Last night’s “Real Housewives of New Jersey” was highly entertaining, if oddly off season. (Am I the only one who has a hard getting into the Christmas spirit when it’s 90 degrees out?) I was highly amused when Jacqueline joked as she set her table for a dinner party, “Teresa’s flipped a table and Joe bangs on tables. I don’t know why these tables take so much abuse from them! One day they’re gonna fight back.” Oddly, they didn’t. But during the shindig, our favorite new housewife—Joe Gorga—put on Jacqueline’s glittery bodysuit and did high kicks, on a dare from Albie. It’s the second time he’s rocked drag on the show. “Am I supposed to put that back on when his balls are flopping around in there?” Jacqueline asked, watching him. And his wife Melissa added, “I’m so not having sex tonight.” [NY Daily News] Keep reading »
Yesterday, we introduced you to our new favorite “Real Housewives” cast member, Joe Gorga, aka Teresa Giudice‘s younger brother. So far this season, he has been stealing scenes from both his sister and his wife, new housewife Melissa Gorga. Then came last night’s Halloween episode, in which Joe dressed up as … Snooki. “You’re really a Jersey chick now, honey. You look like your sister,” says Melissa watching him slink into a gold, leopard-print dress and put on a pouffy wig. Then Joe looks Melissa up and down and says, “I look better than you as a woman.” Classic. Keep reading »
I was scared to watch the new season of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” sans Danielle Staub. I just didn’t think it could possibly be any fun without her and her delusional paranoia. Man, was I wrong. The first episode, which included a “West Side Story” style rumble at a Christening, made the episode where Staub’s weave got ripped out look like child’s play. And a new star emerged. Only he’s not a housewife — or even a woman for that matter. Keep reading »
There was a moment on “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” last year where Danielle Staub takes a few friends to a pole dancing class. The auspice of this activity was that she felt so violated about the release of her sex tape that she needed to do something to feel good again. She played shy at first, but as the scene progressed it became increasingly clear that Danielle was not at all feeling self-conscious or out-of-control of her sexuality. In fact, she took the opportunity to show of some of her former professional moves, including going spread eagle while staring down the male friends she brought to watch. “Always engage,” she said, taking over for the teacher, “And then suggest.” Shy? Please.
Well, apparently Danielle’s pole confidence has led to a new career. Danielle has now signed a three-year contract with Scores Gentleman’s Club in New York. Keep reading »
Remember Kim Granatell of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey“? She was that friend who was by Danielle Staub‘s side for the great weave-pulling incident of 2010. Well apparently, she has a new beau and it’s none other than Michael Lohan, dad of Lindsay. According to Kim, they have been dating since January. “I just got back from making out with Michael in Florida,” she told the New York Post. “He’s got a very big heart. He’s a great guy.”
This is many shades of strange. Keep reading »
Mark your calendars for May 16, folks. That’s when “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” returns. Well, at least a few of them anyway—Dina Manzo called it quits midway through last season and our favorite skin suit wearer, Danielle Staub, was ousted after last season, too. But there are some new ladies filling in their slots. First there’s Melissa Gorga, who just happens to be Teresa Giudice‘s sister-in-law. Melissa is a mother of three who wants to be a pop star and has been recording tracks with producer Keith Boles. “It’s feel good music,” he explains. The second new housewife is Kathy Wakile, who happens to be Teresa’s cousin. Kathy is a mom of two and is super into throwing parties. Apparently, we have her daughter’s belly dancing themed Sweet 16 to look forward to.
But just because these new housewives are family doesn’t mean things are going to be all lovey dovey. Keep reading »
So, Heidi Montag, Jake Pavelka, and Danielle Staub walk into a bar. No, sadly, this is not a joke. Apparently, this is a new reality TV show. The three were in Los Angeles filming the series today and were photographed around a lunch table together. We have no idea what exactly the show will be, especially considering that the only thing uniting these three is that fact that they were controversy lightening rods on “The Hills,” “The Bachelor,” and “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” respectively. Maybe they’ll team up to fight crime? Or perhaps this is a new-fangled “Three’s Company”? Or a porno? Your guess is as good as mine. But, gulp, we will be watching. [Hollywood Hiccups, Daily Mail] Keep reading »
Former “Real Housewives of New Jersey” cast member Danielle Staub and her “singing partner,” Lori Michaels, stopped by “The Maury Povich Show” the other day. But they weren’t there for a paternity test, no sir, they were there to perform their single, “Real Close.” By George! They’ve created a new genre of music that I’m dubbing “skin suit pop.” It’s the song you sing to someone before you skin them alive. I’m thinking that she originally penned this tune for Jacqueline Laurita. Does she even need to ask why we’re so scared to be close to her? [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »
I finally got to watch “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” reunion, part one. Holy crap! I still can’t believe there’s more to come. No wonder Teresa is allegedly demanding that producers double her salary. Being on that show is like going into a war zone.
There’s so much to discuss! Like, for starters, why were they talking in secret NJ code the whole time? It was a full hour of trying to decipher the many meanings of the word “bitch,” the tenor of each raised eyebrow and the shade of angry behind each guttural growl. After the jump, we investigate the meaning behind Danielle’s comment about Teresa’s “nephew” and all the Dina drama. Keep reading »