Sadly, some of the rudest questions you’ll ever be asked in your life will be asked by the people who supposedly love you the most. It’s Thanksgiving, which means it’s time to hunker down and prepare to field ridiculous/annoying/ignorant questions from your relatives without losing your shit. Maybe your aunt doesn’t realize how rude it is to ask when you’re planning to get pregnant because your “time is running out” — or maybe she does. But either way, it’s best to have some zingers prepared to stun her into an embarrassed silence. From invasive relationship queries to backhanded insults about your chosen career, here are some approved responses to the most insulting questions you’re bound to be asked. Keep reading »
For the first time since 1888, the first day of Hanukkah falls on Thanksgiving. Because this might not happen again until the year 79,811, we’d better play dreidel for squares of pumpkin pie and put gourd stems in our menorahs while we have the chance. Click through for some yummy Thanksgivukkah recipes for this once-in-a-lifetime holiday.
The first time someone called me a derogatory name on an internet comment forum, tears stung my eyes like I just got sucker punched. “Drunken slut” was not something I ever expected to be referred to as simply for writing a well-intended, personal essay about my dating life. I was reminded of being blindsided at the mall in 8th grade by a girl in my class I barely knew. She rounded the corner of Sam Goody, and closed in on me with two of her sidekicks. “I’m gonna beat your ass, you whore!” she screamed in my face.
I had barely even kissed a boy. I wasn’t anywhere near ready to process, or even understand, her insult. I called my mom to pick me up and didn’t go back to the mall for two months. Keep reading »
“Thanksgiving appetizer” might seem like an oxymoron, because, well, the entire day is dedicated to stuffing yourself. Do you really need a snack before the main event? I say yes, for a few reasons. Firstly, if you munch a bit throughout the day, you’ll be less likely to completely gorge yourself at dinner (at least in theory). Secondly, being interrogated about your relationship status by your great aunt is infinitely more bearable while eating a delicious dip. Plus, as a Thanksgiving guest, bringing a fun appetizer is a surefire way to feel like you contributed something, even if the host refuses any help with the actual dinner. Sound good? Click through for 10 super easy Thanksgiving appetizer recipes!
Right around this time every year I start to sulk, wondering why I’m still single and asking myself if it’s really necessary for the folks over at Kay Jewelers to inundate us with sappy commercials every two and a half minutes. I usually cope by drowning my dark thoughts in turkey and extra large glasses of cabernet … but not this year.
This year, as Thanksgiving approaches, I’ve decided to stop dwelling on my singledom, and instead, come up with a little wish list for the man who (I hope) will one day pull up a seat beside me at my family’s Thanksgiving feast. That man, whoever he may be, is gonna have a lot of tests to pass. I hope he’s up for the challenge: Keep reading »