Tara Reid … she’s back, bitches! And just in time for Shark Week. Last night, the “Sharknado” star appeared on Discovery Channel’s “Shark After Dark,” where she schooled us all on whale sharks, which she initially thought were the product of whales and sharks mating, but then she realized that whales and sharks can’t have sex because they are mammals and animals respectively. That’s when she figured out that a whale shark is a breed of shark. And she said this all in one breath. God, I feel like starring in “Sharknado” was the best career decision she ever made. I think Tara’s next move is to host a nature show. How fun would that be?
In other, more somber shark-related news, a baby sand shark was found dead on my subway line last night. Not while I was on the subway, but on the very same train that takes me home, that I had ridden merely one hour earlier. Keep reading »
Did you watch the Ian Ziering-helmed SyFy ridiculousness that is “SharkNado” last night? Because I did! And it was … amazing! And … informative! And I think I might be ready to pursue a career as a meteoranimalogist (that’s the guy who predicts the next and latest combo-predatory animal/extreme weather). For anybody who for some stupid reason missed “SharkNado,” here’s what it’s about: The oceans flood, biblical-style, off the cost of Santa Monica, and the sharks are pissed! At the same time, a triple tornado strikes the city of Los Angeles. This creates a literal perfect storm of extreme weather and shark attacks. The movie stars Tara Reid, Ian Ziering and John Heard (who, OMG, what happened to you, dad from “Home Alone”?). It is predictably terrible, but I learned many things, like… Keep reading »
Tara Reid is taking a hiatus from drunken days and nights on the beaches of Saint Tropez. She’s packing up her bikinis and leaving her BFFs Jedward behind because, folks, she got a job. The queen of embarrassing moments tweeted this picture of herself dressed as Effie Trinket from “The Hunger Games” with the caption “Today at work shooting my new untitled film produced by Jamie Kennedy. It’s gonna be super cool!” Yeah, I don’t get it either. How Tara Reid of her. [NY Daily News]
The caption on this photo says “Tara Reid takes Jedward out on the town,” as if Jedward–who skyrocketed to ersatz-fame when they competed in Eurovision a few years ago–are her pet beagles or something. And maybe they are! She has hung out with them quite a lot. They’re Jedward after all, and I view Jedward with the same sort of fascination that Winona feels for Celine Dion. [I could be wrong, but I suspect Winona will take issue with you comparing Jedward to the greatest singer. In the world! -- Editor] And, like, what do you imagine they talk about? Macaulay Culkin? Silk shirts? The ineffable disappointment you feel when your “American Pie” costars refuse to call you back? Regardless, I hope this Tara Reid/Jedward combo plays out to its inevitable end — which is a parody porno. [Photo: Fame/Flynet]
Poor Tara Reid. Every time you think the girl is getting her act together, there’s another cringeworthy photo or bizarre news item about her. The latest embarrassment in a long string of embarrassments occurred this weekend in Saint-Tropez, where she has been on permanent vacation. TMZ video footage showed what appeared to be a wasted Tara Reid and equally drunk friend stumbling into a parked motorbike, knocking it over and collapsing into a half-naked heap on the ground. The two eventually made their way to their feet again, but not without much swaying and wobbling. Keep reading »
So, Tara Reid, on permanent vacation from her career, is still in Saint-Tropez, France, and currently she is keeping the company of two skinny blond Troll dolls that go by the singular name Jedward. Or something. I don’t know, really, what a Jedward is, but any friend of Tara Reid’s is a friend of mine. How do I get in on her lifestyle? I assume it requires blowing someone with yacht, which I can do. Anyway, keep clicking for more totally stupid — and by that I mean funny stupid — photos.