Oh, tax season. Doing my taxes stresses me the hell out: I do so much freelance writing that I have one million forms. And trust me, if you screw up your taxes — even unintentionally — the IRS will hunt you down like a dog. I always say this year will be different, this year I’ll do it all by myself on TurboTax. Instead, I just hyperventilate for weeks.
Anyone else with me on this?
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This Sunday, Patrick and I will celebrate our first anniversary as married people. I would love to tell you the last twelve months have comprised a life-changing, soul-altering period of self-discovery and exploration of what it means to be in love. That this column will be full of witty and insightful paragraphs full of meaningful revelations.
“Would you marry me again?” I asked Patrick over beers at our local dive. Sure, he said, “But I wouldn’t plan another wedding.”
On that point, we’re agreed. And we’re also agreed on this point: the main thing that the last year of nuptial bliss — and it really has been bliss — has taught us is that being married isn’t significantly different than being everything but married.
In fact, the most significant difference between my pre-marriage life with Patrick and my post-marriage life with Patrick? Twenty dollars. Keep reading »
Your taxes have to be postmarked with today’s date unless you filed for an extension, and we really hope you didn’t forget! If you were good and got them all done, reward yourself with a trip to Babeland. The classy sex shop with stores in Seattle and New York is giving away free Gold Digger vibrators to the first 100 people who come to their stores and tell them they filed their tax returns, as well as a 10 percent discount in stores and online for everyone. So, give your money to the government, and then bail out your sex life from its recession (without sleeping with your tax man). Keep reading »
Oh, Tax Day. How do we loathe you? So, yeah, ladies, don’t forget to file today. I either love filing my taxes because I’m getting money back or I despise it because I owe a ton. In a perfect world, what would you like your tax dollars to go to? I personally would love for tampons and birth control to be totally free, because it’s not our fault that our ovaries do what they do. [TurboTax] Keep reading »