Jessica is turning 30 next week and her husband is gifting her with a Kindle Paperwhite, which really is the perfect gift for a book nerd like her. Naturally, she’s in the market for a cute cover/sleeve/case, so I volunteered to peruse Etsy for her and any other tablet owners who want their gadgets to be protected and well-dressed.
It might soon be much easier for all of us to become a little more Christ-like, if only in the “being able to turn water into wine” department. As you’ll see in this infomercial/informational video (seriously though, why is there a fireplace in the background? weird vibes), a tech entrepreneur and a wine expert have developed what they call the “Miracle Machine,” an “accelerated wine-making device for the home” that allows users to turn water into wine using a few affordable ingredients and a smartphone app (I don’t think Jesus had one of those). According to Boyer and James, the Miracle Machine is “controlled by a mobile app that guides you through the winemaking process on your device whilst monitoring progress,” and “takes just three days and a couple of dollars to make wine that would normally cost at least $20.” This counter-top wine maker is still in the development stages, and is projected to retail for $499, but hey, that’s a smile price to pay for the ability to make miracles happen, right? [Vimeo]
A sex new app called Lick This allows users to engage in interactive exercises that supposedly train your tongue for pleasure. I know what you’re thinking: Great idea, but how is that possible without actually licking my iPhone screen? Answer: it’s not. You are meant to flick a light switch, move a zipper up and down, solve a maze, crank a handle and ring a doorbell with your tongue ON YOUR GERM-INFESTED SCREEN. And then you want to put that dirty mouth in some unlucky person’s pants? I think not. Although the app’s creators suggest that you wrap your phone in plastic before you get down to business, we know that people are about as likely to do that as they are to use a dental dam. Keep reading »
Living in New York City means I have no reason to ever order from or eat at a chain pizza establishment like Pizza Hut. I mean, if you’re going to Pizza Hut when there are at least five better, more authentic and just as affordable pizza joints within spitting distance, you’ve got problems. However, while their pizza tastes like bland sauce-covered cardboard, Pizza Hut’s pizza-ordering technology is on the cutting edge. According to Eater, Pizza Hut “has teamed up with software developer Chaotic Moon Studios to offer a concept video that imagines what on-table, touchscreen ordering might look like.” And you know what it looks like? FUN. The touchscreen stands in for the usual, disgruntled Pizza Hut waiter, and allowed you to customize your pie with various finger swipes and taps. I’m still totally uninterested in eating at Pizza Hut, but should they ever implement this technology into their restaurants, I would totally stop in to assemble a complicated order on the touchscreen — and cancel it when I’m done. [Eater]
BroApp, the android app created by two, 29-year-old Aussie bros Tom and James, is being billed as “a clever relationship wingman” that pre-programs and sends text messages to girlfriends so that guys “can spend more time with the Bros.” Because those extra two minutes of time spent lifting, gaming or hanging with the bros are absolutely CRUCIAL. Keep reading »
We’ve all been guilty of texting while walking, and potentially running into our fellow pedestrians as a result. The nightly news stations love to dissect this habit on the regular, and it’s hard not to wonder what it means for us as a species. In the future, will public sidewalks be dotted with as many “Don’t Text And Walk” signs as highways are with “Buckle Up” signs? Will humans evolve into creatures with slouchy spines that are perpetually hunched over in a typing position because so much of the time we spend walking is also spent hunched over our phones (science folks, humor me, I studied the liberal arts, is that a thing)!? Keep reading »
Apparently, we haven’t had enough people plunge into massive bodies of water for the sake of their phones yet — it’s happened again. This time, though, the story isn’t quite so funny. Earlier this week, 26-year-old Ken Hoang fell into the frigid Chicago River while trying to retrieve his phone, which he dropped on the ice. His two friends, a 23-year-old man and a 21-year-old woman, walked onto the ice to try to pull him out of the river, only to fall in themselves. Keep reading »
Technology! Ain’t it grand? A new app called Quit Your Job will, yes, quit your job for you and it will do the whole thing via text. Seriously.
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Another good reason for teens to have restricted use of technology that makes it easier for stupid stuff to happen: a 13-year-old girl allegedly took a picture on SnapChat of her mother and 14-year-old sister — both topless in a hot tub — and it got spread around a couple of Missouri high schools. Keep reading »