Ugh, my Fantasy Dream Boyfriend Joseph Gordon-Levitt is looking like a total tool these days. That’s because, I guess, he’s filming a new movie called “Don Jon’s Addiction.” In it, he plays a dude addicted to porn who falls in love with Scarlett Johannson so it makes sense that he’s overly tanned and bulked up, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino-style. As such, we’re probably going to skip it and watch “Brick” again.
I am a little worried about the possibility of an impending apocalypse. Not only is Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi sober, pregnant, and excited to be a mom—but Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has a girlfriend. Yes, a girlfriend. You know, one of those people who you let keep a toothbrush at your place rather than calling a cab to take home approximately five minutes after you’re done smushing? Her name is Caitlin J. Wood. Here’s hoping that she has had a full STD screening, and enjoys cleaning out hot tubs. Keep reading »
It’s that time again: “Jersey Shore” infects your TV again tonight. (Itch, itch, itch.) God, I can’t wait. “Mob Wives” return to television is not making me stupid enough. The boys stopped by Jimmy Kimmel’s couch this week to talk tanning and Jimmy couldn’t resist a question about whether there have ever been any dude-on-dude “hijinks in the shower.” There haven’t yet … at least none that anyone will admit to. I guess Deena’s hookup with one of The Situation’s twins in Italy was the first, and last, slightly gay thing to happen on that show. [Perez Hilton]
“I was never best friends with Mike to begin with. I probably get along with him better now than I ever did. I just kind of handle him, but at the same time he’s a dramatic person and I’m not into that. That’s why I steer clear of him. Off the show we never really talk; we never have. We see each other at events and stuff — there are no hard feelings or anything — but on the show what you’re seeing now is me just avoiding drama. I can’t deal with it. It’s stressful enough being away from home, so I don’t need any more stress. And he brings a lot.”
– “Jersey Shore” castmate Vinny Guadagnino on his tenuous relationship with fellow castmate Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. I think we can all agree that Mike is the worst. [NYMag.com]
If you haven’t seen enough of Snooki losing her s**t as of late— or her cooca for that matter — now you can bring a little piece of the “Jersey Shore” home. Thankfully, we don’t mean by way the way of crabs, but rather MTV.com’s three new “Jersey Shore” talking pens that can be yours today for the (t)winning price of $17.99! The voices of Pauly D, Snooki and The Situation are finally at your beck and call. Feeling down? Grab Snooki’s pen to release her classic “Waaaah!” Having trouble expressing what matters to you in life? The Situation has got your back: “If you don’t go to the gym, you don’t look good. If you don’t tan, you’re pale. And if you don’t do laundry, you ain’t got no clothes!” And you know which pen to grab if the cabs are here. They are available for your immediate satisfaction at MTV.com and … Walgreens. [MTV.com] Keep reading »
“Being kicked out of the club? Meatball problems! Burning your cooca in the Jacuzzi? Meatball problems!” When Toys ‘R Us makes a Snooki doll, this is what I want mine to say. Yes, on last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore,” Snooki and Deena got in an ice-cube throwing fight (!) at a club and got kicked to the curb on their leopard print-covered asses. But that’s nothing compared to the two (!!) fights The Situation tried to start. Well, three fights, if you count the spatula that Deena threw at his head after he yelled something misogynist at her.
After the jump, the good, the bad and the WTF on last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore”:
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