For the last couple of weeks, everyone I’ve engaged in simple, small talk with has asked me one question: “Are you looking forward to Thanksgiving Day?” I just give them a shrug and a tilt of the head, thinking, I’m looking forward to the days off, but I really couldn’t give a crap about actual Thanksgiving traditions. Yeah, I know it’s the time of year when I’m supposed to reflect on how thankful I am, but really, how many people actually do that? Not only that, but I’m not a big fan of Thanksgiving foods, and as a child of divorce, I have to eat two dinners worth of it every year. So given the choice, I’d sit at home watching a reality TV marathon instead of celebrating Thanksgiving Day. I’ll keep my days off, though. Keep reading »
I spend most of Thanksgiving milling around an overheated room holding a glass of wine and making conversation with aunts, great aunts, second cousins, third cousins, fourth cousins twice removed and the great uncle of the neighbor down the street. At this year’s turkey-chomping fiesta, only about one in 10 of the people in the room will be unaware that I’m gay.
Normally, I’m totally down to talk about my sexuality (read: overshare). But I’ve been working 50-hour weeks, freelancing in the evenings and trying to use whatever spare time I have to keep myself in shape. In other words, I really, really need a vacation. And during that vacation, I do not want to broach difficult topics—such as why I’m gay or who I’m seeing. I want to scarf down gravy-smothered turkey, eat mashed potatoes, drink red wine and go to bed early. Keep reading »
We thought you’d have to pry our Bliss Lemon + Sage Body Scrub from our cold, dead hands. But watch your back, Bliss, because you’ve got competition! The Body Deli’s Pumpkin Spice Scrub smells can-I-eat-this? yummy and the sea salts and shea butter exfoliated our dull winter skin, leaving buttery softness in its wake. We particularly loved using this scrub on our always-calloused feet instead of a trusty Ped Egg! You will have to act quickly, though, because this special-edition scrub is only available in the month of November. Pumpkin pie might just be for Turkey Day but you can bathe in pumpkin all winter long.
“After getting out of the NFL, [Eric] went to this healer and is very healthy. For Thanksgiving we have to make a Tofurkey! It doesn’t sound right! It’s gonna be jiggly and weird.”
—Jessica Simpson on celebrating Thanksgiving with her new fiance, Eric Johnson, who happens to be a vegan. As a vegetarian myself, I’d like to assure Jess that the tofurkey won’t be jiggly—just really dry and super bland. I say skip it and just have lots of cornbread stuffing instead. [People] Keep reading »
Ah, Thanksgiving. When you’re a kid it’s all about the mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. When you’re an adult, it’s all about rude inquisitions from your nosy aunts and your dad getting horrifically, embarassingly wasted. I don’t know anything about stuffing a bird or making a perfect cranberry sauce. But I do know a thing or two about dealing with family, seeing as I have a huge, colorful one. Gather ’round, children, and take in my wisdom from awkward family holidays past! (Also, I’m a full-blooded WASP, so take my stiff-upper-lip swamp Yankee suggestions with a grain of salt. Maybe in other parts of the country, you solve problems differently!) Keep reading »
Good news as we’re about to kick off this holiday weekend, ladies. New research has found pumpkin pie is the number one scent to enhance penile blood flow. Holiday holla! “Throw away the perfume and go get some pumpkin pie,” said Dr. Alan Hirsch, Director of Chicago’s Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Center. If you are making pumpkin pie from scratch — like, using an actual pumpkin — don’t throw away the seeds! “Pumpkin seeds are very rich in zinc.” said alternative medicine expert Dr. Ralph Monserrat. “[Therefore], there will be an increase in testosterone and that increase will also increase the sexual desire,” said Monserrat. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! [via WPBF.com and Lemondrop] Keep reading »
“I have a birthday month. I do the whole month of November. Thanksgiving, cake. All about me on Thanksgiving!”
—Miley Cyrus on turning 18, today and every other day this month. When you sit down to your Thanksgiving meal, remember that you are thankful for Miley. Err. [People] Keep reading »
Some prefer their turkey day drunkenness to transpire on the couch with a dozen relatives and a football game. Others prefer their alcohol shot directly in the bird. Georgi Vodka and several New York City restaurants have infused a turkey with five different types of vodka and prepared a 100-proof vodka gravy to serve on the side. The flavors of peach, cherry, orange, lemon and apple vodka render this recipe slightly less disgusting, but not by much. Keep reading »
Few historians recall the contributions of the cat pilgrims, a small but powerful band of felines who made the perilous journey to the New World along with the regular people pilgrims. Nonetheless, when William S. Catford II and the rest of his merry band of pilgrim cats made their maiden voyage on the Mayflower, the course of history was changed fur-ever. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »
Last year, the night before Thanksgiving, I had a glorious third date with The Architect. Partly because of our easy rapport and partly because so many people leave New York City for the holidays, everywhere we went, it felt like we were the only two people that existed. At the movie theater, rather than fighting people for seats and sitting elbow-to-elbow with strangers, we got the two seats smack-dab in the middle of the theater with no one in a six-foot radius. I remember that he put his arm around me midway through the movie and pulled me close. Later at dinner, rather than the usual 30-minute wait at my favorite restaurant, we were seated instantly at a booth. I remember us making fun of the bizarre turkey centerpiece on the table. Later that night, I remember our first kiss. I described it in my column then as “one of the slowest, softest, hottest kisses of my life.” I stand by that a year later. Keep reading »