Dear Thomas, AKA Mr. Ballsy,
First, allow me to compliment you on your ball. It’s huge and smooth and you look really hot attached to it. But it’s not the size or the softness or the sex appeal of your ball that appeals to me — it’s what you’re doing with your ball that really matters. A cancer survivor yourself, you’ve embarked upon a cross-country trip with your rolling inflatable testicle in tow, spreading awareness about testicular health and cancer. By relying on the kindness of your fellow man to help you reach the end of your journey, you’re creating unique opportunities to share with them the goals of your trip in the first place.
“I want people to come and (say), ‘I’ll book a hotel room, I’ll take you out to lunch, I’ll fill up your gas tank’ or whatever, and I want those physical connections, I don’t just want people to donate to me, I want people to connect with me,” you explained to MTV. Well, Thomas, if I may be ballsy myself, I would like to connect with you. Keep reading »
Engaged couples have plenty to worry about leading up to the big wedding day: Will it rain? Will my dress fit after all of the stress eating I’ve been doing? Will my best man get too drunk after the ceremony? Are we going to be destitute when this whole thing is all over? So imagine everything going perfectly to plan, and you’re standing at the alter, ready to say “I do,” when a “depraved” man suddenly show ups and starts flashing his balls. Keep reading »
What would you be willing to do for a new car? Perhaps your answers range from sensible (take on some part-time work to earn extra dough) to over-the-top (buy scratch tickets until I hit it big!). Crazy dude, Mark Parisi, is taking it a step further. On the TV show “The Doctors,” Parisi announced that he will be “donating” his left testicle for medical research at the sum of $35,000. (Well, at least we know the going rate for a ball. ) Mind you, he is doing this solely so he can afford to buy the Nissan 370z he’s been coveting.
I had no idea it was an option to sell off body parts willy nilly. I really want to put a down payment on an apartment and do a bit of traveling. I wonder how much I could get for my right boob? [Metro UK]
Warning: this video is both graphic and ridiculous. Please, watch at your own risk. Nathan Bells’ balls are not in a good place right now. As part of his “punishment” for losing an Xbox match to a friend, the 20-year-old Leeds University student stapled his testicles and let his fellow co-eds film the whole business and broadcast it on the school’s website. Keep reading »
Performance artists do a lot of wild, crazy, bold things to get attention and make a statement, but this story might take the case. On Sunday, Russian performance artist Pyotr Pavlensky stripped naked in the middle of Moscow’s Red Square and nailed his scrotum to the cobblestone street. He explained — in between wailing in pain, I imagine — that the protest was his response to Russia’s descent into a “police state.” Sunday was Police Day in Russia, which celebrates the country’s law enforcement. Clearly, Pavlensky is not a fan of the holiday. He went on in a statement: Keep reading »
Gird your loins, New Jersey: the powerfully-jawed pacu fish, known to bite off the testicles of unsuspecting fishermen, has been caught in Passaic lake. A 77-year-old man reeled in a strange-looking fish with “human teeth,” so he brought it to a nearby pet supply store. Come to find out, the ugly critter is an invasive species called the pacu fish. Called the “nutcracker fish,” supposedly pacus have mistaken human testicles for tree nuts — their regular diet — and allegedly caused the death of two men who died from blood loss after their nuts got chomped. Originally, the pacu are native to Papua New Guinea and the Amazon River, but are kept as pets and sometimes dumped into bodies of water when the owners no longer want them. Fishermen caught a pacu in June at an Illinois lake and the fish also been found in Paris. More bad news for the testicles of New Jersey? Pacu fish live for 20 years. Time to invest in some iron-clad fishing waders, boys! [Huffington Post] [Raw Story] [Image via Raw Story]