I got my first period when I was 12, right before I turned 13. I, of course, felt like I was the last one. My friends Annie and Sarah both got their periods before me and, I swear, it bonded them in a way that made me insanely jealous. I wanted blood to flow out of my vagina too! I wanted Wil Wheaton to respond to my fan mail and I wanted to be a woman, dammit. Then my period arrived and, wouldn’t ya know, it was decided less glamorous than I had thought. Wearing a pad (my hippie mom was never down with tampons, so I had to discover those on my own a few years later) felt like a diaper and looked like one too underneath the leotard I wore to my dance classes. As an adult I’m lucky to have really, really mild cramps, but HOLYMOTHEROFCHRIST, as a teenager, every month it felt like someone was digging out my uterus with a spoon. And, gather round y’all and joins hands, because I would like for us to take a moment to remember all of the panties — so. many. panties. — that have been lost to our menstrual cycles. Hell, I’ve lost a few pairs of pants too. And a shirt once. Don’t ask. Keep reading »
Do you know how many times I’ve heard the phrase “dick cheese”? So many times. Countless times. “Period goobers”? Not so much. It’s time to change this, y’all.
Dudes get to talk about their balls and penises in public all the friggin’ time. They’re so used to being able to talk openly about their dicks that many of them have come to believe that talking about their dicks is an acceptable way to flirt. And balls — blue balls, ball-busting, having things by the balls, having the balls to do stuff — fucking testicles are pervasive in our lives.
I propose changing this by going all-in and talking about our periods openly and graphically. We talk about penises so much that pretty much everyone has a working knowledge about penises and the things they do and go through. Let’s get real real about our vaginas and our lady times. We’ve made penises into sort of lovably comical objects, and it’s time we did the same for poon. I’ll get the ball rolling (SO TO SPEAK): Keep reading »
I have a distinct memory of being 12 years old and seeing one of my closest girl friends go off to huddle with another girl at school. “What were you talking about?” I asked her later. “Oh, we both just got our periods so….” she explained, her voice trailing off in such a way that indicated that I just couldn’t understand. I was so jealous, dying to be part of their special menstrual club. Of course, when my period finally arrived for the first time a few months later, I was horrified and burst into tears. Ahhh, hormones! This ad for Hello Flo — makers of menstrual care packages — does such a perfect job capturing the confusion of puberty, where all you want is your period … until you finally get it, that is. [YouTube]
I don’t know about you, but my monthly period never comes out looking like the watery blue liquid seen in every tampon and maxi pad commercial. What if those ads actually used red dye instead of blue to more accurately reflect the color of, you know, PERIOD BLOOD? The funny folks at Upright Citizens Brigade went there. I appreciate the slightly thicker consistently too. Very true-to-life. [via Gawker]
Well you can get just about everything else delivered to your door, why NOT tampons?
I think it’s safe to say we’ve all been there, right? Out of tampons just when you need one the most, ie, Aunt Flo has arrived. I make it a point to always keep one in my purse just in case I, or a friend, needs one but being left in the lurch does happen. So it’s actually surprising it took so long for a tampon subscription service to pop up. Actually, there’s three. Read more …
Last week, British dude Richard Neill had his mind blown when he realized that maxi pad commercials do not tell the truth: “As a child I watched your advertisements with interest as to how at this wonderful time of the month the female gets to enjoy so many things, I felt a little jealous,” he wrote on the Facebook page for Bodyform Maxi Pads. “I mean, bike riding, rollercoasters, dancing, parachuting, why couldn’t I get to enjoy this time of joy and ‘blue water’ and wings?”
Now in a genius move, Bodyform has responded to Richard with a message from their (fake) CEO and it’s very well done. Good call on that blue water. [YouTube]