Yesterday, we, and many, many others, breathed a sigh of relief when Chris Brown told a radio station that he and Rihanna had once again broken up. (They’re both too young for him to be “wife”-ing her, he said.) Humor site The Onion did their spin on the story today, penning the story “Heartbroken Chris Brown Always Thought Rihanna Was Woman He’d Beat To Death,” in which Brown (obviously, not really Brown) laments he’ll never get to murder her in a domestic violence incident. Here’s a sample:
After revealing yesterday that he had recently split up with longtime girlfriend Rihanna, a heartbroken Chris Brown tearfully told reporters that he always thought the 25-year-old singer was going to be the woman he’d beat to death one day. “Despite all the ups and downs, I was so sure Rihanna was the one I’d take by the throat one day and fatally assault, and even toward the end I continued to hold out hope that we’d be together until the day she died at my hands from blunt-force trauma,” Brown, 24, said in a radio interview this week, telling DJs he still has abusive feelings for his ex-flame and is hopeful that he might punch her again one day.
Simply, I thought the piece was cringe-inducingly hilarious — it’s supposed to make you viscerally uncomfortable about how far domestic violence can go. Not everyone agrees, instead seeing it as mocking violence against women of color. Keep reading »
CNN’s coverage of Sunday’s Steubenville rape trial verdict was so offensive and abhorrant that it would be worthy of being parodied by comedy news website The Onion — except The Onion already did a parody of CNN’s rape coverage … in 2011! Check out this piece from The Onion’s SportsDome, which ran on Comedy Central, called “College Basketball Star Heroically Overcomes Tragic Rape He Committed,” and shudder at how eerily similar it is to CNN’s very real Steubenville coverage yesterday morning. It would be funny if it wasn’t so goddamn depressing. [HyperVocal]
The Onion has posted a sincere, to-the-point apology for their tweet about Quvenzhane Wallis posted during last night’s Oscars. Props to them for owning up to it and not only apologizing but also explaining why it was wrong. Full text below and after the jump:
On behalf of The Onion, I offer my personal apology to Quvenzhané Wallis and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the tweet that was circulated last night during the Oscars. It was crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting. Keep reading »
UPDATE: The Onion has posted an apology on their Facebook page. Read it here.
Last night’s Oscars draggggggged on and on, but if you managed to stay up for the full exhausting affair, and were fooling around on Twitter at the same time, then you probably saw controversy erupt over a tweet posted to The Onion’s account.
Everyone seems afraid to say it, but that Quvenzhane Wallis is kind of a cunt right?
Quvenzhane Wallis is nine years old, you guys. Not okay, The Onion. But they weren’t alone. Seth MacFarlane crossed the line big time too. Keep reading »
The Onion magazine satire of “10 Most Powerful Women” articles might be a joke, but frankly this cover speaks for many profiles about Hillary Clinton or Condoleezza Rice. The article in Vogue about Hillary’s makeup regimen comes to mind. Ugh, I’d forgotten about that. [The Onion via Feministing] Keep reading »
I have a sense of humor. I really do. I even defended evil, bad, un-feminist Tina Fey when she hosted “Saturday Night Live” recently. But, sorry Onion News Network, I don’t crack a smile at this fake news clip, “Iron Man 2 Buzz Heats Up Over Rumors Gwyneth Paltrow Gets Punched In Face.” What, exactly, is funny about the idea of Gwyneth Paltrow getting punched in the face? Keep reading »