic cover story focused on women and men becoming parents at an older age. The piece was written by an author who is herself an older… More »


The Soapbox: Taylor Swift Is Allowed To Have A Lot Of Boyfriends, OK?

A few years ago, a favorite subject of conversation in pop culture writing was about Taylor Swift’s perceived “slut shaming” in her songs. Need I remind you of the song “Better Than Revenge,” allegedly directed at the actress Camilla Belle for stealing away Joe Jonas, which includes lyrics like “she’s not what you think, she’s… More »


The Soapbox: I’m A Mom Who Smokes Pot

“So, this is kind of a random question…”

I nodded my head at the man across from me. I was in the kitchen of a fellow parent from my child’s school. I had come to pick my son up from a playdate, and found myself hanging around making small talk while the kids… More »


The Soapbox: Your Arguments Against Our Permanent Birth Control Are B.S.

This essay was published with permission from Gender-Focus.

My spouse and I are seeking permanent birth control, and the entire process has been difficult. At this point, we are sick to death of unsolicited advice on the subject (Pro-tip: If someone you don’t know says they’re not judging you, they are judging you.)… More »


The Soapbox: Why I Was Reluctant To Endorse Lifting The Ban On Women In Combat

Bottom line: I was a female soldier in the combat zone. So why do I feel so uncomfortable about formalizing women’s placement in combat roles? I did a lot of soul-searching about why this bothered me so much. Ultimately, though, I’ve discovered there’s nothing I should be uncomfortable about.

When I first read… More »


The Soapbox: I Am Not A Prostitute Because My Husband Supports Me Financially

This piece was republished with permission from Role/Reboot.

This week I read a wonderful article about our generation’s search for meaning by fellow Role/Reboot contributor Kerry Cohen. It spoke to me so deeply that I went out of my way to read the article that had inspired Cohen: Elizabeth Wurtzel’s recent meandering confessional. It made meMore »


The Soapbox: The Self-Righteous Bullies Of Tumblr And Their Feminist Apologists

I’d been planning to let the issue of the Nice Guys of OK Cupid blog on Tumblr slide. [NOTE: The blog has since been taken down.] It is pretty depressing from every perspective. I’d squabbled and grumbled about it on Twitter with a few people, and then thankfully the Christmas break pushed it out of my mind.
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The Soapbox: On Steubenville High School & Teaching Boys Not To Rape

My son turns six next week, and among all the other wishes I have for him, I have a silent hope that won’t be shared at his birthday party. It’s one that swims in the depths of my mind, surfacing occasionally when awful things happen that force me to think about it: I wish and… More »


The Soapbox: Stop Humiliating People For Their Sex Practices Online

For as long as we’re aware of other people’s dirty bits and sexual desires, we’re aware of how funny it can be to talk about them. My niece, for instance, thinks that “butt” is the funniest word in the English language. But she’s six. The grown-up version of “Ha ha, butt!” are those conversations —… More »


The Soapbox: On Proving Masculinity

Hello from out here in Man Card America, where proving your masculinity to the dude-friends who are vigilantly looking to revoke your “Man Card” if you get caught engaging in unmanly activities like being scared, doing what your girlfriend wants to do sometimes, enjoying a song by a woman, or drinking the wrong kind of… More »


The Soapbox: Thoughts On The Senseless Tragedy In Connecticut From A Girl Who Experienced An Attack On Her School

As our entire nation follows the story of a senseless massacre in Connecticut, people are weighing in with their opinions. We don’t have all of the facts straight yet, but the media and government officials are already pointing fingers at each other, at the NRA, at violent video games, at “not allowing God in our… More »


The Soapbox: You Don’t Have To Be A Parent To Be Worried About Guns

“We’ve endured too many of these tragedies in the past few years.  And each time I learn the news I react not as a President, but as anybody else would — as a parent.  And that was especially true today.  I know there’s not a parent in America who doesn’t feel the same overwhelming grief… More »


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