Soooo. I sat through two long ass hours of the most boring not controversial “Bachelor” finale ever. Really, the only part I wanted to see was “After the Final Rose.” So I had to watch. The only thing that kept me slogging through was Amelia’s company and that bottle of wine we were working on. We also played Bengo intermittently. They said “special” A LOT so we killed the bottle fairly quickly. I spent most of the two hours cringing, burying my face in my hands and muttering under my breath about feeling “deep shame.” This finale, in addition to being a snoozefest, was extremely embarrassing. The love letter Courtney wrote. Her lack of proper punctuation. Lindzi’s stress breakouts. Ben’s sister’s weird hair. And the capes! Good God! The capes! Which leads me to the most embarrassing moment … Lindzi’s dumping. Keep reading »
I have just heard the news that my very favorite obscure ’80s television show, “Rags to Riches,” is going to be released on DVD in June. This is like a major event in my world. The two seasons that it ran on NBC (from 1986-1987) were some of the happiest TV moments of my childhood. (Embarrassing confession: I recorded every episode on VHS and learned them by heart. More embarrassing confession: I still have those tapes.) I imagined that, if the show continued on for a few seasons, the older orphans would grow up, move out and need to be replaced with younger orphans. And that, being the double threat (actress/singer) that I was, I would land a part on that show. Keep reading »
We made our predictions for this season of TLC’s “My Strange Addiction.” We expected a toenail collector (apparently there is going to be a toenail addict this season) or a vinegar drinker (also, a woman who likes to smell Pine Cleaner … that’s close), but a moth ball snorter? No, we did not anticipate that. On this Sunday’s episode we are going to meet Alicia, a 45-year-old hairdresser who lives in Atlanta.
“I love the smell [of moth balls] … I find it irresistible and it’s hard for me to stay away from it for long periods of time … I always keep a stash somewhere so I can get a smell … I am so dependent, I can’t go more than an hour without the scent … I’ll just have to quit cold turkey and keep them away from my children,” she said of her ball habit.
I know, you’re thinking, What’s the harm in letter her sniff her moth balls? Well, they contain toxic chemicals, which can affect one’s health when sniffed in excess. WOW. [ONTD]
“Ru Paul’s Drag Race” Season 4 looks absolutely sick! Based on this preview, we should prepare to gag on some serious eleganza because these queens are serving up reality realness like never before. Work! January 30, 2012. Calendar marked. The only thing that could make it more of a main event in my life is if Ru invited me to be a extra special guest. Nobody cares about Kelly Osbourne, right? And I’m not just throwing shade. [NYMag]
“When I did my show, created my show or whatever, I also created a persona on ‘Top Model.’ And it’s a character … So, when I’m sitting there and I have all this make-up on, and I’m like, ‘Your picture’s not fierce…’ talking all that and reprimanding the girls, that is a character … I don’t do that, like, in real life; I’m passive aggressive. I’m anti-confrontational; I’m even in coaching to learn how to be confrontational. It’s a character, but people think it’s real. I’m so not sexy. I know how to turn it on for a picture, but I’m not sexy in real life.”
– Tyra Banks on her “ANTM” alter ego. I wonder if she calls her alter ego Tookie. I wonder if she looks in her mirror each morning and whispers, “I am Tookie” to her reflection. I want to believe this so badly — that Tyra is really humble and meek and not the egomaniac she comes off as. Really I do. [Clutch Mag]
“I do know how the whole show ends … It came to me in the middle of last season. I always felt like it would be the experience of human life. And human life has a destination. It doesn’t mean Don’s gonna die. What I’m looking for, and how I hope to end the show, is like … It’s 2011. Don Draper would be 84 right now. I want to leave the show in a place where you have an idea of what it meant and how it’s related to you. It’s a very tall order, but I always talk about ‘Abbey Road.’ What’s the song at the end of ‘Abbey Road?’ It’s called ‘The End.’ There is a culmination of an experience of people working at their highest level. And all I want to do is not wear out the welcome. I was 35 when I wrote the ‘Mad Men’ pilot, 42 when I got to make it, and I’ll be 50 when it goes off the air. So that’s what you’re gonna get. Do I know everything that’s gonna happen? No, I don’t. But I just want it to be entertaining, and I want people to remember it fondly and not think it ended in a fart.”
– Matthew Weiner on the denouement of “Mad Men“‘s final season. Maybe I misinterpreted his quote, but it sounds like we’re going to get to see Don Draper, present day, in the nursing home and find out what became of him and all the other characters. I’ll bet he’ll still be a hot, whiskey drinking womanizer at age 84. I need it now! [Grantland]
“The Witch Doctor Will See You Now,” a new miniseries on the National Geographic Channel, is pretty much my television dream come true. Piers Gibbon takes Americans with incurable illnesses and ailments to exotic places like the Amazon or the Peruvian rain forest to receive extreme, alternative treatments from witch doctors and mystics. You know, fun stuff like drinking snake blood and cow pee, bathing in termite guts, and sucking down hallucinogenic tea. Yay! [Live Science]
While I attempted to do the booty bounce along with the Fly Girls, my brother would hobble around the living room tucking his upper lip and blinking one eye (his best Fire Marshall Bill impersonation). It was a ritual in our house to watch the ’90s sketch comedy extravaganza, “In Living Color.” The groundbreaking Fox show, which launched the careers of superstars like Jennifer Lopez, Jim Carrey, and Jamie Foxx, is getting a second chance to shine. Fox has announced that two episodes will air as part of the network’s 25th anniversary. As if that news was not exciting enough, Keenen Ivory Wayans has signed on to produce one more season of the show with an all new cast. Yay! A ’90s show I actually want to watch again. This could be really, really good. I humbly request the return of LaWanda and Homey D. Clown. [NY Mag]
I predict more “Arrested Development” humor in your future. Especially if you receive a reading with this prophetic Tarot deck. See what fate has in store for you according to the Bluths. Just keep your fingers crossed that you don’t pull the death card. We all know how that worked out for Buster. [Buzzfeed]
“Just because the show was for kids, I would never write down. I would write the kind of deep, rich story that I would like to watch – just trusting it would communicate to the viewers, and it did. The characters were rich, and deep, and had a lot of life to them, a lot of threads… It was like a big, grand soap opera for kids. Also, I’ve found that the basic sense of someone who has two identities… That resonated with a lot of the viewers. There was just something about that fundamental essence of figuring out who you are, and being torn between two identities – particularly, I would have to say for a lot of gay viewers. I think it struck a very, very strong note for a lot of young gay people who were struggling with their own identity at the time.”
– Christy Marx, the creator of “Jem and the Holograms,” talks about the lasting power of the show. I totally missed the deeper level of Jem at the time. I mean, I was in the single digits. I loved Jem because I was already performing at the time. I related to the idea of being able to take on a different identity on stage. Also, her clothes were amazing. [MTV]