When “Jersey Shore”‘s Deena Cortese was arrested for disorderly conduct and public drunkenness this past weekend, we discovered she was guilty of another offense: Crazy tan lines. How did she get that design on her butt? Also, why was she wearing slippers in public? And cuddling with a giant stuffed animal? I guess we’ll have to wait until next season to find out how the meatball ended up in such hot sauce. I’m already suspecting that she is feeling the pressure to fill Snooki’s shoes now that she’s pregnant. Meaning … SOBER. Click through to see more of the weirdest celebrity tan lines we’ve ever seen. [The Superficial]
Last summer, Mark Sanford wrote the following words to his mistress, Maria Belén Chapur:
“I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light—but hey, that would be going into sexual details…”
I remember reading that and thinking: A) “Wow, this guy is a serious cheesmo,” and B) “Wait, he loves her tan lines?” It struck me as strange.
But in the past week, I’ve been hearing an awful lot about men fixating on tan lines. Keep reading »
As summer ebbs ever closer, they start popping up everywhere. Bright red, wincing, and trying (yet failing) to hide the tell-tale signs with cleverly applied makeup, there’s nothing more depressing than an early summer sunburn victim. Sure, we’ve all been there, but, somehow, we forget the terror of those tan lines and burned bums by the time June rolls around each year. In the interest of jogging your memory and preparing you for a SPF-filled summer, Frisky staff members and friends have valiantly offered up their sunburn horror stories.
Keep reading »
I’ve never really understood all the hoopla with tan lines because everyone has had some at some point, and we all know what causes them. But manufacturer Kiniki has developed a solution to all the maneuvering that goes into line-free tanning on a non-nude beach. Swimsuits in the Tan Through line are made of Transol yarn, a synthetic material with tiny holes similar to a fishing net. The holes allow about 80-percent of sunlight to pass through to reach the skin. The fabric is see-through when held up to the light, but when worn, the patterned or brightly-colored fabric supposedly plays tricks on the eye so the wearer’s modesty is protected. Kiniki offers Tan Through one-piece swimsuits, bikinis, and wraps for women, and briefs, hipsters, and tangas for men, for a price range of £17.43 to £34.68 (about $28 to $57).
Chances are that if a man is ballsy (heh) enough to wear a tanga in public, why not just go one step further and take it all off. As for the ladies, I think these crazy-patterned, high-leg suits are just too reminiscent of Hollywood Beach-in-Miami-circa-1991 to be pulled of stylishly here in the 21st-Century. Oh yeah, and aren’t UV rays way bad for you? I think we need more sun protection for better skin, not less clothing for bad skin…and bad fashion. [The Daily Mail] Keep reading »