I recently got a call from my best friend’s 18-year-old brother: “Uh hey, Leo, uh, so I like have this date with a girl, and it’s kind of my first date. And, my sister says you know the rules.” Oh no.

Did I know the rules? I wasn’t sure, but I did my best to answer his questions like could he kiss her (yes), and did he have to pay (yes).

I have certainly dated a lot over the past two years, and until recently thought I was fairly proficient in the subject. After recently coming out of a romance that left me devastated, I’ve reluctantly started dating again, but found my skills have suffered. Especially when last week, I was astonished to find myself on an excellent first rendez-vous. I wanted to contact him after, but felt “the rules” weighing over me that said I wasn’t allowed to. But this is the modern age! Women should do what they want. What if this one time is an exception? Maybe he’s expecting you to get in touch…

If I had a dime for how many times I’ve heard another woman whine about how she “needs to find a man,” I’d have enough change in my purse to buy a pair of slouchy new Frye boots and a ticket to Barcelona for the holidays. (Seriously, doesn’t that sound like a nice place to spend Christmas day?) But I don’t have a dime for every whine, and since I’m getting kind of tired of listening to it all, I’m going to tell you exactly how to land a man, so we can finally talk about more important things, like whether I should cut my hair like Katie Holmes. Forget that monkey business about not ever calling a guy, and follow the real rules after the jump.

If it wasn’t for that butter-face, we’d want to do Michael Phelps too. [College Candy]

The author of The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right got married! Again! [NY Times]

Lynne Spears shares her vast knowledge of bringing up respectable and responsible young women in Through the Storm. [Candy Kirby]

Lingerie for pregnant women in the United Kingdom is unacceptable. [Tango]

The first recorded use of a diamond engagement ring was in 1477, but engagement rings have a much more extensive history. [Tango]

Which would you rather find in a guy’s bathroom: a gimp mask or a Goatee Saver? [Daily Bedpost]

Stella McCartney went ballistic when her lingerie was used in an ad for a London boutique that deals exclusively in fur. [Jezebel]