I knew tanning beds weren’t a great idea, but I didn’t realize they were this bad! People who start fake-baking before age 30 have a 75 percent higher chance of getting cancer and are eight times more likely to get melanoma. [Guh-reat.—Editor] But, wait: It gets worse. Asbestos, arsenic, radium, and cigarettes are all as carcinogenic as the UV light found in tanning booths. Some tanning salons say they use UV-A light, which was previously thought to be safer, but the committee that conducted this study says, “Hell, no.” No matter what type of UV radiation you’re exposed to, you’re in trouble. Stay away, girls. Stay far, far away! I wonder if tanning salons will have to put some kind of warning signs on their front doors, like you see on packs of ciggies. [LA Times]

When it comes to buying things for their pets, for some (lucky) folks it’s all recession, what? Just when we thought a dog flying via private jet was the apex of crazy pet services, the newest ridiculousness that’s been born into the pampered pooch universe: Dog tanning booths. Well, sort of. They’re called Fauna Saunas and the company claims the heated spa beds are “radiant heat-enhanced.” Essentially, they emit “far infrared” warmth, which feels to a dog (or cat) like they’re basking in sunlight. Wait ... most people do have a home or apartment with windows where sun streams through, right? This makes us wonder where you need to draw the line.

Those Italians just love the sun. So much so that they just came out with a new line of bikinis called Skin, which feature heart cutouts on the butt so that when you’re baking on the beach, you’re left with a little tattoo-tan on your behind. Clearly, these are only for the I Heart Tanning set, otherwise known the I Heart Skin Cancer crowd.

What do you think? Would you risk the rays for a cute, temporary tat? Or rather wear a wetsuit before you start burning your skin? [Skin-Italy.com]

• Looking back, we can learn a lot about love from Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. [Your Tango]—I like remembering Farrah as the “ultimate smiler.”
• Imitation of Christ designer Tara Subkoff has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. If not operated on, the tumor could kill her in two years. [The Cut]
• Kalpen Modi, better known as Kal Penn, now works at the White House as an associate director in the Office of Public Liaison, with a focus on connecting President Barack Obama with the Asian-American and Pacific Islander communities. [PopEater]—So that’s why he killed himself on “House.”

Dear Dr. Derm, forgive me for what I’m about to say.

So, yeah, “tan me” is way hotter than “pasty-and-pale me.”  (And by way hotter, I’m not intimating that I’m incredibly good-looking—or even a little good-looking—it’s about that little bit of bronze that balances out my sometimes ruddy skin, makes my hair look blonder without the $250 highlighting bill and let’s me walk out of the house with some Aquaphor on as lip gloss and nothing else). But, since tanning is universally known to cause bad stuff (hi, cancer), I refrain and instead hit the bottle.

Either way you go, the bottle tan or the UV-ray real thing, getting bronzed often produces the most brutal (and totally hilar) stories. To wit…

• We love clear accessories, but this Chanel bag is ridiculous. [My Fashion Life]
• Lindsay Lohan’s self-tanner, Sevin Nyne, debuts next month and counts caramel, sugar, coconut, Chardonnay and goji berries amongst the ingredients.  So if it doesn’t turn you Lilo Orange, at the very least you can expect to smell like one very weird bag of groceries. [Daily Mail]
• Rumor has it, Vogue‘s editor-in-chief, Anna Wintour, actually shook hands with the vice president of PETA, who has lobbed red paint and eggs at her and her fur-wearing ways for years. Is the end of the Israel-Palestine conflict next? [NY Post]

Because her line of leggings was so successful (ahem), Lindsay Lohan wants to bring her sense of style and beauty from winter and fall into spring and summer—that’s why she’s launching a line of sunless tanning lotions so you too can get that straight outta Long Island glow. Mom Dina and sister Ali are clearly fans, but would you rely on LiLo to find the right shade of adobe, coral, or russet to give you that “just spent the weekend in Cabo” look? [Stylelist]

[All Photos: Splash News]

When I heard that VP-nominee Sarah Palin installed a tanning bed in the Governor’s Mansion in Alaska, I was simultaneously amused and appalled. But Palin isn’t alone. There are tons of celebrities who are STILL fans of visiting the tanning salon despite all the research which shows how dangerous the practice is—of course, some of them do indulge in the much safer spray-tanning craze, as well. Either way, the color their skin turns is hardly what you’d consider…flattering or particularly natural and healthy-looking. Check out the color samples above—those are the actual skin colors of celebrities like Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and Paris Hilton—with the imaginary names I’d give them if they actually bottled it in fake tanner formula.  Check out all the celebrities with an obsession for having a bronze glow, after the jump…

I give up. I totally have given into Blayne and have decided that he’s as lovable and funny as a puppy that’s just learning how to walk, but occasionally has accidents in your apartment that make you hate him for a couple minutes. Maybe it’s that we both have an addiction to being tan, though I gave up the booth years ago in favor laying out on my roof deck and slathering on bottled self-tanner. (May I recommend, by the way, that Blayne use a bronzer for African-American women in between tanning booth sessions? It’s my secret.) In any case, Blayne is just one of the many Project Runway contestants this season that seems to be competing to coin the show’s next catchphrase rather than to win the title of Top Designer—after all, “fierce hot tranny mess” is worn the hell out, and Blayne’s “holla atcha boy” is desperate to take its place. While we’re not convinced it’s bankable enough, it’s certainly better than Suede’s desire to make his own name—spoken constantly in third person—the next big utterance on reality TV. Amelia does not like Suede, she does not like Suede at all.

If you’ve seen the video of Amy Winehouse smoking from a crack pipe, you might think she would get addicted to anything—drugs, teasing hair, and, now, tanning. Apparently she’s spending hours in her tanning bed, even falling asleep while soaking up the UV light. Amy, if you don’t want pale skin, stores everywhere sell a thing called “self tanner.” [AHN]

Two teenage girls were seriously injured when they were hit by a freight train in Lebanon, Maine. The two apparently were sunbathing on the train trestle when they were hit. One of the girls suffered an amputated ankle while the other’s leg was amputated just below the knee. Police aren’t sure why the girls didn’t hear the train coming, but as a seasoned tanner, I suspect the heavy duty smell of baby oil lulled them into a Vitamin D coma. Happens all the time to me, that’s why I tan on my roof, not in the middle of the freeway. [WMUR.com]