Earlier this morning, I was reading a piece on How About We’s blog The Date Report about men who are “serial daters” thanks to the ease of online dating web sites. Blogger Justin Rocket Silverman wrote about a piece in The Atlantic by Dan Slater called “A Million First Dates” which argues that online dating allows people the ability to act like kids in a candy store. Some men feel they can easily discard women or brush off getting dumped , because there’s always the chance someone “better” is waiting for them online (AKA “Bigger-Better Syndrome”). Keep reading »
Hey guys? As a woman, and a feminist and a working person, I can honestly say I’ve never asked if I was going to “have it all.” But Anne Marie Slaughter’s Atlantic cover article about women’s continuing fight to win both the brass ring of family and work seems to have opened up this old chestnut of a debate, with women around the web asking how and when and if we can “have it all.” My response? Let’s shut this crappy concept down all together. The “can women have it all” question is reductive and frustrating — and it only serves to promote the idea that women are constantly going to be failing if they don’t somehow fulfill the work/family mandate.
After all, the construct of “having it all” perpetuates the myth that there is one ideal way to live, rather than understanding and allowing for multiple ideas of happiness. And in this “having it all” myth, a woman’s main responsibilities can be boiled down to feeding the capitalist mechanism (through working) and submitting to her essentialist role as a child-bearing female (having a family). Keep reading »