When three students at James Madison University sexually assaulted a classmate on tape, their punishment was expulsion – after they graduated. Yes, really. JMU, along with 55 other schools, are under investigation for their mistreatment of on-campus assault cases. Other recent absurd assault punishments have included 30-day suspensions and book report assignments. Jon Stewart was just as appalled by that as the rest of us, so he got a real about the dismal state of affairs by bringing in “Daily Show” correspondents Jessica Williams and Jordan Klepper to offer some safety tips to students. [TIME]
We know that conservative Republicans go batshit insane over the idea of the Affordable Healthcare Act covering preventative health care like birth control. But thanks to “The Daily Show,” we now know that America has bigger problems, literally: Medicare is spending millions on penis pumps. The program has spent $172 million in the past five years, to be exact. Apparently there are a lot of limp penises in need in the United States. How did contraception manage to be considered a more controversial use of government money than a contraption that makes your dick big and hard? Of course, Samantha Bee addresses this hypocrisy in a way that nobody else could. [NARAL]
This is refreshing: a member of the Farrow family is in the news and it’s not related to the Woody Allen child molestation accusation saga. Ronan Farrow, 26-year-old prodigy and son of Mia and maybe Frank Sinatra, is the host of a new MSNBC talk show, which debuts on Monday. The former Rhodes Scholar, who has logged time at both the United Nations and the Obama administration, will host “Ronan Farrow Daily,” airing at 1 p.m. EST. Last night Ronan hit up “The Daily Show” to discuss his unconventional life story: college at 11, working for the UN at 16, and Yale Law at 18. He’s a little bit more awkward and dorky than I would have thought, but that will add to his charm on his new show, I think? The cable news landscape (not you, Rachel Maddow!) needs all the help it can get, so I for one see smarty-pants Ronan as the freshest breath of air. [The Daily Show]
Last night was John Oliver’s last episode on “The Daily Show” as he gears up to host an HBO comedy series next year. He spent over seven years with the show, and even stepped in as host this summer. Jon Stewart refreshed audiences on some of Oliver’s best moments and made for a teary farewell. I couldn’t watch it without tearing up myself. Best of luck, John! [NYMag.com]
Jon Stewart’s latest crusade: picking apart the right-leaning backlash stemming from Defense Secretary Leon Panetta’s decision to allow women to serve in combat roles. A former U.S. Marine penned a piece in the Wall Street Journal [second item] fretting that in combat soldiers often have to urinate and defecate in front of each other — often in close proximity to a fellow soldier’s face. Stewart points out: In a war zone, are you really worried about “dying from embarrassment?” Keep reading »
Once upon a time, Kristen Schaal from “The Daily Show” was a selfish single woman just like me, only caring about where her next free “whore pills” came from. But just as conservative pundits say, once she became a married woman, Schaal suddenly cared about the future of this country. You know, like a married lady does. Here is Schaal on why that ring around her finger made her throw support behind Mitt Romney. [The Daily Show]
Last night, Jon Stewart went easy on Robert Pattinson, whose appearance on “The Daily Show” was his first since his ‘Twilight” co-star/girlfriend, Kristen Stewart, was busted publicly cheating on him with director Rupert Sanders. Jokingly (but sweetly) offering him a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, Stewart said that for young people, breaking up sometimes feels “like the would is ending … this is the first time I’ve seen the world react that way.” An awkward situation, graciously handled by both fellows. Clip above!