I just read a depressing thing. According to a poll by Wet intimacy products, 80 percent of women say they would not have sex with one of the male cast members of “Jersey Shore.” To this I say—only 80 percent? What the eff is wrong with the other 20 percent of women who took this survey? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Best case scenario, you get called a grenade, hyena, or slut by a total jerkface on national TV and then they play catch with your chicken cutlet or call you a cab two minutes after they pull out. Worst case scenario, you get an incurable STD or knocked up with one of these loser’s spawn. Do. Not. Do. It. Keep reading »
Tag Archives: the situation
“Let’s just say, I’m thinking of my pinky.”
— Melody Eckerson, a Florida club promoter, on what she saw when Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino dropped his pants during their hookup. She also said of the sexual encounter, “I wouldn’t even call it a one-night stand, because he only lasted a few minutes.” Yikes! Don’t worry, Sitch, it’s all about how you use it — so work on that stamina, buddy. [Star] Keep reading »
“Jersey Shore” has become a cultural phenomenon, but I don’t think that we really thought through the consequences. Like the fact that Mike The Situation Sorrentino might be raking in about $5 million this year. What does this mean for the world? Obviously, Ed Hardy will be seeing a good hunk of that cash. And just this week, he dropped $100K for a Bentley with custom rims and a new sound system, and he got his brother one, too! Keep reading »
Last night, during a commercial break from “Bachelor Pad,” “Dancing with the Stars” unveiled its new cast members. And as we’d suspected, the new cast includes: Bristol Palin, Audrina Patridge, Brandy, Jennifer Grey, Florence Henderson, The Situation, Michael Bolton, and David Hasselhoff. The surprises? That the amazing Margaret Cho will be rumba-ing alongside them. Other than that, retired NFL quarterback Kurt Warner, retired basketball player Rick Fox, and actor/rapper Kyle Massey are also on the bill. To which we say, Who?
After the jump, what our favorites have to say about being cast. Keep reading »
I repeat, why do women continue to hook up with the dudes of “Jersey Shore“? Worst case scenario: you can get an STD or knocked up by a total tool. Best case scenario: you get called a “grenade” or “hippopotamus” on national TV while the guys have another set of girls at the other side of the house and make you look like a complete fool. Boycott, ladies, boycott! Keep reading »
The new season of “Dancing with the Stars” starts on September 20th. And while ABC has not made an official announcement about which B-, C-, D-listers we will be seeing paso doble and rhumba, plenty of rumors are circulating over the interwebs. The latest: Us Weekly tells us that David Hasselhoff has signed on for the show. Yes, that was the sound of the population of Germany marking their calendars.
Also rumored to be on the show … Keep reading »
This week’s “Jersey Shore” was of course full of fine champagne, couture wear, British accents, political discussions and everything else that is classy. Yeah, not so much. In reality, we were treated to a classic scene in which The Situation and Pauly D pick up a crew of girls and bring them back home for some hot tub nookie. Only midway through, Mike starts to sober up and realizes that—gasp!—they are with grenades. Which you’ll remember is their term for a fat, ugly chick. A skinny ugly chick is, of course, a “landmine.” What lovely terms of endearment. Keep reading »