Tag Archives: the onion

Coming Soon: Clickhole, The Onion’s Buzzfeed/Upworthy Parody Website

Coming Soon: Clickhole, The Onion's Buzzfeed/Upworthy Parody Website

Get ready to bookmark! Yesterday, in a presentation to advertisers, The Onion’s “Jim Haggerty” (an Onion News Network host played by Brad Holbrook) announced that the company was launching a new site called Clickhole, which will put “content and sponsored posts side by side, with barely any distinction between them.” Clearly a parody of click-baiting, time-sucking websites like Buzzfeed and Upworthy, Haggerty promised, ”People will climb into this click hole and find content so interesting they won’t be able to keep it to themselves. Every post is engineered to be as shareable as possible, so it spreads like a deadly wildfire on social media.” Some examples of Clickhole’s content include: Keep reading »

The Onion Makes Weird Domestic Violence Joke About Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel

Fake news site The Onion posted a weird story today about Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel about JT threatening his wife that no one would ever believe her if she told anyone what he really does to her because he’s so famous and beloved. Keep reading »

We’re Done, The Onion: Humor Site Posts Story About Incest Between Girl & Her Stepfather

the onion stepfather

It’s over, The Onion: a piece that went up today called “Adolescent Girl Reaching Age Where She Starts Exploring Stepfather’s Body” is a grenade-launch distance past the “too far” line. The humor site failed to make anything funny — like, at all — about a 13-year-old girl named Heather who is being sexually abused by her stepfather, Gary. “It will probably take time for Heather to figure out what does and doesn’t feel good to her stepfather, and she may be surprised to discover acne and hair in unexpected places on Craig’s body,” The Onion joked. “But it’s all part of growing up, and she should know that she is taking a very important step in life. It won’t be long before her childhood is gone forever.” The piece then suggests that if (if?) Heather is “confused or troubled by such experiences,” she should talk to her friends “who are going through the exact same thing.” Keep reading »

Some Feminists Are Upset About The Onion’s Piece On Chris Brown Beating Rihanna To Death

the onion rihanna

Yesterday, we, and many, many others, breathed a sigh of relief when Chris Brown told a radio station that he and Rihanna had once again broken up. (They’re both too young for him to be “wife”-ing her, he said.) Humor site The Onion did their spin on the story today, penning the story “Heartbroken Chris Brown Always Thought Rihanna Was Woman He’d Beat To Death,” in which Brown (obviously, not really Brown) laments he’ll never get to murder her in a domestic violence incident. Here’s a sample:

After revealing yesterday that he had recently split up with longtime girlfriend Rihanna, a heartbroken Chris Brown tearfully told reporters that he always thought the 25-year-old singer was going to be the woman he’d beat to death one day. “Despite all the ups and downs, I was so sure Rihanna was the one I’d take by the throat one day and fatally assault, and even toward the end I continued to hold out hope that we’d be together until the day she died at my hands from blunt-force trauma,” Brown, 24, said in a radio interview this week, telling DJs he still has abusive feelings for his ex-flame and is hopeful that he might punch her again one day.

Simply, I thought the piece was cringe-inducingly hilarious — it’s supposed to make you viscerally uncomfortable about how far domestic violence can go. Not everyone agrees, instead seeing it as mocking violence against women of color. Keep reading »

Color Of Domestic Violence
On Kasandra Perkins and the color of domestic violence. Read More »
I Witnessed DV
domestic violence
Jessica watched a man commit domestic violence on the street. Read More »
Domestic Violence Advice
court room
... from a prosecutor who has seen it all. Read More »

The Onion Parodied CNN’s Steubenville Coverage — Two Years Ago!

Shame On CNN!
Their coverage of the Steubenville verdict was appalling. Read More »
Verdict: Guilty!
trent mays malik richmond
Trent Mays and Ma'lik Richmond have been found guilty of rape. Read More »
Teach Boys Not To Rape
On Steubenville High School and teaching boys not to rape. Read More »
College Basketball Star Heroically Overcomes Committing Rape

CNN’s coverage of Sunday’s Steubenville rape trial verdict was so offensive and abhorrant that it would be worthy of being parodied by comedy news website The Onion — except The Onion already did a parody of CNN’s rape coverage … in 2011! Check out this piece from The Onion’s SportsDome, which ran on Comedy Central, called “College Basketball Star Heroically Overcomes Tragic Rape He Committed,” and shudder at how eerily similar it is to CNN’s very real Steubenville coverage yesterday morning. It would be funny if it wasn’t so goddamn depressing. [HyperVocal]

The Onion Offers Classy, Humble Apology For Crappy Quvenzhane Wallis Tweet

The Onion has posted a sincere, to-the-point apology for their tweet about Quvenzhane Wallis posted during last night’s Oscars. Props to them for owning up to it and not only apologizing but also explaining why it was wrong. Full text below and after the jump:

On behalf of The Onion, I offer my personal apology to Quvenzhané Wallis and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the tweet that was circulated last night during the Oscars. It was crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting. Keep reading »

The Onion Crosses The Line With Joke About 9-Year-Old Oscar Nominee Quvenzhane Wallis — But So Did Host Seth MacFarlane [UPDATED]

UPDATE: The Onion has posted an apology on their Facebook page. Read it here.

Last night’s Oscars draggggggged on and on, but if you managed to stay up for the full exhausting affair, and were fooling around on Twitter at the same time, then you probably saw controversy erupt over a tweet posted to The Onion’s account.

Everyone seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhane Wallis is kind of a cunt right?

Quvenzhane Wallis is nine years old, you guys. Not okay, The Onion. But they weren’t alone. Seth MacFarlane crossed the line big time too. Keep reading »

I Wish “Sex House” Were A Real Show

Call Me Cookie
Cookie Monster sings "Call Me Maybe." Watch »
29/31 Song
There's a big difference between dating at 29 and 31. Watch »
Real True Love
Does it count if it's with a puppet? Watch »
Watch episode 1 of The Onion's "Sex House"

Oh how I wish the Onion’s spoof reality TV series “Sex House” were real. I would totally watch it. It’s like “Real World” meets “Bachelor Pad” meets “Jersey Shore.” Onion people, please air the rest of the season. [Buzzfeed]

How To Get A Guy’s Attention During Sex (NSFW)


The Onion’s sex guru, Rebeccah Rachel, delivers some amazing tips about how to keep a guy’s attention while he’s thrusting his erection at you. The accessory wall is a genius idea, as is throwing a ball at him in mid-pump. I’m surprised that Cosmo didn’t think of these tips first. But the best piece of advice she gives is to be yourself. A man loves blowing his load into a confident woman. I can’t wait to read her book. [The Onion] Keep reading »

Because That’s What Ladies Be Talking About

The Onion magazine satire of “10 Most Powerful Women” articles might be a joke, but frankly this cover speaks for many profiles about Hillary Clinton or Condoleezza Rice. The article in Vogue about Hillary’s makeup regimen comes to mind. Ugh, I’d forgotten about that. [The Onion via Feministing] Keep reading »

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