Tonight! The! Men! Tell! ALL! Will Cowboy Wes be there? Will he and Pilot Jake brawl? Will the Angry Meathead try and start more crap with Hola Juan? You guys, I am so excited to see those old faces! Tear.

Ding, dong, Wes is gone! The final three—Reid, Ed, and Kiptyn—go home with Jillian to meet her family tonight, I think, so there should be LOTS of aboots and oots to look forward to. Yay! See you at 8!

Time for me to sound like a broken record. Will Jillian finally realize Wes is a total d-bag on tonight’s episode of “The Bachelorette”? Considering I have been waiting, and waiting, and waiting since, like, episode one, I am going to take a wild guess and say “no.” However, the previews imply that she does. But ABC has fooled me before! Also, someone has a surprise proposal? Anyway, see you at 8 pm bitches.

Another Monday, another two hours spent willing Jillian to Cowboy Wes home. Will our prayers finally come true? By the looks of the previews, this week is going to be CLIMACTIC, as it seems that Pilot Jake returns to call out Wes and maybe propose to Jillian. See ya at 8 pm!

Ten minutes until our next epically long episode begins! Will only one worthless bachelor be eliminated or will Jillian realize most of these guys are trolls? Most importantly, will Wes FINALLY go home?

There are 10 dudes left, including three of my original picks—Jake The Pilot, Hottie Kiptyn, and Mark The Pizza Guy. Who will last past this round, in which Jillian takes the fellas to Whistler for a snow day? Find out, starting at 8 pm EST…

Another episode, another two hours of Angry Dave’s crazy eyes, Wes’ twang, and Jillian’s fabulous style, but vaguely questionable taste in men. See ya back here at 8pm, y’all!

So sorry about last week ladies! I had every intention of liveblogging last week’s episode, but alas, my internet was out. And it STILL IS. But, because I am so dedicated to the two hours we share together every week, I am headed over to my friend’s apartment, where her wi-fi is fully operational. See ya at 8 pm EST!

Are. You. Ready? Come back to this post at 8pm 9pm EST and share in my excitement. Obvi, there will be wine.