the onion

News

I have to admit that I’m somewhat of a runner myself, so maybe I’m not supposed to find this video funny, but this Onion ad for a fake fitness tracker is such a perfect joke. For those who run from any form of angst, whether it’s a disappointed father, constant shame or a lack of… READ MORE »


Entertainment

Get ready to bookmark! Yesterday, in a presentation to advertisers, The Onion’s “Jim Haggerty” (an Onion News Network host played by Brad Holbrook) announced that the company was launching a new site called Clickhole, which will put “content and sponsored posts side by side, with barely any distinction between them.” Clearly a parody of click-baiting, time-sucking websites… READ MORE »


Celebs

Fake news site The Onion posted a weird story today about Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel about JT threatening his wife that no one would ever believe her if she told anyone what he really does to her because he’s so famous and beloved. … READ MORE »


News

It’s over, The Onion: a piece that went up today called “Adolescent Girl Reaching Age Where She Starts Exploring Stepfather’s Body” is a grenade-launch distance past the “too far” line. The humor site failed to make anything funny — like, at all — about a 13-year-old girl named Heather who is being sexually abused by… READ MORE »


Celebs

Yesterday, we, and many, many others, breathed a sigh of relief when Chris Brown told a radio station that he and Rihanna had once again broken up. (They’re both too young for him to be “wife”-ing her, he said.) Humor site The Onion did their spin on the story today, penning the story “Heartbroken ChrisREAD MORE »


News

CNN’s coverage of Sunday’s Steubenville rape trial verdict was so offensive and abhorrant that it would be worthy of being parodied by comedy news website The Onion — except The Onion already did a parody of CNN’s rape coverage … in 2011! Check out this piece from The Onion’s SportsDome, which ran on Comedy Central,… READ MORE »


Celebs

The Onion has posted a sincere, to-the-point apology for their tweet about Quvenzhane Wallis posted during last night’s Oscars. Props to them for owning up to it and not only apologizing but also explaining why it was wrong. Full text below and after the jump:
On behalf of The Onion, I offer my personal… READ MORE »


Celebs

UPDATE: The Onion has posted an apology on their Facebook page. Read it here.

Last night’s Oscars draggggggged on and on, but if you managed to stay up for the full exhausting affair, and were fooling around on Twitter at the same time, then you probably saw controversy erupt over a tweet posted to The… READ MORE »


Entertainment

Oh how I wish the Onion’s spoof reality TV series “Sex House” were real. I would totally watch it. It’s like “Real World” meets “Bachelor Pad” meets “Jersey Shore.” Onion people, please air the rest of the season. [Buzzfeed] … READ MORE »


Entertainment

I really wish pop sensation K’ronikka and her Damn Gurrrl tour were real. I would die to see the “latest and most horrid talent bereft pop monstrosity the music industry has ever sadistically forced down the American public’s collective throat” perform “Booty Wave” live. My gratitude to the Onion News Network for that brilliant sentence. READ MORE »


Entertainment

The Onion’s sex guru, Rebeccah Rachel, delivers some amazing tips about how to keep a guy’s attention while he’s thrusting his erection at you. The accessory wall is a genius idea, as is throwing a ball at him in mid-pump. I’m surprised that Cosmo didn’t think of these tips first. But the best piece… READ MORE »


Entertainment

The Onion magazine satire of “10 Most Powerful Women” articles might be a joke, but frankly this cover speaks for many profiles about Hillary Clinton or Condoleezza Rice. The article in Vogue about Hillary’s makeup regimen comes to mind. Ugh, I’d forgotten about that. [The Onion via Feministing] … READ MORE »


Entertainment


No more diets or exercise! The Onion has come up with a way to combat unwanted body fat. You can just adjust your blubber into a more appealing shape. I love the idea of smushing my fat into a back hump and hiding it with a down coat. I think I’ll try that out… READ MORE »


Celebs

I have a sense of humor. I really do. I even defended evil, bad, un-feminist Tina Fey when she hosted “Saturday Night Live” recently. But, sorry Onion News Network, I don’t crack a smile at this fake news clip, “Iron Man 2 Buzz Heats Up Over Rumors Gwyneth Paltrow Gets Punched In Face.” READ MORE »


News

You know what has never made sense to me? That gay people who love each other can’t get married, but two straight people who detest each other can. I mean, if anything should be banned, it’s marriage between two dolts who can’t stand each other, right? This news spoof from The Onion hilariously imagines… READ MORE »


News

This Onion News Network spoof is amazing: a bunch of talking heads discuss a fake Arkansas law requiring a woman to pick a baby name and paint her nursery either pink or blue before having an abortion. Maybe she should have to sit in the nursery for an hour each day and look at… READ MORE »


Entertainment

It truly hurts how painfully awesome The Onion continues to be, and their spoof videos are even better than their articles since they require the reporters to keep a straight face while delivering the news. In this week’s spoof, Vice President Joe Biden got a lot of crap for starring in sexy Hennessy ads. READ MORE »


Style

We were so focused on the crappy Cyrus parents who let their 9-year-old daughter out of the house dressed like a sexy witch in dominatrix boots, we forgot about scads of other crappy American parents who fret about their sons playing dress-up on Halloween. Oh, The Onion, you crack us up! … READ MORE »


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