Tag Archives: the soapbox

The Soapbox: Misogynists Hate Men, Too

#YesAllWomen
#YesAllWomen: Women Tweets Stories Of Their Personhood Being Violated
Women tweet stories of their personhood being violated. Read More »
Elliot Rodger's Fury
Elliot Rodger
Not all men are dangerous, but yes, all women do live in fear of it. Read More »
Elliot Rodger Reading List
todays lady news
Thoughts on misogyny in the wake of the UCSB massacre. Read More »
Elliot Rodger

The absolute dumbest argument I’ve heard in response to Elliot Rodger’s killing spree last weekend was this: Rodger killed more men than women, so this had nothing to do with misogyny (subtext: So shut your feminist pie-hole).

It takes a lot of logical leaps to make that conclusion when you look at the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, not least of all the fact that Rodger himself explicitly stated that he hated women, that his purpose was to kill as many women as he could, that he felt that women were less than human, that his motivation was that he felt spurned by women.  To wit, from Rodger himself: “I don’t know why you girls aren’t attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it.”

It’s not important what the numbers are, to me.  The ratio of men to women killed or injured is largely circumstantial, and they don’t mean anything anyway, because — despite what a fair number of people apparently believe — misogynists hate men, too. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: Let’s Not Give Feminist Frank Too Much Credit

The Soapbox: Let's Not Give Feminist Frank Too Much Credit

Maybe I’m just a sourpuss, but I’m having a really hard time appreciating the new “Feminist Frank” meme, just like I had a hard time appreciating the “Feminist Ryan Gosling” meme.  I guess it boils down to this for me: It’s a lot easier to say the right things and look like a feminist than it is to actually do the right things and be a feminist. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: Why Macklemore’s Costume Matters

SB-macklemore

Last Friday, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis performed a surprise music concert at the Experience Music Project Museum in Seattle. Awesome, right? Only, because it was a surprise, Macklemore wanted to go a bit incognito and donned a costume. But the costume was anything but awesome. To me, and many others, the costume looked like a negative stereotype of a Jewish man.

For his part, Macklemore denies that he purposefully intended to mock Jewish people with his costume. Late yesterday, he took to Tumblr to issue an apology.

“My intention was to dress up and surprise the people at the show with a random costume and nothing more. Thus, it was surprising and disappointing that the images of a disguise were sensationalized leading to the immediate assertion that my costume was anti-Semetic. I acknowledge how the costume could, within a context of stereotyping, be ascribed to a Jewish caricature. I am here to say that it was absolutely not my intention, and unfortunately at the time I did not foresee the costume to be viewed in such regard. [...] I truly apologize to anybody that I may have offended.”

Keep reading »

The Soapbox: 3 Things Not To Say To A Woman Who’s Going Back To Work After Having A Kid

After almost two years at home with my son, I’m going back to work. As I’ve told people the news — family, friends, other moms, the checkout guy at the liquor store who sold me the celebratory champagne, the customer service rep from Citibank’s fraud department who called to check on my unusual activity – I’ve been taken aback by some of the responses. I assume the inappropriate reactions were simply people being dumbstruck by my good fortune, so I created a guide of what not to say when a woman tells you she’s going back to work.

Here they are, in a very particular order: Keep reading »

The Soapbox: Powerlifting Is For Women, Too

The Soapbox: Powerlifting Is For Women Too

The first time I put a barbell across my back, I was in love.

It wasn’t like I had never lifted weights before; I had, but never like this. Thanks to the myth that I needed to do high reps with light weights to get  “toned” arms and legs (because, of course, as a woman, I wouldn’t want to get too “bulky”), I had dutifully curled my tiny hand weights a million times. I never got strong or toned. All I got was bored. So I always quit. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: My American Dream — A Minimum Wage That Allows Everyone to Prosper

minimum-wage-050214

When I think of the American Dream, I don’t just see images of white picket fences and fathers kissing their children before they leave for work.

I see an African-American mother of two dropping her children off at school and driving to her place of employment with the confidence that she’ll have enough gas to get to work and enough food to cook dinner. I imagine a Latina mother able to save enough money to help her son go to the college of his choice regardless of the rising cost of tuition. I see an America where working 40 hours a week allows women of all backgrounds the opportunity to gain prosperity and success. But how can anyone achieve such a dream on $7.25 an hour? They can’t.

We need to raise the minimum wage to at least $10.10 to help hardworking families who are struggling to scrape by. In tough economic times, there are few policies that could have as immediate, and as dramatic, of a boost for American workers, particularly for women of color. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: Hating On Social Media Is Trendy, But It’s Also Wrong

Alone But Still Connected

It seems like lots of people lately wax poetic about the good old days before we were all staring at computer screens. Take, for example, the popularity of the “Look Up” spoken word video. I hear these complaints from mostly people my age, maybe a bit older, so we’re not that far apart in our experiences. Yet somehow they hold this belief that social media has led all of us down a path to “forever alone” hell that we’ll never recover from. Or something? I’m not entirely sure, as it’s pretty infrequent that these arguments actually point to data, but rather appeal to emotions. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: Why We Shouldn’t Assume Kristen Stewart Is A Lesbian

SB-kristen-stewart

I first fell in love with Kristen Stewart 10 years ago. I was 12.”Catch that Kid,” a classic of our times, has a criminal 12 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Anyone who would review this film poorly is a joyless weirdo.

Stewart played Maddy, an adventurous tomboy whose skillset included climbing very tall things and emotionally manipulating boys. Her dad needed an expensive surgery, so she enlisted her two best guy friends to help her casually rob a bank. They aren’t feeling it at first, but then she gives each of them one half of a heart necklace with a promise that she loves him and doesn’t give a shit about the other guy. Bingo. Kristen Stewart’s Maddy is strategic, powerful, and a ruthless heartbreaker. 12-year-old me thought, What a dreamboat.

As far as mainstream kids’ movies go, “Catch that Kid” is a total queerfest. Maddy herself is an unfeminine little boss who is -20 percent interested in the romantic affection of preteen boys, while her mother is played by Jennifer Beals, aka “The L Word’”‘s power dyke, Bette. So, ever since Kristen Stewart was in this super great, super queer flop of a film, I’ve associated her with my own lesbian awakening – and I therefore feel weirdly protective whenever her real-life potential queerness comes into cultural question, and she’s run through the celebrity gossip meat grinder.

Which is happening now. Again. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: On Donald Sterling, America’s Culture Of Racism & Coming Home

The Soapbox: On Donald Sterling, America's Culture Of Racism & Coming "Home"

The media frenzy surrounding the racism of Los Angeles Clippers’ team owner Donald Sterling reminded me why last year, at the age of 23, I decided to leave the country I had been calling “home” for nearly two decades. As a black woman of Caribbean descent, I felt alienated and lost in a sea of endless racial divide and turmoil. Everyday in America I was drowning. My sanity and sense of stability slowly deteriorated, submerged in disillusionment. I did not want to leave, I had to leave. A fiery rage set ablaze feelings of anger, resentment, disappointment that could not be quelled. How could the country that raised me on the notion that all men are created equal, cast me into a reality of segregation and racism? The questions swarmed incessantly like a mosquito’s annoying buzz. The answers never came. Instead, I left. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: You Can Buy A Prepackaged Wedding On Gilt Groupe Now — But Should You?

gilt wedding

Gilt City Chicago is currently offering an entire wedding at the Renaissance Blackstone Hotel, for the low, low price of $31,000! All you have to do? Add it to your cart. The voucher gets you a wedding for up to 120 guests, and includes all of the standard wedding elements you could think of: cocktail hour, open bar, three-course dinner (standard protein or vegetarian entrée), a cake, menu cards, and more. Admittedly, there are some cool things, like a “Chicago-style lunch” for the groomsmen (hot dogs?) and an after-party included in the package. But still, am I alone in thinking a flash wedding sale is just weird? Keep reading »

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