Tag Archives: the bachelor

“The Bachelorette” Superlatives: Two Reasons I Had To Turn Off Last Night’s Episode

"The Bachelorette" Superlatives: Two Reasons I Had To Turn Off Last Night's Episode

Every season, I dutifully sit through each needlessly long episode (two hours! why?!) of “The Bachelor” or “Bachelorette,” delighting in the ridiculousness of the various dates and awkwardness of the forced romantic interactions. But I hit a wall pretty early into last night’s episode and had to turn it off. Why? Well, I’ll let these two “Bachelorette” superlatives explain why… Keep reading »

“The Bachelorette” Superlatives: The Best & Worst Moments From Last Night’s Premiere

"The Bachelorette" Superlatives: The Best & Worst Moments From Last Night's Premiere

Woohoo! “The Bachelorette” is back! Andi Dorfman, last season’s tough talking DA who told Juan Pablo where to stick it, is basically this show’s ideal star. She’s pretty, she’s feisty and, most of all, she is desperate to find love and be engaged at the end. Unfortunately for her, the casting directors phoned it the fuck in this season, as over half of the dude contestants gave me MAJOR gay vibes and many of them are just straight up unattractive. Like, I’m pretty horny these days, and I would still need beer goggles to bring 95 percent of these dudebros home. If I was her, I would ask for a do over. Alas, the cards have been dealt and Chris Harrison has uttered those infamous words, “Let the journey begin!” Here’s this week’s recap — presented in superlatives! Keep reading »

Renee Oteri From “The Bachelor” Just Got Married!

Juan Pablo Is The Worst
4 Reasons Juan Pablo Galavis Is The Most Sexist, Slut-Shaming, Hypocritical "Bachelor" Ever
Four reasons Juan Pablo is a slut-shaming, sexist douchebag. Read More »
Why Clare Wasn't Picked
clare crawley
... to be the next "Bachelorette." (Supposedly.) Read More »
Nikki's YouTube Videos
"Bachelor" Juan Pablo Made A YouTube Video Publicly Declaring He "Adores" Nikki
Juan Pablo made a YouTube video publicly declaring he "adores" Nikki. Read More »
  • I’m genuinely happy to see Renee from this season of “The Bachelor” find a happy ending: she recently got married to Bracy Maynard, whom she described as her “best friend of 22 years.” Renee, her new man, and her eight-year-old son Ben will all live together in Seattle. Here she is looking in love and gorgeous with her new man — mazel tov, Renee! [US Weekly]
  • Here’s all the trailers for the final season of “Mad Men” which, unsurprisingly, tell us nothing about what’s going to happen. [Gothamist]
  • Rosario Dawson speaks Klingon. [TMZ]
  • Twitter has now been banned in Turkey by the increasingly repressive conservative government. [Washington Post]


Keep reading »

Source: Clare Crawley Wasn’t Picked To Be “The Bachelorette” Because She Had Sex With Juan Pablo

  • Fucking Juan Pablo in the ocean really screwed Clare: a source tells the blog Hollywood Life that she was in consideration to be “The Bachelorette,” but they were afraid they would lose viewers over her sexual behavior. As you certainly remember, Clare snuck over to Juan Pablo’s cabana one night and they had sex in the waves. (He later told Clare, “I loved fucking you.”) In the end, the source said, the producers decided Andi Dorfman was a “safer choice.” Amelia calls bullshit on this story because A) Clare is boring and no one really wants to watch her, period, and B) they rarely pick the runner-up because filming for the new season happens too soon after the other ends. [Hollywood Life]
  • Wesley Warren Jr., the man who recently had his 132 lb. scrotum removed, has died from unrelated health issues. [TMZ]
  • Add former “Laguna Beach” star Kristen Cavallari to the list of dumb-dumb celebs who refuse to vaccinate their kids because of autism fears. [Gawker]
  • A picture of Harry Styles wearing a Native American headdress has actually gotten One Directioners — who are not the most, shall we say, well-reasoned bunch — talking about cultural appropriation. Whoa. [Daily Mail UK] Keep reading »

Sex Scandal: How Many Girls Did “The Bachelor” Juan Pablo Sleep With?

4 Reasons Juan Pablo Galavis Is The Most Sexist, Slut-Shaming, Hypocritical "Bachelor" Ever

“Bachelor” castoff Cassandra Ferguson revealed to a Detroit radio station (via Radar Online) that Galavis was much more focused on finding a sex partner than a life partner, paying little to no attention to his conversations with any of the ladies vying for his affections. Read more on Your Tango…

It Takes A Douche To Know A Douche: John Mayer Explains Juan Pablo

  • John Mayer revealed on Instagram that he owns a book which explains people’s facial expressions to ascertain their feelings. And John has helpfully referred to this “super dense esoterica” to share his thoughts about Juan Pablo with us: “The Bachelor”‘s YouTube-video-loving jerk demonstrates “contempt with some disgust, with a sadness brow.” Interesting.  [US Weekly]
  • The list of celebrities that Seth Rogen has gotten high with might surprise you. [Gawker]
  • Dating tips from “Princeton Mom”: Netflix and Seamless are making you single and fat. [And happy, thanks. -- Amelia] [New York Post]
  • Somehow, “butt selfie queen” Jen Selter has made it into Vanity Fair. [Vanity Fair] Keep reading »

“Bachelor” Juan Pablo Galavis Made A YouTube Video Publicly Declaring He “Adores” Nikki Ferrell

"Bachelor" Juan Pablo Made A YouTube Video Publicly Declaring He "Adores" Nikki
So Many RANDOM Words CAPITALIZED!

Fresh of the disastrous season finale of “The Bachelor” and his appearance on “After the Final Rose,” douchenozzle Juan Pablo Galavis is kinda backtracking on his promise that he and final rose recipient Nikki Ferrell would be conducting their relationship privately. See, he posted this YouTube video about he and Nikki’s relationship yesterday, featuring photos of the two together as a song called “Adventures In Loving You” (which I guess Juan Pablo helped write) plays over top. The video starts and ends with some text written by Juan Pablo in his trademark style (USING randomly capitalized WORDS for NO DISCERNIBLE reason), declaring finally, “Te adoro.” “Te adoro,” incase you didn’t know, is Spanish for “Everyone wants me to say that I love you, but I don’t because I’m a jackass with the emotional depth of Carrot Top’s left nutsack, so I’m saying I adore you instead, which is not the same thing, hope no one notices.” (I’m guessing the word “loving” in name of the song is just love-love not in-love love.)

Best of all, this is not the first cheesy YouTube video Juan Pablo has made about a significant other! Buzzfeed noticed that Juan Pablo made a similar video for his ex-wife/baby mama back in 2009. Check it out after the jump! [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »

“Bachelor” Jerk Juan Pablo Whines About Not Having Any Privacy

  • Giant man baby Juan Pablo is angry with “The Bachelor” producers, posting a picture of himself and this season’s winner Nikki on Instagram yesterday with a caption saying they are finally “FREE.” He has complained that producers gave him “no privacy” and “wanted to know too much about his personal life.” Juan Pablo knows he signed up for a reality TV show about his personal life, right? [US Weekly]
  • “Star Trek” star Chris Pine was arrested for drunk driving in New Zealand earlier this month. [US Weekly]
  • This is awesome: “Law & Order: SVU” star Mariska Hargitay helped catch a real-life rapist through her organization that raises money to test the DNA of backlogged rape kits. [NYmag.com The Cut]
  • Leave it to Tilda Swinton to say something amazing about Vladimir Putin: “Russia has the gayest president ever. No, that’s an offensive thing to say — not to him, but to the gay community.” [The Daily Beast] Keep reading »

The Best & Worst Moments From Last Night’s Finale Of “The Bachelor”

The Best & Worst Moments From Last Night's Finale Of "The Bachelor"

Normally, the two-hour finale of “The Bachelor” and the subsequent hour of “After the Final Rose” are bloated with filler scenes and not-at-all exciting revelations. Even though this season of “The Bachelor” has been unlike any other, in that, you know, Juan Pablo Galavis is not fit to marry anyone and has been all-around terrible, I thought we got the full extent of his doucheitude in every other episode, and this one would be fairly boring and tame. After all, it’s been obvious for weeks that — SPOILER ALERT! – he was going to choose Nikki in the end and Clare was going to be “left brokenhearted.” Well consider me very, very surprised that I found all three hours of last night’s episode to be a complete car wreck of delights. Let’s review the episode’s best and worst moments and then celebrate that Juaaaaaan-uary is finally fucking over. Keep reading »

Meet Your Newest “Bachelorette”: Andi Dorfman

  • The predictions were right: Andi Dorfman is our new “Bachelorette”! The 26-year-old from Atlanta is an assistant district attorney who famously dumped Juan Pablo after he told her she had only made it down to the final three by “default.” Girl’s got a backbone. [US Weekly, People]
  • Kate Middleton and Prince William are being criticized for jetting off to the Maldives by themselves and leaving their son George behind with his new nanny, who was photographed (alongside a bodyguard) walking him in a pram through London’s Hyde Park. [Daily Star UK] Keep reading »
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