• Taylor Swift says she chooses to be single so she can have time for scented candles and writing in her diary. [People]—Well, that does sound much more serene than hectic couple life.
• Ashlee Simpson says husband Pete Wentz loves her stretch-marked post-baby body. [Starpulse]—He’s not the first guy I’ve heard of who likes certain stretch marks.
• A rep for David Letterman is denying that his wife, Regina Lasko, has kicked him out of their home, despite reports from The National Enquirer. [PopEater]

Last night at the CMAs, the country music world showed Taylor Swift that it adores her. By ripping the crap out of Kanye West. In case you forgot (or were living in the Australian outback for the last couple of months), at the VMAs Kanye interrupted Taylor’s acceptance speech, barging up on stage to announce that Beyonce should have won. Super awkward and uncool! Well, those funny country folks set up not one, but two Kanye spoof moments last night. The first was when Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood were interrupted by 88-year-old Little Jimmy Dickens to say, “I know you had a nice video and all, but Taylor Swift made the best video of all time. Of all time! You go, girl!”

Wow, Taylor Swift is on a roll. After headlining “Saturday Night Live” last weekend, Taylor swept the CMA awards last night winning the coveted “Entertainer of the Year” title at the ripe age of 19. Not everyone was thrilled with her win, though. Country legend Wynonna Judd sounded like sour grapes when she told USA Today: “You want my honest comment? It’s too much too soon. Time is God’s way of keeping everything from happening at once. It’s just too much of a good thing too soon.” Then she added that she worries someone who has achieved such great success at a young age won’t have anything else to work for afterward. “Now it’s over coffee breaks, the success, almost. You have to play catch up ... It’s like the girl who wins an Oscar and she’s under 20. What do you do from here?” Something tells me Taylor Swift will figure it out just fine. “I never imagined that the unattainable thing that I dreamed about could happen to me at 19,” she said about her big win. “It’s a lot to absorb. So now the next challenge is to find the next challenge.” [via US Weekly]

Everybody speculated Taylor Swift would use her hosting powers to skewer Hennessy-swigging rude boy Kanye West in her “SNL” monologue and she kind of did, towards the end. But I heard myself shrieking, “Yeah, Taylor!” when she called out another jerk in Hollywood who’s done her wrong: ex-boyfriend Joe Jonas, who she says cheated. Very ballsy. I love it!

Keep watching for the cutest moment ever when Tay-Tay blew a kiss and mouthed “I love you” to her new guy, Taylor Lautner. Guess that means it’s official?

My favorite “country” music singer, Taylor Swift, will be hosting and performing on “Saturday Night Live” this weekend, and the promo pays tribute to the Kanye West debacle at the MTV Video Music Awards. Yes, this incident was rather amusing and ridiculous, but I’m gonna be a little annoyed if there are multiple references to it during Saturday’s show. A joke can only be funny so many times. (Oh, and Taylor, please sing “Tell Me Why.” I like that one.)

I am picturing the nuptials. “Do you, Taylor, take Taylor to be your lawfully wedded wife?” “I do.” “Do you, Taylor, take Taylor to be your lawfully wedded husband?” “I do.” Sigh. I wish there were a boy out there named Amelia. We could have such fun together. [Beverly Hills, 10/29/09]

• Hearings have begun concerning Anna Nicole Smith‘s last painful days when she was too weak to walk and could only drink Pedialyte through a baby bottle. [L.A. Times]—The more that’s revealed about her story, the sadder and sorrier that it becomes.
• A road map for how women pick their Halloween costumes! Does it apply to you? [Maxim]
• The International Glove Association fears for the future of mittens. Apparently, as people become obese, they store more heat and the extra comes out through the extremities, heating the hands. With more Americans being categorized as obese, fewer folks may require the mittens. [AOL]—International Glove Association? No more mittens? This is just too weird.

Getting called a “jackass” by Obama must smart. But Kanye West, you were a real douchebag. Your punishment for interrupting sweet lil’ Taylor Swift isn’t up ‘til Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers have their way with you on “Weekend Update!”

And next time, Kanye, don’t be chugging Hennessy on the red carpet. Really.

I wasn’t so interested in watching the first episode of Jay Leno’s new prime-time show last night, until I heard that Kanye West was appearing, to talk about the Taylor Swift Debacle of 2009. And I gotta say, after a lame apology on his website yesterday, Kanye seemed really sincere, at least partly because Jay took a pot shot and asked Kanye what his mom would say. After a long pause, and maybe a moment of almost crying, Kanye said, “I deal with hurt. So many celebrities, they never take the time off and I’ve never the taken the time off—it’s music after music and tour after tour. And I’m just ashamed that my hurt caused someone else’s hurt. I don’t try to justify it, because I was in the wrong. But I need to, after this, take some time off and analyze how I’m gonna make it through the rest of my life.”

Then this morning, Taylor Swift appeared on “The View.” See her after the jump.

The MTV Video Music Awards were on for less than 30 minutes when ... CONTROVERSY. The first category of the night was “Best Female Video,” and Taylor Swift won for “You Belong With Me” over Beyonce‘s “Single Ladies” and Lady Gaga‘s “Poker Face.” Taylor started giving her “I’m just a country singer” acceptance speech, when Kanye West entered from stage left. He grabbed the mic out of Taylor’s hands and said, “I congratulate you Taylor, but I gotta say ... Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time.”

T-minus 16 days until the MTV Music Video Awards on Sept. 13, and the promo videos for the show are actually way cute. Above, MTV’s version of “Tonight” from “West Side Story” starring Cobra Starship, Leighton Meester, Ne-Yo, Katy Perry, and Taylor Swift. After the jump, Britney Spears and Russell Brand flirt via telepathy.

Holy red lipstick Batman! We’re suddenly inspired to match cherry lips to our nails, though we’ll probably skip the curling iron. But only out of sheer laziness. [London, 8/24/09]

Since Keith Urban and Taylor Swift are on tour together, Keith asked Taylor to join him on stage to sing “Kiss a Girl.” Taylor came out decked-out in KISS gear for the duet. Keith burst out laughing.

Last week, we told you about Quentin Tarantino’s favorite prank: photographing his stars asleep with a dildo by their face. Do celebrities seem to pull pranks on each other more than the average person? After the jump, pranks caught on tape.

Taylor Swift and T-Pain teamed up last night at the Country Music Television awards in Nashville. Instead of the typical sex/money/cars crap, this song succumbs to a different kind of stereotype. Taylor, sounding a little shrill, talks about baking cookies, knitting, and other things that women supposedly do. T-Pain saves all the good lyrics for himself and gives Taylor lines like, “I ain’t got a gun. I never really been in a club. Still live with my parents, but I’m still a thug!” Why are they rapping at a country music awards show anyway?

Taylor’s blue and silver sparkly hotness wasn’t the only thing that totally shined this morning on the “Today” show. After the jump, you can catch the teen Queen’s stunning performance. [NYC, 5/29/09]

“It’s fine to talk about love publicly, but I think when you talk about virginity and sex publicly, people just automatically picture you naked. And as much as I can prevent people picturing me naked, I’m going to.” —Taylor Swift in Allure