Midway through last night’s premiere of “The Real Housewives of New York City,” I noticed something funny. My heart was beating faster than normal and my breathing was shallow. I felt like I had just had eight cups of coffee back to back, and that the caffeine was surging its way through my body. In other words, I felt really stressed out. Why? Because the show was basically just a compilation of fights between very aggressive, annoying women over very stupid things. Things started with LuAnn De Lesseps grilling Ramona Singer because her husband had, months before, dared to mutter the word “countless” under his breath in her presence and the whole thing was SO UPSETTING. From there, Ramona totally flipped out, oscillating between chihuahua going for the throat bite and Buddhist monk in touch with the pulse of the universe. A few minutes later, Bethenny Frankel went to meet LuAnn for coffee—where LuAnn picked another stupid fight over a comment Bethenny had made last season about paying for LuAnn’s surfing lessons. And that was really just the tip of the fight iceberg.

Bethenny Frankel had to do the unthinkable—film this season of “The Real Housewives of New York City” sans the sauce because she is pregnant. “Shooting this season without alcohol was a real achievement,” said Bethenny. “It was like being in the desert without water.” I’m a little disappointed that Bethenny will have to put down the Skinny Bitch Margaritas, since her drunken banter with Jill Zarin is my favorite part of the show. But as long as the rest of the ladies are still up to their shenanigans, I’m sure the show will still be excellent. [TresSugar] 

In remembrance of the good times, we’ve rounded up some of the best drunken “Housewife” moments, both on and off the screen, from whichever city said good times went down in.

Happy Hanukkah! In honor of the first day of the festival of lights, “Real Housewives of New York City” star Jill Zarin shares her grandmother’s recipe for potato latkes with Al Roker on “Today.” While they’re deep-fried as usual, Jill swears hers are a little lighter than the average latke (but probably not light enough for “skinny b*tch” Bethenny Frankel). Get Jill’s recipe, complete with measurements and instructions, on the “Today” website. [Today]

We loved “The Real Housewives of New York.” Well, until they got eclipsed by the ladies of New Jersey and Atlanta. (Orange County, who?) So what’s the best way to stir up some new drama in New York City? Fresh meat! As rumors swirl that Bethenny Frankel is leaving to mix her Skinny Girl Margaritas on a solo show, Bravo is bringing in two new housewives to round out the cast. Read all about these two ladies, after the jump. P.S. No stripper/drug/murder scandals uncovered. As of yet.

Lizzie Grubman, the bleach-blonde PR maven who mowed a few people down in the Hamptons a few years ago, is just too busy to have her life taped for Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of New York City.” In an attempt to replace Bethenny Frankel, who will be starring in her own show, and some of the greedy housewives who are giving Bravo grief over their contracts, the producers of the show approached Lizzie. Her reply? “I completely love the show, but I have no interest whatsoever.” Guess what, Lizzie? I had no interest either. MTV’s “Power Girls” was chock-full of lame-oh! C’mon, Bravo––find some new personality that will make Kelly Bensimon look sane. [NY Post]

Uh oh! People are talking smack about my favorite smack-talking New York City housewife, Bethenny Frankel! Yesterday it was announced that Frankel would be ending her ties with the “Housewives” franchise to star in her own reality series called “Skinny & The City.” “Housewives” fans rejoiced because Bethenny––the most tolerable character who we totally adore–– is not a housewife and it’s about time she starred in something more up her alley. While I was getting all giddy with excitement at my desk, Tanya Zuckerbrot, founder of SkinnyAndTheCity.com, was busy on the phone with her lawyers to discuss legal actions against Frankel.

• Kelly Bensimon of “The Real Housewives of New York City” has been ordered to perform two days of community service as a plea deal stemming from misdemeanor assault charges from an incident with her boyfriend. [PopEater]—Don’t expect her to put her name on any invitations.
• Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr looked like they took a bath in some orange goop before attending Shane West’s birthday bash. [Perez Hilton]—Jessica’s orange skin isn’t the only tragedy. Homegirl shouldn’t go partying if she knows her roots will sweat out.
• Chris Brown’s ex-girlfriend says Rihanna bloodied his face the night of the altercation. [Media Takeout]

Bethenny Frankel isn’t married, so her appearances on “The Real Housewives of New York City” usually focus on her friendships or her dating life. Last night, Bethenny gave us one hell of dating gem. She introduced us to the “trick guy,” a not-so-good-looking man who’s insecure because he didn’t get laid in high school, and who, as a grown man, is still sorting out his insecurities. Now that he’s older and has more money, he feels he has to make up for lost time. He’ll cheat on his wife or girlfriend and go out to strip clubs. Basically, he plays head games with the women in his life. Conversely, the attractive guy had enough sex in high school or college to make him more grounded and able to connect to women as he gets older. Of course, Bethenny says this theory doesn’t hold true across the board Some gorgeous men remain d-bags throughout their lives. Do you think there’s any weight to the “trick guy” theory? Have you ever been tricked into liking a trick guy?

The talent of “The Real Housewives of New York” seem like the classiest and most sophisticated of the housewives bunch. I mean, LuAnn deLesseps is writing a book on etiquette and Alex McCord’s sons speak like 15 languages. Plus, the women are actually immersed in New York’s high society. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have their legal woes too. Kelly Killoren Bensimon, the newest addition to “The Real Housewives of New York” cast, gives off an air of refinery, but this former model can get down and dirty when she wants.

Elizabeth Hayt over at The Daily Beast describes Bravo’s “Real Housewives” franchise as a “post-feminist nightmare that preys on women’s shallowest, least-attractive qualities” in her article, “Wives Gone Wild.” But she, like the rest of America, can’t stop watching. Here’s why you should embrace your love of these women, even though they exhibit the worst of stereotypical feminine traits.

Instead of enjoying the season premiere episode of “The Real Housewives of New York City” last night, I just kept thinking about how much I missed the Atlanta housewives. The New York housewives, and Orange County for that matter, have nothing on those ladies. Let’s face it, “Atlanta” brought the drama in its first season…