Engaged couples have plenty to worry about leading up to the big wedding day: Will it rain? Will my dress fit after all of the stress eating I’ve been doing? Will my best man get too drunk after the ceremony? Are we going to be destitute when this whole thing is all over? So imagine everything going perfectly to plan, and you’re standing at the alter, ready to say “I do,” when a “depraved” man suddenly show ups and starts flashing his balls. Keep reading »
What would you be willing to do for a new car? Perhaps your answers range from sensible (take on some part-time work to earn extra dough) to over-the-top (buy scratch tickets until I hit it big!). Crazy dude, Mark Parisi, is taking it a step further. On the TV show “The Doctors,” Parisi announced that he will be “donating” his left testicle for medical research at the sum of $35,000. (Well, at least we know the going rate for a ball. ) Mind you, he is doing this solely so he can afford to buy the Nissan 370z he’s been coveting.
I had no idea it was an option to sell off body parts willy nilly. I really want to put a down payment on an apartment and do a bit of traveling. I wonder how much I could get for my right boob? [Metro UK]
Warning: this video is both graphic and ridiculous. Please, watch at your own risk. Nathan Bells’ balls are not in a good place right now. As part of his “punishment” for losing an Xbox match to a friend, the 20-year-old Leeds University student stapled his testicles and let his fellow co-eds film the whole business and broadcast it on the school’s website. Keep reading »
Performance artists do a lot of wild, crazy, bold things to get attention and make a statement, but this story might take the case. On Sunday, Russian performance artist Pyotr Pavlensky stripped naked in the middle of Moscow’s Red Square and nailed his scrotum to the cobblestone street. He explained — in between wailing in pain, I imagine — that the protest was his response to Russia’s descent into a “police state.” Sunday was Police Day in Russia, which celebrates the country’s law enforcement. Clearly, Pavlensky is not a fan of the holiday. He went on in a statement: Keep reading »
Gird your loins, New Jersey: the powerfully-jawed pacu fish, known to bite off the testicles of unsuspecting fishermen, has been caught in Passaic lake. A 77-year-old man reeled in a strange-looking fish with “human teeth,” so he brought it to a nearby pet supply store. Come to find out, the ugly critter is an invasive species called the pacu fish. Called the “nutcracker fish,” supposedly pacus have mistaken human testicles for tree nuts — their regular diet — and allegedly caused the death of two men who died from blood loss after their nuts got chomped. Originally, the pacu are native to Papua New Guinea and the Amazon River, but are kept as pets and sometimes dumped into bodies of water when the owners no longer want them. Fishermen caught a pacu in June at an Illinois lake and the fish also been found in Paris. More bad news for the testicles of New Jersey? Pacu fish live for 20 years. Time to invest in some iron-clad fishing waders, boys! [Huffington Post] [Raw Story] [Image via Raw Story]
Watch out, France. The infamous testicle-biting fish appears to be on the move.
After a fisherman discovered a pacu in the strait of Oresund earlier this year, authorities warned Scandinavian swimmers to be wary while skinny-dipping. Now that a pacu was caught near Paris, it seems the piranha relative is making its way west. Read more at Huffington Post…
It’s every man’s worst nightmare to wake up from a nap and find out one of his balls is missing. For an anonymous 39-year-old man in Trumann, Arkansas, it was bloody reality. The man, who is paralyzed from the waist down, fell asleep naked on Monday. When he woke up, his recently adopted “small, white, fluffy” dog was between his thighs with blood on his muzzle and the man felt “burning pain” in his mid-section. The pooch had “eaten one of his testicles,” according to the police report, although it’s not clear why he favored his master’s sweaty balls instead over Beggin’ Strips. Perhaps he was inspired by paco, that species of toothy testicle-eating fish. The doggie has since been euthanized and is being tested for rabies. His owner is lucky he woke when he did before he lost both testes. All the more reasons to vaccinate your pets, folks. [CBS Local] [KAIT8] [Image of bad dog via Shutterstock]
I mean, right? Justin Theroux went brief-less filming a jogging scene for his new movie yesterday, while the “Liz & Dick” actor brought his moose knuckle to the “Despicable Me” 2″ premiere. Settle down, guys. Jon Hamm doesn’t even want the title of “Most Obviously Big Balled Actor In Hollywood.” Let’s not be so competitive. There’s plenty of room in Hollywood for all of your impressive packages. [Photos: Splash News]
Up until he underwent a grueling 13-hour surgery, Wesley Warren Jr. had 132-pound testicles. In 2009, after crushing his testicles in his sleep, Warren Jr., developed a disorder called “scrotal lymphedema” (also known as scrotal elephantiasis). His balls swelled to a gargantuan size, and his titanic testes were so massive that he toyed with the idea of selling the boys on eBay, which, oddly enough, is not all that rare of an idea. In his condition, Warren was unable to have sex and experienced tons of pain. Also, apparently carrying around testicles the size of another human is not especially good for one’s health. Considering all of these things, the surgery that brought his testicles back down to average size sounds like the best possible scenario, right?
Well …. Keep reading »
“He would give his balls to go there!”
This statement, though usually figurative, is meant very literally by 52-year-old Colombian poet Raffael Medina Brochero. He has offered to sell his testicles to the first person who offers him the desired amount, which right now has been reported to be anywhere from $20,000 to $200,000. Keep reading »