the soapbox - Page 3

The Soapbox: Railing Against AA Does A Disservice To Those Trying To Get Sober

This post was originally published on After Party Chat and republished with permission.

We’ve all got at least one Facebook friend who just can’t stand Alcoholics Anonymous and needs to let the world know it every chance that they get. I usually politely ignore them. But the latest anti-AA screed to show… More »


The Soapbox: Dissent Belongs In The Classroom

Driving home with my 16-year-old son this week, I asked him if any of his teachers had led a discussion regarding recent events in Ferguson, Missouri. He told me that it hadn’t come up. I pressed a little bit harder—not in AP US History? Not in sophomore English? Nope. I then asked him why he… More »


The Soapbox: Blame Roger Goodell For Ray Rice’s Return To The NFL

Ray Rice is now allowed to play football in the NFL should anyone choose to have him. And if you, like me, are wondering where exactly to direct your outrage, look squarely at Commissioner Roger Goodell and the NFL.
For nearly 10 months, we’ve watched Goodell bungle Rice’s suspension and appeal. In August he… More »


Why Minority Male Oppression Is A Feminist Issue

I am at odds with feminism and my conflict is a “race issue.”

For White women, defining oneself as feminist is pretty simple. The need to advance a female political agenda — while dismissing male oppression — makes sense in a world where White men maintain the highest position and power. I understand… More »


The Soapbox: Let’s Cockblock Julien Blanc & The Other PUA Creeps From Real Social Dynamics

Hey losers, I know you have copied my look with the carefully groomed hipster beard and the t-shirt and manufactured rips in my jeans, but you’re not me. You don’t have the balls to be me. You also don’t have what it takes to get as much pussy as I do, so I am going… More »


The Soapbox: On Kathleen Hale & The Thick, Opaque Line Between Standing Up For Yourself And Harassing Your Detractors

Author Kathleen Hale has been in the middle of a shitstorm this weekend because of an essay she wrote for The Guardian about how she stalked a Goodreads reviewer to try to prove that she — the reviewer — wasn’t who she said she was. Why that matters, no one can really figure out. Hale’s… More »


The Soapbox: “The Whiteness Project” Is A Pageantry Of White Ignorance

In case you are unaware, there is something called “The Whiteness Project.” Per the website, the project, from documentary director Whitney Dow, is “a multiplatform investigation into how Americans who identify as ‘white’ experience their ethnicity.” The first installment, titled “Inside the White Caucasian Box,” was released a few days ago and is an assemblage… More »


The Soapbox: Fear Me If You Do Not Respect My Right To Walk Down The Street In Peace

Before the movement to end street harassment really gained steam, I penned an essay about my childhood experiences as a poor, Black girl. In the piece, I detailed an interaction I had, at 11 years old with a group of men more than two times my age, where they publicly sexually harassed me while on my… More »


The Soapbox: Why Do We Assume “Having It All” Means Being A Wife And Mother?

“Can women have it all,” has been asked hundreds of times over — it seems as though the media never tires of the question. They tell us that, because many women are not in a position to manage a career and a family (or that, at very least, it is extremely difficult to balance the… More »


The Soapbox: “Smug” Is Just A More Polite Way To Say “Bitch”

Gwyneth Paltrow, who loves juice cleanses and is responsible for bringing the term “conscious uncoupling” to the mainstream, is no stranger to insults. The skinny, rich, blonde Hollywood star gets plenty of flak for her lifestyle brand GOOP, where she sells eco-friendly nail polish and monogrammable reclaimed-wood skateboards while sharing stories from her fabulous life… More »


The Soapbox: We Need To Talk About Criminalizing Pregnancy

A new Tennessee law makes it legal to charge a woman with child abuse and assault if she takes illegal narcotic substances while pregnant. The first woman who was arrested under this new law was a 26-year old woman whose baby girl tested positive for methamphetamines after being born. The woman was reportedly arrested on her way out of the hospital. Although… More »


The Soapbox: The Problem With Wendy Davis’ Abortion Story

First, let me say that I’m a fan of Wendy Davis. I look forward to reading her recently debuted memoir, Forgetting to Be Afraid, and I admire her amazing energy, her dedication to public service, and her impeccable choice in footwear while filibustering for 11 hours in the Texas Senate last year. I’m way thrilled… More »


The Soapbox: TIME Shouldn’t Question #WhyIStayed

While the direct blame for abuse rests solely on the abusers, we live in a culture that supports and perpetuates the cycle of violence. It is on all of us to listen, support and validate the voices of those who come forward. Victims shouldn’t feel censored or have their stories dismissed just because there isn’t… More »


The Soapbox: Why I Cannot Be Friends With People Who Don’t Share My Politics

Some years ago, a young man that I was casually dating invited me to a birthday party with some of his friends who all moved to New York City, from Florida, to go to college. It was a scenario I had long grown accustomed to: I was the only Black girl amongst a group of… More »


The Soapbox: Calling Suicide Selfish Is Selfish

Selfish (adj.): Lacking concern for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.
Death is not profitable or pleasurable. It’s just nothing. It’s just not suffering. It has nothing to do with benefiting or not benefiting oneself or others. Saying that someone was selfish for having committed suicide is like saying that… More »


The Soapbox: On Unforgettable Blackness

Last week, I found myself grateful for the conviction of Renisha McBride’s murderer, Theodore Wafer. This conviction did not bring back Renisha McBride. It did not atone for the miscarriage of justice that happened when George Zimmerman was found not guilty of murdering Trayvon Martin. It did not lay to rest my fears for my… More »


The Soapbox: Why We Cannot Have Reproductive Justice Without Fighting Police Brutality

“Some problems we share as women, some we do not. You fear your children will grow up to join the patriarchy and testify against you, we fear our children will be dragged from a car and shot down in the street, and you will turn your backs upon the reasons they are dying.”
—… More »


The Soapbox: I Will March For Eric Garner — But Black Male Sexism Must Also Be Addressed

I recently read a piece written by Kimberly Foster titled “Why I Will Not March For Eric Garner.” The author plainly states her argument: she refuses to rally in support of Eric Garner — who died of cardiac arrest after being put in a chokehold by an NYPD officer — because she does not believe… More »


The Soapbox: On Trigger Warnings & Facing Trauma

When I got to my friend’s place for my self-defense lessons last week, he told me we were going to do basic self-defense techniques and toward the end, simulated assaults. The simulated assaults were walk-bys: We would walk across the room in opposite directions and he would either do nothing, or he’d very suddenly grab… More »


The Soapbox: On Who Is Deserving Of The Benefit Of The Doubt & Why Black Women Choose Abortion

A world without abortion is unsustainable for Black women. The barriers that exist to basic healthcare make it a fundamental necessity to have the constitutional right and unobstructed access to terminate a pregnancy we cannot carry to term. If you hold the belief that a person should not exercise their constitutional right to terminate a… More »


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