I guess when the sex tape thing didn’t pull through, Tanning Mom, my muse, had to come up with another way to stay in the spotlight. What about her biopic starring her? I’m dying for that! Anyhow, Patty Krentcil decided to hit the recording studio and cut her first single, “It’s Tan Mom!” The truth is, I don’t care why she’s releasing her new single, just that she is. The track, which begins with Tanning Mom channeling her inner Britney Spears (“It’s Tan Mom, bitch!”) is due out on iTunes May 6. That should pretty much be the best day of my life. Until then, I guess I’ll have to listen to other ill-conceived singles released by people desperate to extend their 15 minutes. I don’t include Reality TV stars in this category because they ALL try their hand at a music career. My two exceptions are Danielle Staub and Courtney Stodden because I have love for those cray bitches. After the jump, some of my favorite never-were-celebrity songs. [AU News] Keep reading »
Tanning Mom is ready to ditch the bows and get down to business. TMZ obtained an email sent by Patricia Krentcil to Vivid Entertainment’s president, Steve Hirsch, shamelessly propositioning him to produce her sex tape:
“I see you are trying to buy this sex tape from this Teen Mom. Well, if you REALLY want to make more MONIES, then I would agree to let you film me and all my hotness … I am far MORE popular and WAY HOTTER than Farrah! Men want a cougar and a real woman, not a teenybopper … Contact me back if you’re ready to talk serious cash and rock the world.”
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My obsession with Tanning Mom Patricia Krentcil grows stronger with every passing public appearance. Her latest is this gem of a TMZ interview where she responds to New Jersey’s newly instated “Tan Mom Law,” which requires anybody under the age of 17 to have a parent or legal guardian present when using a tanning bed. In addition, it requires the legal guardian and underage tanner sit through a consultation together about the risks of tanning. Also, it states that children under the age of 14 can’t get a spray tan. (What are all those “Toddlers & Tiaras” contestants going to do?) Keep reading »
Well, isn’t this is the bit of meta movie news wonderfulness I’ve been waiting for all my life? Tanning Mom, otherwise known as Patricia Krentcil, told In Touch magazine that there’s a biopic in the works about her life. I know! That’s amazing. But it gets way better. Guess who’s starring in “Tanning Mom: The Movie”? Nope, not Kristen Wiig, although that would be highly entertaining.
“I’ll star — It’s going to portray everything that’s happen,” Krentcil said. Keep reading »
New Jersey isn’t quite as fun when you’ve been banned from the local tanning salons. So Tanning Mom Patricia Krentcil is doing what any UV-ray worshipper would do: she’s considering packing up her suntan oil and moving to the UK. The New York Daily News reports that our most embarrassing cultural export since the “Jersey Shore” cast went to Italy wants to move to London for “a new style of life,” presumably one where not everyone knows you got arrested for bringing your fair-haired five-year-old to a tanning salon and then fell over drunk on a red carpet. Or maybe she just needed to evade “My Strange Addiction” producers pounding down her front door. Either way, I just wonder why Tanning Mom didn’t choose a locale closer to the equator … [NYMag.com]
This “Tanorexic” action figure, made by toy company Herobuilders.com, turned out to be their hottest selling item of 2012. No surprise there. Because of legal reasons, they couldn’t make the doll in the exact likeness of Tanning Mom Patricia Krentcil, but, we get it. All she needs is a bow. I have to get it off my chest: I’m really disappointed that my birthday AND Christmas passed and I DID NOT receive this as a gift. Come on, people! It was only $29.95. Does nobody love me? Does nobody know me? It’s not too late. [NY Daily News]
Dumb people come and go every year, and 2012 was no different. The past 12 months saw some epic stupidity, and not just from famous generals who had affairs with their biographers, men still dating the women who bit off their testicles, or the CEO who oversaw the death of the Twinkie. We have those folks, and 17 more.
Who else made the cut of our 20 Dumbest People of 2012? Find out!
Sometimes everything in the universe just aligns and, in one day, all your dreams come true. Today, the world brought me FORKLIFT FOOT and TANNING MOM AT A DRAG SHOW. I am a lucky, lucky human being. I am very grateful, internet gods. Very grateful.
Behold this video of Tanning Mom Patrcia Krentcil as the guest of honor at Hell’s Kitchen’s XL Hot Mess Drag Review last night. Yes, she is wearing a red, acrylic number that exposes her biscuit. No, she didn’t take her daughter tanning. (She mentions that a number of times.) Yes, she is highly intoxicated on white wine, no red wine, no Pinot Grigio. Just like Ramona Singer. And NO, I don’t think she liked the joke about her, Snooki and Big Ang in a hot tub being called “Gorillas in the Mist.”
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Some very important news in the world of tan-ness: Patricia Krentcil, better known as Tanning Mom, has announced that she will STOP tanning. In an exclusive interview with In Touch, Tanning Mom said that she wants the chance to “rehabilitate her image by staying out of the sun (real and artificial) for an entire month.” While Tanning Mom acknowledges that “nothing is forever,” she knows that she is “sick of talking about tanning.” NOOO! I mean, I’m happy for her potentially pre-cancerous skin, but I want her to keep talking about tanning. I was just starting to understand her and now she’s gone. Sadz. I think she’ll need a hobby while she’s on her tanning hiatus. Something to keep her busy (and me occupied). Some ideas for Tanning Mom after the jump. Keep reading »
The Internet is buzzing with some astonishing news! Patricia Krentcil, otherwise known as Tanning Mom, used to be HOT. Yes, we all know she is sizzling hot from her five-times-a-week tanning sessions. No, I mean she used to be a babe. Some old photos of Tanning Mom have surfaced, and apparently TM was a bikini model. She also has a porcelain, fresh-faced complexion. No word how old she is in the pics, but I’d say in her 20s. Krentcil is now 44, but appears a lot older, probably as a result of all that tanning.
If you don’t believe that the sun can destroy your skin, take a look at this guy. It appears the left side of his face is melting. However, it’s because he was a truck driver for 28 years. The left side of his face was constantly exposed to the sun because of the window, but his right face remained in shadow. So one side of his face looks to be in its 60s, the other in its 80s! Read more …