Tag Archives: the bachelor

Star Couplings: Angelina’s Uterus Ruins Our Future Love Life

  • According to Star, Angelina is having twin girls, There goes our hopes for our future second husband. [Dlisted]
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    Romance On TV: The Bachelor’s Women Tell All

    Let me assure you, 99.9% of the reason I watch The Bachelor is for the pre-season finale episode, “The Women Tell All”. Undoubtedly, the batsh*t crazy ones have already been sent packing and make the return on this most glorious of episodes, and this season was no exception. Stacy was back! But she wasn’t as proud of her moments of glory as we thought she should be — you mean, she was actually sorry for saying she would kill all the other bachelorettes AND their families to get to Matt? You mean she understands giving The Bach her panties wasn’t a good idea? Boring! My favorite part of the show was the montage of Marshanna. I forgot she showed up the first day in a sari. Bitch was awesome. Keep reading »

    Romance On TV: Shayne Teaches The Bachelor How To Movie Kiss

    Last night The Bach took the remaining three women to Barbados for individual dates and time in the “Fantasy Suite”. Chances are, they all probably has sex with him, but in the end, Blahmanda wasn’t good enough and was sent packing. KNEW IT! Shayne and Chelsea remain. I suspect that the Bach really loves Chelsea because he keeps putting up with her reserved crap, but I’m still hoping Shayne pulls out the win. In the clip above, “actress” Shayne shows Matt how kissing is done in the movies. [ABC: The Bachelor] Keep reading »

    Romance On TV: The Bach Meets Shayne’s Heavily Made-Up Mom

    Bachelor Matt met the fams last night, and while most of the parents were totally boring, Shayne’s parents were priceless. Of course, her father is Lorenzo Lamas (I wonder how Shayne would rate on Lamas’ show Are You Hot?), but his meet and greet with The Bach wasn’t as awesome as I expected. But luckily, Shayne’s mom, Michelle, was as wonderful as I could have dreamed. Shauna Sand (another Lamas ex), behold YOUR FUTURE.

    At the end of the episode, Noelle got the boot and only Shayne, Chelsea, and Blah-manda (my nickname for Amanda) remain. I’m sorry, I am rooting for Shayne. I can’t help it! She seems shockingly bright and sincere. [ABC: The Bachelor] Keep reading »

    Romance On TV: Nice Knowing You Marshanna!

    Last night, The Bach said sayonara to Marshanna, opting out of meeting the bachelorette’s Brooklyn-based family in favor of Noelle (the red-head), Shayne (Lorenzo Lamas’ bleached blond daughter), Chelsea (“the best friend”-type), and some brown haired girl we swear we’ve never noticed before. Robin, the girl everyone hated, also got dissed last night, but we were glad to see her go. Right now, our gut says this is a dead heat between Noelle and Chelsea — Amanda isn’t memorable and Shayne is the kind of girl The Bach wants to have wild sex with, not bring home to his mummy. Still, I commend the person on YouTube who put together this montage of Matt and Shayne’s best moments (appropriately, the dialogue is masked by the song “Always”). Almost brought a lil’ tear to my eye. [ABC: The Bachelor] Keep reading »

    Romance On TV: Kelly Exposes Herself, Then Says Goodbye To The Bach

    Well, Kelly, it’s been fun. We’re going to miss the hard-partying and lack of interest in The Bachelor. Kelly seems to have forgotten what the premise of the show is — fight for The Bach, bitches, even though you won’t end up with jack in the end — because she said in one of her little tete-a-tetes with the camera that she wasn’t going to be one of those women who just sits there and says “Pick me Matt!” And he didn’t! But that was after she busted open her top for him and showed off her rather ample decolletage, swaddled in a bejeweled bra. Damn, I loved Kelly. I always loved the bachelorettes that just don’t give a crap and only came for the free champagne. When is one of them going to win?

    Only seven women remain! Marshana (!!!), Amanda R., Robin, Shayne, Noelle, Denise, and Chelsea. Who will get drunk, show off their ta-tas, and be eliminated next week? [ABC: The Bachelor] Keep reading »

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