the soapbox - Page 11

The Soapbox: On Being A Sikh Feminist

In light of this weekend’s tragic shooting at a Sikh temple in Oak Creek, Wisconsin, we thought our readers would be interested to learn more about this religion. We reached out to the Sikh Feminist Research Institute for some thoughts on Sikhism. 

Often I am asked of when I first became aware of… More »


The Soapbox: Why Aren’t Black Girls Allowed To Be Girls?

This piece was originally published on xoJane.com.

When I was a senior in high school [above left], I attended this college prep program held in the sanctuary of a Baptist church across the street from my grandmother’s $1 Soul Food restaurant in south central Los Angeles. High-achieving nerds from all over the city would meet… More »


The Soapbox: Yes, Women Writers Without Kids “Understand Human Emotions”

The death of Irish novelist Maeve Binchy earlier this week has inspired a lot of articles, most of them warm tributes to her kind heart, quick wit, and writing ability.

British novelist Amanda Craig took a different tack.

In a piece published today by The Telegraph, she wonders whether Binchy might have been a… More »


The Soapbox: Rapists Know The Answer Is “No”

Despite endless work by anti-sexual violence activists trying to change the narrative, the myth persists that rapists —at least so-called “date rapists” — are men who got a little out of control with lust one night and accidentally went too far. It doesn’t help that this is the story that we usually hear on those… More »


The Soapbox: The Aurora Shooting & The Myth Of Men’s Obligation To Be Heroes

In the days, weeks and months following a national tragedy, myths settle into our national consciousness. Myths are not falsehoods, per se. Rather, myths are the stories that we repeat to explain a complex and unnerving topic and make sense of the confusion — to label something “good” and “evil,” to finger the “bad guy” More »


The Soapbox: Hey, Patricia Legarreta, Seriously, Don’t Marry Jamie Rohrs

It is usually not my style to meddle in other people’s relationships, but I’ve got to join the chorus of those advising — in internet comment sections, duh — Patricia Lagarreta not to marry Jamie Rohrs. Legarreta, Rohrs, and their two kids were among those at the midnight showing of “The Dark Knight Rises” in… More »


The Soapbox: Some Friendly Advice For That 22-Year-Old Girl Who Wishes She Was Poorer

Some thoughts for Taylor Cotter (the 22-year-old girl who wrote about wishing she could be poorer on the Huffington Post):

Right now things kinda suck. I know. You wrote an oblivious-sounding piece about how you kind of wished you were getting the chance to be poor and scrappy in your 20s, like artistic… More »


The Soapbox: Why Working 24 Hours A Day Should Not Be A Badge Of Honor

I have been working in the tech start-up and digital advertising agency worlds for the past six years. These two worlds overlap in a few places—namely social media and the uncertainty of being able to pay their staff in six months. But there is another area where I have seen a commonality so real it… More »


The Soapbox: Why I Hate Weddings, Like Really Hate Them, A Lot

I recently stumbled on the video of a bride singing Christina Aguilera’s “The Right Man” while she walked down the aisle, and I reacted so strongly that I startled myself. The video opened up a cavern of emotion that, while I knew it was there, went deeper than I realized. And that emotion was repugnance. More »


The Soapbox: Let’s Stop With This “Having It All” Crap

Hey guys? As a woman, and a feminist and a working person, I can honestly say I’ve never asked if I was going to “have it all.” But Anne Marie Slaughter’s Atlantic cover article about women’s continuing fight to win both the brass ring of family and work seems to have opened up this old… More »


In (Reluctant) Defense Of “Why You’re Not Married … Yet”

I’m going to say something as a feminist ladyblogger that I suspect I’m not supposed to say: Why You’re Not Married … Yet: The Straight Talk You Need To Get The Relationship You Deserve, by Tracy McMillan, actually isn’t a terrible book.

Oh, it has some problematic aspects — and I’ll get to… More »


The Soapbox: The Truth About Being A Stay-At-Home Mom

I just had the extreme displeasure of reading Elizabeth Wurtzel’s essay for The Atlantic, about how rich stay-at-home moms are “anti-feminist and helping make the ‘war on women’ possible.”  In the opener, Wurtzel says that she wants to “smack the next woman who says that raising her children full time—and by that means going to… More »


The Soapbox: On Feminism & Judging Other Women

It was easy to roll one’s eyes at Elizabeth Wurtzel’s recent piece on TheAtlantic.com, “1 Percent Wives Are Helping To Kill Feminism And Make The War On Women Possible.” Although I understand the point Wurtzel was trying to make (educated women who don’t advance in the workforce and financially support themselves/their families are bad for… More »


The Soapbox: On Cat Marnell & Rubbernecking Drug Addicts

If you’ve been hanging out in the ladyblogosphere, you’ve heard of Cat Marnell. Or maybe you know her as “Cat Marnell, ugh.” Cat Marnell was — until last week — the health/beauty editor at xoJane. More pertinently, though, she was an open, unabashed, self-described “pillhead” who frequently wrote about her drug use and abuse online. More »


The Soapbox: I Am Not Here For Your Viewing Pleasure

The misting of her eyes almost completely distracted me from the words coming out of her mouth. As we stood side by side, overlooking a magnificent skyline view of twinkling skyscrapers, she told me her summer in Manhattan was not what she had been expecting. I knew something was very wrong when my strong-willed, outgoing… More »


The Soapbox: On School Dress Codes And Slutty Wednesday At Stuyvesant High School

By now you’ve probably heard of the prestigious New York City high school that protested what they perceive as a discriminatory dress code by instituting a “Slutty Wednesday”—a day in which students came to school in outfits that deliberately violated the code. According to news reports, the school’s dress code is pretty basic. It requires… More »


The Soapbox: In Defense Of Brian Presley (Or Why Melissa Stetten Comes Off Like The Jerk For Live-Tweeting Their Conversation)

On a recent red eye from New York to Los Angeles, model Melissa Stetten sat next to actor Brian Presley and live-tweeted their conversation to approximately 30,000 followers. What ensued was little less than the public humiliation of a husband and father for, among other heinous crimes, allegedly flirting with her and having too much… More »


The Soapbox: Since When Is Wanting An Intellectually Equal Partner “Elitist”?

I am fan of GOOD’s dating dealbreaker series (eerily similar to ours, but whatever) because I think it does a good job of looking back on past failed relationships and identifying the reason(s)  things just didn’t work out. Sometimes these dealbreakers can seem insignificant on the surface, but actual indicate a larger problem; other times… More »


The Soapbox: Leave Lolo Jones And Her Virginity Alone!

I have to respectfully disagree with Alexandra Gekas’ recent Soapbox excoriating Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones for considering her virginity “a gift I want to give my husband.” Taking Jones to task for how she’s decided to pursue her sexuality strikes me as yet another way to be holier-than-thou, through a feminist lens, almost the opposite of… More »


The Soapbox: Why Lolo Jones’ Reason For Staying A Virgin Infuriates Me

In a recent interview on HBO’s “Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel,” 29-year-old American hurdler Lolo Jones told Mary Carillo that Olympic qualifying is nowhere near as difficult as her struggle to remain a virgin until marriage. Jones said she publicized her vow of chastity because she wants other girls who have made the same decision… More »


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