It’s the weekend before Thanksgiving, so as you’re preparing for the feast and practicing your competitive-eating game face, don’t forget that you need breaks for good behavior. Plus, if you eat a giant tub of popcorn, you might manage to stretch your belly as if you were consuming popping peanuts, which will allow you to hold more food than the portions you were planning on holding in your cheeks like a hamster. This week, get some humanity with “The Blind Side,” learn that we’re all aliens to someone in “Planet 51,” get your teen wolf heartthrob quota met with “The Twilight Saga: New Moon,” and learn about Latin love with “Broken Embraces.”

According to our buddies over at Cracked, some chick flicks secretly hate women. Who’d've thunk it? After reading the list, we’d have to agree. Some movies for ladies really do appear to think less of women than you’d think. Take, for example, “Twilight.” Edward is a killer, and Bella ... doesn’t really care? When Edward says he’d like to suck Bella’s blood, Bella replies: “I trust you.” Cracked’s Erica Cantin asserts: “Any girl with the self-esteem of a shoe would call it a day right there.” Find out the other anti-women chick flicks here. [Cracked]

I have never in my life heard as much squealing as I did during last night’s midnight showing of “New Moon.” While I thought that perhaps some Twihards old enough to legally drink would come out for the first showing, as I arrived at the theater with my posse of eight, circa 9 p.m., we instantly felt a little old joining the line of mostly 18-to-20-year-olds. Almost everyone in front of us wore a Twilight-themed shirt—most of them handmade—with slogans like “Bite Me, Edward” and “Taylor, Can I Feel Your Abs?” Others had dribbled fake blood by their lips or painted red dots on their neck, and one especially enterprising young woman came dressed as one of the Volturi, complete with a cape. At 10 p.m., the theater ushers finally let us all into the theater. And approximately every 15 minutes afterwards, someone would shout, “An hour and a half until ‘New Moon,’” or “Just 20 minutes left,” to thunderous applause and whooping. I won’t lie—there was an in-theater wave. And when the house lights finally went down, I think I heard tears coming from the girl sitting beside me. Soon after, the trailer for “Remember Me” came on, and the whole theater lost it. But, surprisingly, it was Taylor Lautner‘s first appearance on screen that got the biggest hoots and hollers of the evening.

But enough of the play-by-play. After the jump, my favorite overheard quotes of the night.

Want to hear an effective marketing strategy? Premiere the trailer for a movie starring Robert Pattinson as a lovesick college student the day “New Moon” comes out. He may not sparkle in this one, but his role in “Remember Me” certainly continues his theme of playing soulful, poetry-reciting, brooding dudes. And aside from the whole quirky-girl-eats-dessert-before-dinner bit, this one looks kind of good. Will you go see “Remember Me”?

It’s not often that, before a movie has even opened, thousands and thousands of people have already bought their tickets. But MovieTickets.com says that “New Moon” has broken all their records—it’s earned the number one spot on the company’s list of the top 10 advance ticket sellers of all time, shooting the record held by “Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith” for five out of the water. Ditto for Fandango. They say that almost half of advance ticket buyers are under the age of 24, and that 87 percent of them are women. [EW]

In honor of the release of “New Moon,” here’s a look at the 10 best vampire movies and TV shows of all time, which you should see immediately. You know, since “New Moon” is sold out, for the next few days anyway.

I’m pretty fascinated by this article in Details about die-hard “Twilight” fans in their 30s and 40s who are visiting Forks, Washington, for a “Twilight” convention. I used to think these so-called “Twimoms” were absolutely nuts, but now I just sort of feel bad for them. The women admit that they are in loveless, boring marriages and that for them, “Twilight”—specifically Edward—is an escape from the drone of daily life. Most of them drool over this made-up character because they think he’s the closest to an expressive, passionate man they can get. But that doesn’t mean these women aren’t uber weird. After the jump, a few of their strangest habits ...

Check out the new poster for Angelina Jolie‘s next high-octane, shoot-‘em-up-now-and-ask-questions-later blockbuster, “Salt,” in which The Thick-Lipped One plays a CIA agent who might really be a Russian spy. There’s also a trailer. You’ll have to wait until next July to find out who this Salt person really is, though.

 

If you thought the idea of an invisibility cloak was a bunch of Harry Potter nonsense, think again. Researchers in London have been given an absurdly large (about $2 million) grant to make this magical invention. OMG! That’s so cool! I bet you’re wondering how in the world that’s possible. Scientists believe they can mold an invisibility cloak from some insane material that would theoretically grab hold of light waves and make them flow smoothly around an object, in the same way that water in a river flows round a stick. Can’t say I understand all the physics involved, but I’ve already started daydreaming about what kind of mischief I will get into when I get my invisibility cloak. Here are 10 situations where it will come in handy. [Daily Mail]

Amy Adams has a movie coming out this January called "Leap Year." The idea behind it is that after her boyfriend doesn't propose to her, she decides to go to Ireland, where he's living, and propose to him on Leap Day (tradition has it that women are allowed to propose on that day). While plenty of women ask men out on dates, not as many of us do the proposing. Do you think this will ever change?

Let’s play a little game. Check out these two posters for “Couples Retreat”—the one on the left was used in the US, and the one on the right in the UK. What’s different about these two images? The flick is about four couples who head for a therapy vacation, but in the British version of the poster, Faizon Love and Kali Hawk—aka, the film’s black couple—have been removed, both from the image and list of actors. People are up in arms over this and have started a letter-writing campaign to Universal Pictures about the omission. “I think this was an ill-conceived move,” said Vivienne Pattison, director of Mediawatch-UK. “We celebrate diversity in Britain and we could have coped with seeing the same poster used in America.” A spokesman for Universal says the studio intends to use the original poster in all other countries, and that they’re sorry for causing offense. The change was made to “simplify the poster to actors who are most recognizable in international markets.” So what do you think—was Universal justified in changing up the poster or was this totally wack? I, personally, feel that they should also feel bad for the bad Photoshop job putting all the actors knee deep in water. Oh, and for making the ridiculous rom-com in the first place. [The Daily Mail]

It’s a pretty epic day for movie releases. Perhaps it’s for our post-Veterans Day, pre-Thanksgiving blowout celebration? So sticker-roll the cat hair off your sweater, buy a tub of popcorn, and get lost in the upcoming apocalypse of “2012,” experience the hardest job in the world with “The Messenger,” remember that anything can and often will happen with “Uncertainty,” burrow with some furries in “Fantastic Mr. Fox,” or get ship-wrecked with “Pirate Radio.”

In a new interview with Playboy magazine, “Avatar” director James Cameron discusses how he set about creating the movie’s 3-D body parts. “Right from the beginning,” Cameron reveals of actress Zoe Saldana’s 10-foot-tall, blue Na’vi warrior woman, Neytiri, “I said, ‘She’s got to have tits.’” While her breasts aren’t technically exposed, as Cameron puts it, “they’re right there.” One effect resulted in illuminated nipples, but the shot was censored subsequently to score a PG-13 rating. And if guys get wood from the sight of the sexily arranged pixels? “If such a thing should ­happen,” Cameron notes, “and I’m not saying it will—that would be fine.” Phew. [Playboy]

Hasn’t it been a while since we saw Lucy Liu do something fabulous? Turns out, it’s because she’s been busy producing and narrating a new documentary called “Red Light.” It’s about human trafficking, which the Department of Justice says is the third most profitable criminal activity in the world. Now that Lucy’s promoting the film, we hope to see a lot more of her. At the Cairo International Film Festival, she expressed her dedication to pursuing the end of human trafficking, though she knows it “is really going to take a really long time.” Look at the trailer above, and tell me it doesn’t tear your heart out. [AP]

Good question! Allow me to explain. This foursome—some chick who was not credited in the photo notes, Anna Paquin, Jeremy Strong, and Katie Holmes—are part of the cast of “The Romantics,” a movie currently shooting in Long Island. This is of interest because I am reading the book, The Romantics by Galt Niederhoffer (which I bought simply because I loved the cover), and it’s totally awesome, so I’m psyched they’re making a movie, even if Mrs. Tom Cruise is in it. (She’ll be balanced out by Adam Brody, who is hot and also in the movie along with Malin Ackerman, Elijah Wood, and Josh Duhamel.) The story “revolves around eight friends from college who reunite for a wedding. Holmes plays Laura, the maid of honor to Paquin’s Lila, the bride. Laura and Lila are best friends who both have a past with the groom (Duhamel).” Lila, FYI, is kind of an entitled bitch, which makes this tale even juicier. Can’t wait for it to hit theaters next year! [Long Island, NY, 11/11/09]

Starring Gabourey Sidibe, Mo’Nique, Paula Patton, Mariah Carey
Directed by Lee Daniels
Based on the book by Sapphire

After all the hype surrounding “Precious”—the critical acclaim, Oprah’s endorsement, and the back-and-forth between some bloggers and reviewers about Gabby Sidibe’s weight—I walked into the theater this weekend with one expectation and that was to cry my eyes out. And indeed, my eye makeup suffered. This movie left me a bit shell-shocked, to be honest, both positively—because of the incredible performances—and negatively, because it paints such a bleak portrait of a way of life that I don’t have any experience with. It was hard to watch and not one of those movies you walk out of the theater declaring as “wonderful.” But, man, was it powerful.

Last night, while catching up on my television watching for the week, I witnessed a very strange commercial. It was for a Lifetime Original Movie called “Personal Effects,” starring Michelle Pfeiffer and Kathy Bates. And Ashton Kutcher? As much as I love those first two stars and wish Hollywood would make more big-deal roles for actresses of their ilk, I could understand how they’d end up in a Lifetime movie—heck, it’s not like the phones are ringing off the hook. But Ashton Kutcher? With the exception of those annoying camera commercials he’s been doing lately, his career is alive and kicking. Not to mention the fact that he’s one-half of one of Hollywood’s most A-list couples. How could he do a made-for-TV movie?

This morning, doing a little research on the movie, I get it. Lifetime was by no means the original plan for this movie. “Personal Effects” was supposed to be a major release, with Oscar-bait written all over it. Here’s what happened.

Thank goodness it’s Friday, because this daylight savings thing has totally killed any motivation to leave the house after 5pm. This will have to change, though, because new movies open this weekend and there are some good ones. If you’re in the mood to be an emotional mess, go see “Precious.” If you have ever wondered if you could take another person’s life in your hands, “The Box” is the movie for you. If you’re not a fan of goats but enjoy handsome men, “Men Staring at Goats” should work. And if you need a hand getting in the holiday spirit, go see “A Christmas Carol.” Your viewing choice is of course up to your discretion, but go see “Precious.” Oprah says so, too.

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of working alongside a lady named Erica Watson at a dreary desk job. She’s one-of-a-kind: nice as can be, whip smart, hilarious, and just an all-around bundle of good vibes. It was a total bummer Erica and I lost touch after we both moved on to other jobs.

Then I randomly saw Erica performing at a stand-up comedy club one night last spring and when we reconnected, I learned her career has blown up. The Fabulous Miss Erica Watson has a small, but significant, role in “Precious,” which you might have heard has OSCAR written all over it.

But not only is Erica a star on the big-screen: she’s also been performing a one-woman stand up comedy show about body image called—get this—“Fat Bitch.” After wrapping up performances in New York City this fall, Erica will be performing in a Chicago run of “Fat Bitch” at the Chicago Center for the Performing Arts from November 19th-28th, 2009. (She’ll be back in NYC in February 2010—check Erica’s web site for more details.) 

After the jump, Erica and I chatted about playing an abusive mom in “Precious,” freaking everyone out by naming her show “Fat Bitch,” and how Erica wishes she could be more like Santa Claus: