Tag Archives: taco bell

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Posted A Craigslist Ad For Someone To Take Him On A Taco Bell Run During The Blizzard

Dear Taco Dude,

First of all, I’d like to let you know that I feel your pain. While you were weathering the blizzard in Baltimore, I was also snowed in and hungry in New York City. It sucks to have a “shItty little hybrid douchemobile” that won’t make it to your neighborhood Taco Bell when it’s “snowing like a bitch outside” (not to mention the “few drinks too many” you’d thrown back), but dude, put yourself in my snow boots! Not only did I not have a ride in last night’s storm, I don’t own a car and getting a taxi in NYC would have been like an act of God. My hungry ass had to huff it, through the snowdrifts and gusts of icy wind, to the local bodega for whatever scraps I could find. A sad turkey sandwich. No tacos for me. Keep reading »

Debate This: Okay, So What’s The Big Deal About Horse Meat?

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For the past couple of weeks, there’s been a major scandal brewing, regarding the use of horse meat in food products that were advertised as beef. Horse meat was found in meatballs at Ikea (the company says only its European stores); at British Taco Bells; and some meat in supermarket freezers in Ireland and Britain.

For me, it seemed like not really a big deal. As you all probably know by now, I’m a self-righteous vegan (that was sarcastic). I’ve been vegetarian for more than 20 years and vegan just this past year, and so my perspective is “meat is meat is meat.” As someone who doesn’t equivocate when it comes to animals, for me, eating pigs or cows is just as absurd as eating horses or, I don’t know, pegacorns. So when I saw people freaking out about the idea that horse meat might be in their tacos and gourmet Ikea Swedish meatballs (and seriously, those meatballs are likely made of equal parts horse and particle board), I was like whaaaaa? Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Handcuffed Himself To A Taco Bell Employee He Fancied

Be My BF: Gassy Chef
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Be My BF: Mobile Office
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Be My BF: Panty Thief
This man's passion in life is stealing women's underwear. Read More »

Dear Jason Earl Dean,

I understand that this week a judge sentenced you to four years in prison for handcuffing yourself to a woman who wouldn’t go out with you. Apparently, her Taco Bell coworkers heard her screaming, and rushed outside to find you cuffed to this woman. When they approached, you let her go. According to reports, you’d been asking her out for like, a month, so I’m sure it seemed like a perfectly logical thing to do at the time — because life is a Dane Cook rom-com. Keep reading »

Doritos Taco Is Taco Bell’s Biggest Hit Ever

You may have scoffed when Taco Bell unveiled its Doritos Locos Taco—a taco wrapped in a Nacho Cheese Doritos-flavored shell—but the masses apparently love it, because it’s become Taco Bell’s most successful launch ever. More than 200 million have been sold since March, leading to a much-needed boost in revenue for the fast food chain. Read more …

Today In Terribleness: Woman Attempts To Sell Baby At Taco Bell

A woman in Washington was arrested for allegedly making a run to the border with her three-day-old son. Officials responded when they received a 911 call reporting that 36-year-old Heidi-Lynn Knowles had approached a patron at the local Taco Bell and tried to sell her a baby for $500. The woman and her infant were located by cops at a local motel, where the child was immediately taken into custody. I know Taco Bell has a value menu and all, but whether it was birther’s remorse or a desire for drug money, Knowles should have been asking way more for her baby burrito. In all seriousness, WHAT? Let’s hope this sweet baby is placed in a loving home soon. [Seattle Times] Keep reading »

Breaking News! Taco Bell Will Make You Skinny!

Goddamn do I love Taco Bell’s 7 Layer Burrito. Cheese and beans and beef and sour cream and hot sauce and oh-so-much-more wrapped in a nutritionless flour tortilla … mmm mmmmmm! It has been, oh, three years since I had one of these hot pockets of deliciousness because Taco Bell, my friends, is straight-up NASTY for your insides. I know, because a guy I had a crush on in college worked at one and he told me that the beef comes in liquid form and since then I only ate TB on “special” occasions, i.e., occasions in which I did not mind having The D for a few hours afterward. But why am I telling you all this? Because the lady above, Christine, says you can actually lose weight by regularly including items on TB’s Fresco menu in your diet. Girl, don’t play that. Keep reading »

R.I.P.: Gidget The Taco Bell Chihuahua Enters Doggie Heaven

Tear. Gidget the Chihuahua, famous for her manly utterance, “Yo quiero, Taco Bell,” in the chain’s commercials (watch one after the jump), has died at the age of 15. “She made so many people happy,” Gidget’s trainer, Sue Chipperton, told People. “[She] always knew where the camera was.” On the one hand, this is sad, because it is ALWAYS SAD when dogs die. But on the other hand, 15 is a good ol’ age for a dog and Chihuahuas are known for living longer than certain other breeds. Gidget certainly had an exciting life. Also, I’m pretty sure my dog Lucca is part Chihuahua, so that hopefully means I have plenty of time to clone her. [People] Keep reading »

Couple Weds At Taco Bell

A couple in Illinois ran for the border recently when they mistook Taco Bell for wedding bells. Caragh and Paul Brooks got engaged on New Year’s Eve and because they like Taco Bell so much, they decided to get married there. The bride wore a $15 hot pink dress, employees decorated the restaurant with streamers and balloons, and a friend of the couple was ordained online and administered the vows while wearing a T-shirt. “It’s appropriate,” groom Paul Brooks said. “It’s an offbeat relationship.” The couple met on a dating site when Caragh Brooks was still living in Australia and Paul was in Illinois. Excited that they already shared the same last name (no fees for a name change!!), the couple emailed back and forth and talked on the phone for 9 months before Caragh moved to the states. “We have the same brain, just in two bodies,” Paul Brooks said. (Um, is that like having half a brain each? ). “We think alike in virtually every manner. We have the same interests, viewpoints.” Those same interests include, it seems, Taco Bell and cheap weddings. The entire cost of the ceremony was $200, which begs the question: just how many Double Decker Tacos did guests munch on? [9News.com] Keep reading »

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