Dear Guy Who Got A Gorilla Tattoo On The Back Of His Head,
Listen, I thought our relationship was going pretty well. I thought your bald spot was cute. I really liked your taste in beaded chokers. And then you went to the tattoo parlor, and came back with … this. What am I supposed to do when I wake up in the middle of the night and this thing’s staring at me from your pillow?! Sorry to say it, but we’re gonna have to break up. I hope you and your fearsome head gorilla live happily ever after.
“I’ve gotten pretty bad tattoos before. Everybody knows I have the ratchet-iest booty tattoo of an ex-boyfriend. I don’t know what I was thinking … It’s awful. Ten-letter last name, Kardashian. It’s pretty bad, yeah. Now that is a ratchet tattoo. I made a very bad decision. Don’t follow my example.”
– Adrienne Bailon, ex-girlfriend of Rob Kardashian, admitted that she regrets getting his full name inked on her butt while appearing as a guest on “The Real.” In fact, she hates her “Robert A. Kardashian” tattoo so much that she’s getting it lasered off. Good call. I wouldn’t want to walk around with Kardashian branding on my ass either. But doesn’t everyone know that you should never get an S.O.’s name inked on any part of your body? People really have to stop doing that. It never ends well. [NYMag.com]
Dear Bob Baker,
Congrats on your new tattoo! It looks like it’s healing really nicely. I’m sure you’re getting a lot of attention for it right now. Not necessarily for getting a tattoo of your wife in a bikini and high heels pushing a lawnmower on your bald spot that people are calling “wicked,” but for being a 68-year-old man with a 28-year-old wife. Eh, if Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison can get hitched, so can you and your wife, Kelly. You’ve been together for nine years now, married for three. You’ve got nothing to prove. Although your two grown daughters, who are respectively 10 and 16 years older than your wife, may not feel the same way about the relationship. Keep reading »
If your parents have ever hassled you about a no-good, worthless jerk you’ve been dating, it’s time send Mom and Dad an email saying, “At least I wasn’t dating this guy!” This guy is Billy Gibby, who changed his name to Hostgator Dotcom when he sold his name the the web hosting company Hostgator.com. That’s not the only thing Dotcom’s made a quick buck off of: he earned $50,000 a decade ago getting his entire face tattooed with URLs for porn sites and online casinos. He’s a walking billboard for sleaze! But after learning that Dotcom might want to remove some of those face tats, one of the porn sites, Cam4.com, has offered to pay for the cost of laser tattoo removal. ”They advertised on my face a long time ago … and decided they wanted to help me,” Dotcom told VICE magazine. “They’re just doing it to be nice.” Nice indeed. Just think of all the respectable jobs he could get with one less porn site URL tattooed on his face.
[Daily Dot] [Image via Facebook.com/HostgatorDotcom]
Companies run a lot of weird scams to get attention and free advertising. In the case of New York real estate company Rapid Realty, that worked in spades. Company manager Anthony Lolli devised a plan to give employees who got tattoos permanent 15 percent raises.
But there’s a catch! Isn’t there always?
Keep reading »