Although “The Real Housewives of Orange County” was the first in the franchise, the show has been like an annoying stepsister since “The Real Housewives of New York City” premiered, because the O.C. women only seem to shop, booze, and complain. However, that all seems to change in the upcoming fifth season.

On “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” Gretchen Rossi played the part of resident gold digger. Squired around town by her way-older-than-her auto-exec fiancé Jeff Beitzel, Rossi cooed over the big diamonds that he bought her, but she made it clear to the other cast members that being included in his will didn’t matter to her. After Beitzel lost his battle with cancer, she declared that her late fiancé didn’t leave her “millions and millions of dollars.” As it turns out, though, he did. He left her $2.5 million, which I guess is a couple million and not “millions and millions.” (Or would those two “millions” make $2 million?) Supposedly, Beitzel’s five ex-wives are none too happy about missing out on Rossi’s share. Now, Rossi is dating slimy Slade Smiley. Shudder. [TMZ]

Mark McGrath and his band Sugar Ray are really into cougars. So much so, that they’ve named their latest album Music for Cougars. While I’m slightly offended that they’re targeting such a specific demographic (oh, and I normally want to vom in my mouth upon hearing the term ‘cougar’), McGrath and his buddies are totally into these ladies. About the word, McGrath says, “There’s no negative slant. It’s a word of empowerment. Cougars are great!” He’s particularly fond of Vicki from “The Real Housewives of Orange County.” He even titled the track “She’s Got The (Woo-Hoo)!” after her customary greeting from the show. While the blonde O.C. mom may be flattered, I have to say if there was ever a reason not to purchase an album, I think naming a song after the most unbearable woman on a Bravo series would be a pretty solid rationale. [People]

Real Housewife replacement checklist: Dyed Blonde hair? Check! Fake boobies? Check! Paralyzed facial muscles? Check! Huge bank account? Double check! That’s right, the producers of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” have cast a new blonde bombshell for the show’s fifth season. Since original cast member Lauri Waring Peterson will not be returning, they needed to find a replica quick. Based on her picture, it seems like they’ve been successful. The newbie is Alexis Bellino and she’s a 32-year-old (yeah, right) socialite. Oh, and she’s on Facebook. That’s all the juicy details I’ve got for now, but don’t you just love how easily replaceable these ladies are? When Mischa left “The O.C.” the show completely collapsed. In Bravo’s reality land, such a travesty could never happen. [NY Daily News]

A few weeks ago, we told you “Real Housewives of Orange County” stars Gretchen Rossi and Slade Smiley were secretly hooking up. Well, now there’s photographic evidence. Slade and Gretchen are not only kissing in some of the shots, but he’s also checking out her butt while holding her at arms length. Gretchen, of course, seems to be acting her usual flirtatious self, showing off her tiny booty and veneered smile. And she’s wearing an engagement ring, which is probably the same one Jeff Beitzel gave her during season four because Slade has been having money troubles lately and probably couldn’t afford one. I can say one positive thing about this doomed affair: Her white bikini with black lace details is rather cute. [Dlisted]

The talent of “The Real Housewives of New York” seem like the classiest and most sophisticated of the housewives bunch. I mean, LuAnn deLesseps is writing a book on etiquette and Alex McCord’s sons speak like 15 languages. Plus, the women are actually immersed in New York’s high society. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have their legal woes too. Kelly Killoren Bensimon, the newest addition to “The Real Housewives of New York” cast, gives off an air of refinery, but this former model can get down and dirty when she wants.

Elizabeth Hayt over at The Daily Beast describes Bravo’s “Real Housewives” franchise as a “post-feminist nightmare that preys on women’s shallowest, least-attractive qualities” in her article, “Wives Gone Wild.” But she, like the rest of America, can’t stop watching. Here’s why you should embrace your love of these women, even though they exhibit the worst of stereotypical feminine traits.

Even though cameras have stopped taping, the drama surrounding the people of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” continues.

Slade Smiley, who was shacked up with Jo De La Rosa on previous seasons of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” and tried to help Jo find lasting love on “Date My Ex,” was arrested Friday for “civil contempt,” which usually means non-payment of court fees or child support. He may have been visiting Gretchen Rossi, who joined the cast of “Housewives” for season four, because Slade was picked up on the same block where Gretchen supposedly lives.

Instead of enjoying the season premiere episode of “The Real Housewives of New York City” last night, I just kept thinking about how much I missed the Atlanta housewives. The New York housewives, and Orange County for that matter, have nothing on those ladies. Let’s face it, “Atlanta” brought the drama in its first season…

Saturday

Christmas Day

A New York Post TV critic has a real problem with the women on Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of Orange County.” But we think Linda Stasi, the critic, should cut these women some slack, especially Gretchen Rossi. After all, we really can’t expect much from these saline/silicon-inflated women. I’ll make my case, after the jump.