I have to admit that I’m somewhat of a runner myself, so maybe I’m not supposed to find this video funny, but this Onion ad for a fake fitness tracker is such a perfect joke. For those who run from any form of angst, whether it’s a disappointed father, constant shame or a lack of real friends, the +Runlogic is here to help point out your every flaw. [Gizmodo]
Get ready to bookmark! Yesterday, in a presentation to advertisers, The Onion’s “Jim Haggerty” (an Onion News Network host played by Brad Holbrook) announced that the company was launching a new site called Clickhole, which will put “content and sponsored posts side by side, with barely any distinction between them.” Clearly a parody of click-baiting, time-sucking websites like Buzzfeed and Upworthy, Haggerty promised, ”People will climb into this click hole and find content so interesting they won’t be able to keep it to themselves. Every post is engineered to be as shareable as possible, so it spreads like a deadly wildfire on social media.” Some examples of Clickhole’s content include: Keep reading »
Fake news site The Onion posted a weird story today about Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel about JT threatening his wife that no one would ever believe her if she told anyone what he really does to her because he’s so famous and beloved. Keep reading »
It’s over, The Onion: a piece that went up today called “Adolescent Girl Reaching Age Where She Starts Exploring Stepfather’s Body” is a grenade-launch distance past the “too far” line. The humor site failed to make anything funny — like, at all — about a 13-year-old girl named Heather who is being sexually abused by her stepfather, Gary. “It will probably take time for Heather to figure out what does and doesn’t feel good to her stepfather, and she may be surprised to discover acne and hair in unexpected places on Craig’s body,” The Onion joked. “But it’s all part of growing up, and she should know that she is taking a very important step in life. It won’t be long before her childhood is gone forever.” The piece then suggests that if (if?) Heather is “confused or troubled by such experiences,” she should talk to her friends “who are going through the exact same thing.” Keep reading »
Yesterday, we, and many, many others, breathed a sigh of relief when Chris Brown told a radio station that he and Rihanna had once again broken up. (They’re both too young for him to be “wife”-ing her, he said.) Humor site The Onion did their spin on the story today, penning the story “Heartbroken Chris Brown Always Thought Rihanna Was Woman He’d Beat To Death,” in which Brown (obviously, not really Brown) laments he’ll never get to murder her in a domestic violence incident. Here’s a sample:
After revealing yesterday that he had recently split up with longtime girlfriend Rihanna, a heartbroken Chris Brown tearfully told reporters that he always thought the 25-year-old singer was going to be the woman he’d beat to death one day. “Despite all the ups and downs, I was so sure Rihanna was the one I’d take by the throat one day and fatally assault, and even toward the end I continued to hold out hope that we’d be together until the day she died at my hands from blunt-force trauma,” Brown, 24, said in a radio interview this week, telling DJs he still has abusive feelings for his ex-flame and is hopeful that he might punch her again one day.
Simply, I thought the piece was cringe-inducingly hilarious — it’s supposed to make you viscerally uncomfortable about how far domestic violence can go. Not everyone agrees, instead seeing it as mocking violence against women of color. Keep reading »
CNN’s coverage of Sunday’s Steubenville rape trial verdict was so offensive and abhorrant that it would be worthy of being parodied by comedy news website The Onion — except The Onion already did a parody of CNN’s rape coverage … in 2011! Check out this piece from The Onion’s SportsDome, which ran on Comedy Central, called “College Basketball Star Heroically Overcomes Tragic Rape He Committed,” and shudder at how eerily similar it is to CNN’s very real Steubenville coverage yesterday morning. It would be funny if it wasn’t so goddamn depressing. [HyperVocal]