I guess it’s time for me to give up the dream that Jillian Harris will realize marrying Ed Swiderski is a BIG mistake and run back into the arms of Reid Rosenthal. In light of a million warning signs, “Bachelorette” Jillian is blindly plodding forward with Ed. Yup. She’s moving into his condo this week. [Insert blood-curdling scream here.] In regards to taking this huge step in their relationship, Jillian says, “I can start [having] a real life again. I’m looking forward to some sort of normalcy –- making dinners, waking up early, cleaning house. It’s perfect.” [People]

Jillian ... eek! There is a difference between “leap of faith” and “blind faith.” As those of us who have lived together know, living with Ed is not likely to be the “perfect” arrangement she’s expecting. Even all those cute pillows from Pottery Barn won’t change the fact that Ed is either gay or a two-timer. Sigh. We have to let her make her mistakes. But because I have a soft spot for her, I thought the least I could do is give some advice on how to survive the first week living together.

Perhaps not quite as exciting as a leaked celeb sex tape but titillating nonetheless, email exchanges between “The Bachelorette”‘s Ed Swiderski and the two women he allegedly had relationships with, through (and after) the taping of the show, have been leaked all over the internet (you can read the full exchange here). In the emails, Swiderski shows his romantic side, saying sweet things to Lindsey Johnson and Bethany Steffen like, “I’m going to molest you when I get home.” Apparently, he promised both girls he’d only be gone for two weeks and when two weeks came and went and he was still taping the show, he emailed Lindsey: “Trying to leave tomorrow ... hopefully I can pull it off.” Of course, as any avid viewer knows, he did indeed “pull off” going home early — citing work obligations as his excuse — only to return to the show a week or so later. The rumor is he slept with Lindsey while he was away from the show.

By all accounts, bachelorette Jillian Harris is standing by her man (Ed proposed on the final episode and she accepted). She repeatedly laughs off all allegations, saying: “None of it’s true, Ed’s told me about both women, I trust him, and that’s all you need to know.” But who’s buying it? Surely there must be some reason that she’s sticking with Ed and not dumping his ass faster than you can say “Loser!” As it turns out, there is a reason she’d want to keep up appearances that they’re still a couple — and it has nothing to do with love.

This week, the tabloids had a very diverse spattering of cover stories that dealt with more than just the usual suspects. No “Twilight” drama, no Jon and Kate—just fascinating leads about Kelly Ripa not getting a boob job and Dr. Phil maybe sexually abusing someone over two decades ago. So you don’t have to face the embarrassment of hugging five tattered ‘bloids to your chest at the checkout counter, we found the stories you need to know. Well, maybe “need” is a strong word.

I knew Ed Swiderski couldn’t be trusted! This week’s Us Weekly drops a bomb—Ed allegedly had not one, but TWO girlfriends while filming “The Bachelorette,” slept with both of them during the filming process, and even expressed that Jillian Harris wasn’t his type. Ed and Jillian appeared on “Good Morning America” this morning to refute the story, but Us Weekly based their allegations on interviews with the two women, plus emails and text messages allegedly between them and Ed. Check out the “GMA” interview here and read the whole Us Weekly story. Do you think Ed is a snake or these two women are just out for publicity? Personally, I think one thing is clear—shoulda picked Reid, Jillian!

Anderson Cooper jumped right into his interview with ex-Bachelorette Jillian Harris on “Regis & Kelly” the other day with the juiciest question: “How many guys did you actually sleep with?” While Jillian, Kelly, and the audience gasp, Jillian’s beau, Ed, just sits there laughing ... cause he probably wants to know, too. Though Anderson wasn’t the one who was giving oily massages and making out in hot tubs on national TV, I think it’s safe to say he wouldn’t be too thrilled if someone asked him about his sex life on air. [via Gawker]

Further proof that the book publishing industry will give everyone a book deal but people who actually deserve it ... Jillian Harris, the most recent “Bachelorette,” will be writing a dating book based on hot dog toppings. You see, Jillian has this little theory that you can tell a lot about a guy based on what he puts on his hot dog. “It’s just sort of a girls guide to how to dissect a guy and how to simply ask what his hot dog topping is and then you decide whether he’s a keeper or not,” Harris told E! Online. “It’ll be short stories about different guys I’ve dated and what you can expect with a sauerkraut guy or a ketchup guy…just something fun.” Yes. Fun. So. Fun. I’m going to go stab my self with a Oscar Meyer now, thanks. [E! Online]

I’m not going to lie. I was pretty excited about last night’s premiere episode of “More to Love.” At 6’1”, I’m a big girl no matter how much I weigh. Here was a show dedicated to the plight of all of us larger-sized folk wandering the earth, looking for someone who will say the magic words: “You are big, and that is awesome.”

The premise of “More to Love” is simple. It’s like “The Bachelor,” only people have taken to calling it “The Fatchelor,” because this time around, the dude looking for love is 26-year-old, 6’3”, 330-pound Luke Conley. And he’s not looking for a skinny bitch. He’s looking for a woman who’s “curvy.”

Hey there, ladies. You want to be the last contestant standing on a reality TV looking-for-love show, right? Sure, we all do! If you want to walk away with Jason Mesnick or Brad Womack, or even Bret Michaels or Ray J, I have a new strategy for you—leave in a dramatic huff. But here’s the clincher: come back a week or two later claiming that you made a terrible mistake. No, seriously, this just worked for both Ed on “The Bachelorette,” who left because he was worried he was going to get fired from his job, and London on “Daisy Of Love,” who skipped out on the show just because he couldn’t take the heat. Here’s why this plan is so diabolical.

ZOMG, the day has finally arrived! Tonight, Jillian Harris finally chooses between Ed, Kiptyn, and ... Reid? This s**t is gonna be good. See you at 8 pm EST!

This week is shaping up for awesomeness all around in TV land. Jillian will finally pick her dude on “The Bachelorette,” though we have a sneaking suspicion that it will be Reid rather than the two she’s kept around for the finale. Diddy returns to make a band—this time, his own. “More to Love” and “Holidate” will both premiere. NeNe’s braless ta-ta’s return to Bravo in “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.” And Shark Week 2009, kicks into gear!

On last night’s epiode of “The Bachelorette,” also known as the otherwise useless and boring “Men Tell All” segment that comes before the finale (airing next week), two of the men were mysteriously absent—Wes Hayden and Reid Rosenthal. Of their absence, host Chris Harrison said that Reid “had a prior engagement” and Wes couldn’t make it either. Um, right. For starters, these dudes sign contracts don’t they? I can’t remember when a “Bachelor” or “Bachelorette” contestant, especially one that made as much of an impact as Wes, got let off the hook from appearing on the “Tell All” episode. Well, lookie here, Wes has an explanation…

Tonight! The! Men! Tell! ALL! Will Cowboy Wes be there? Will he and Pilot Jake brawl? Will the Angry Meathead try and start more crap with Hola Juan? You guys, I am so excited to see those old faces! Tear.

Ding, dong, Wes is gone! The final three—Reid, Ed, and Kiptyn—go home with Jillian to meet her family tonight, I think, so there should be LOTS of aboots and oots to look forward to. Yay! See you at 8!

I was so excited on Monday when Wes Hayden finally got the boot on Monday night’s episode of “The Bachelorette,” after Jillian Harris finally realized he was “there for the wrong reasons” (drink, bitches!). And after Wes got the boot, he seemingly admitted that he did have a girlfriend, as had been suspected and hinted at all season. Well now that he’s off the show, Cowboy Wes is singing a different tune…

In an impossibly long (85 minutes!) podcast interview with Reality Steve—I only made it through, like, 75% of it—Wes covers a lot of ground. Much of what he discusses in the first half of the interview is related to Pilot Jake. To be honest, Wes seems pretty sincere, and given that I found Jake to be suspiciously fake himself, I might even believe him. Crazy, I know. One thing is for sure—I am VERY excited to see these two duke it out on “The Men Tell All.” Feel free to listen to the whole interview here, but after the jump, the 12 most interesting tidbits…

You know how there’s that certain type of guy you want to dramatically douse in a glass of red wine, just to wipe the smug look off his face for a split-second? That’s how I felt last night watching Wes Hayden’s behavior on “The Bachelorette,” when he realized Jillian Harris was on to his cheating, publicity-hungry ways. As if telling the guys, “If [I’m voted off], I’m gonna go home and have lots of sex,” wasn’t gross enough, on his limo ride out of Barcelona, he bragged, “I’m the first guy on the ‘Bachelorette’ to make it to the final four…with a girlfriend.” Ding, ding, ding! Wes, you’ve just one a million dollars! Wait, no, that’s not how this show works. Hello, smart guy. Guess who watches the “The Bachelorette”? Women. And more specifically, women who’re rooting for the single person in the driver’s seat to not only find love, but have it last for more than 10 seconds. In other words, if anything, this was a pretty bad career move for an aspiring country musician. “Bachelorette” fans aren’t going to listen to this reality TV villain’s music. Just like no one’s going to buy Spencer Pratt’s rap album.

Okay, rant over. But last night’s “Bachelorette” got me thinking—are reality dating shows intrinsically broken?

On last night’s episode of “The Bachelorette,” Jillian Harris finally kicked Wes Hayden to the curb, after realizing what the rest of the universe already knew—that he had come on the show, despite having a girlfriend, solely to publicize his music career. For weeks we’ve known the first name of this mysterious girlfriend—“Laurel”—but after a little research and a tip from a reader, we know much more about her.

Time for me to sound like a broken record. Will Jillian finally realize Wes is a total d-bag on tonight’s episode of “The Bachelorette”? Considering I have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting since, like, episode one, I am going to take a wild guess and say “no.” However, the previews imply that she does. But ABC has fooled me before! Also, someone has a surprise proposal? Anyway, see you at 8 pm bitches.

Another Monday, another two hours spent willing Jillian to Cowboy Wes home. Will our prayers finally come true? By the looks of the previews, this week is going to be CLIMACTIC, as it seems that Pilot Jake returns to call out Wes and maybe propose to Jillian. See ya at 8 pm!

Ten minutes until our next epically long episode begins! Will only one worthless bachelor be eliminated or will Jillian realize most of these guys are trolls? Most importantly, will Wes FINALLY go home?

There are 10 dudes left, including three of my original picks—Jake The Pilot, Hottie Kiptyn, and Mark The Pizza Guy. Who will last past this round, in which Jillian takes the fellas to Whistler for a snow day? Find out, starting at 8 pm EST…