Tag Archives: the hobbit

Characters From Middle Earth That I Would Let Get It, Ranked

Characters From Middle Earth That I Would Let Get It, Ranked

I was out of town when the final installment in “The Hobbit” film trilogy was released, which is good, because watching it all by myself in 3-D IMAX in an empty theater was probably for the best given just how often I yelled out “Oh my god, I think I just came.” Which maybe seems weird (it’s not), but have you seen a dwarf in battle? If you haven’t, go ahead, I’ll wait the 18 hours it’ll take you to watch all six “Lord of the Rings” and “The Hobbit” films.

Okay, so. Unlike most die-hard Tolkien fans, I’ve never actually read the books. When Scholastic offered our school a field trip to go watch “The Fellowship of the Ring,” I signed up solely so I could skip both geometry and biology class, and get in a nice nap. Stadium seating was new at the time, and quite the luxury in 2001, you know? But then Viggo Mortensen happened, and here I am, extolling to anyone and everyone I’ve met how the movies are amazing, and drunkenly trying to get “Then it was a good dream” tattooed on my body in Elvish during the Super Bowl. Sure I can tell you all the reasons the storytelling is fantastic, the mythology is more entrenched than one might imagine, and the cinematography is far more excellent than any modern-day action film of our time, but let’s call a spade a spade: everyone in Middle Earth was hot as fuck. Keep reading »

Sir Ian McKellen Teaches Cookie Monster How To Resist Cookies; Also, Sir Ian McKellen Is Hot

I feel your pain, Cookie Monster

This week, Sir Ian McKellen visited “Sesame Street” to teach Cookie Monster about the word “resist.” First, McKellen tried to use a shiny gold ring to demonstrate the meaning of “resist,” but in Cookie Monster’s words, “Me not much of a jewelry guy,” and if he was going to understand what “resist” means, McKellen would have to offer something that Cookie Monster really, really, really wants. Keep reading »

Benedict Cumberbatch Is A “Porn Star Dragon”

It's Apt, Because Dragons Breathe Fire And He's Hot

Oh, good, Benedict Cumberbatch feels exactly as porny about this video of Benedict Cumberbatch acting out the role of Smaug (in “The Hobbit”) as I do. I’m sorry, that’s a fuck-me voice. No one gets to deny it. To capture the performance, Peter Jackson’s WETA workshop put Cumberbatch in a motion-capture suit and built a platform covered in foam and sheepskin from which to act. He called it “dragon porn” and told the Los Angeles Timesregarding his accommodations: “I was like, ‘This is cool, I can slink around like a porn star dragon.’”

Again, cool, we’re on the same page. Watch the video for some behind-the-scenes footage of Cumberbatch filming the Smaug scenes while I go sexualize and objectify Porn Star Dragon Benedict Cumberbatch in my head. [LA Times]

 

Cate Blanchett Channels Princess Leia At Premiere Of “The Hobbit”

I’m not crazy, right? This dress she’s wearing is totally reminiscent of Princess Leia’s gown from “Star Wars,” minus the shoulder details and open back. I mean, look at those drapey sleeves and that mock turtleneck. George Lucas would approve and, naturally, for this reason alone, I love it. [Photos: WENN]

Well Played: Kate Hudson
Red hot! Read More »
Cate, Sans Photoshop
Spoiler alert: she's totally stunning. Read More »
Well Played: Anna Kendrick
Who knew she could look so lovely in yellow? Read More »

Guess Who Chopped Off Her Long, Flowing Locks?

When I first saw this picture, I genuinely had no idea who it was. I suspected it might be Kylie Minogue, and then I had the vague notion that maybe it was Alanis Morissette. Admittedly, I saw it when I had just woken up and my eyes were still bleary with sleep, so my celeb recognition skills weren’t exactly at their peak, but even in the light of day, I must say this famous lady’s hair transformation changed her look in a big way. Do you know who she is? Find out, after the jump! Keep reading »

The Daily NOTness: James McAvoy As Bilbo Baggins

We realize that scoring the lead role in The Hobbit is probably a really big deal if you’re an actor, but we are seriously disturbed that beautiful, handsome, brogue-ish James McAvoy is going to have to pull on a pair of heinous Hobbit feet to play Bilbo Baggins. And those funny little ears. Eww. Playing Frodo did nothing to up Elijah Wood’s sex appeal, we remind you. [Perez Hilton] Keep reading »

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