Now that the holidays are over, we’re expected to actually work on our New Year’s resolutions. Whatever they may be, the tabloids are here to help. Oh, you wanted to lose weight? Here are a bunch of celebrities in bikinis making you feel like a slob! Want to spend less time gossiping about people? Well, don’t worry; it’s perfectly innocent to read gossip about people, instead. And in case you wanted to save some money this year, we’ll save you $21.02 in weekly tabloid costs by hand-picking the most interesting stories, just for you! Keep reading »
How you define today really says a lot about your personality. It’s a Rorschach Test, if you will. There are some of you who are no doubt thinking about today as Christmas Eve Eve day. There are others who are no doubt excited because it’s the last full work day before a break. But then there are those of you who will see today for what it really is—tabloid release day! After the jump, we’ve rounded up the most interesting and obviously 200 percent true stories from this week’s tabloids. Almost all of this week’s crop are double issues. Hey, even gossip-slingers (I say it like I’m not one) need a holiday vacay.
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There are nine days until Christmas. I don’t know if you understand what that means in tabloid time, but I’m going to tell you anyway: There is going to be a huge push to make something significant happen in Hollywood. We’re talking love, people. In the next two weeks, major love will be happening in the tabloids, and maybe even in reality too. And because you maybe only care just enough to read this blog, we’ve read all the tabloids for you and compiled the SparkNotes-style version here. Live, learn, and love, people. And Happy Kwanznakkuhsmas!
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It’s hump day again and since it’s the holiday season, we wish goodwill towards men. Except when those men go around shtupping a dozen ladies on the side, breaking hearts, and impregnating uteruses. And just so we always know who the bad guys are, we scrounge up all the totally, kinda true rumors about everyone and lay it out for your amusement, one tabloid at a time. These are the days of our lives, people. Keep reading »
Presumably, you’ve survived Thanksgiving. You probably ran into some drama or into some pie, but either way, by now you’re hungry for a slice of this week’s gossip, because celebrity drama is so much more calorie dense than the standard variety. Just for you, we’ve carved out the best bite-sized stories from this week’s tabloids. Eat ‘em up, after the jump. Keep reading »
Since Thanksgiving is a holiday about giving thanks, take a minute today to thank Hollywood for providing us with an endless supply of drama—no matter how slow the news week. And it must have been limping this week—all of the tabloids took up valuable gossip space with gift guides. Still, there’s lots of stories to share. So grab some mashed potatoes and take a minute to catch up on the super true goings-on of celebrity world. Keep reading »
It’s Wednesday, and is it just me, or has work been especially hard as we head towards the calorific holiday season? Just be glad that you won’t be critiqued by millions on your pecan pie-induced weight gain, and when you get too drunk at the office party, you won’t have to read about it on the cover of a magazine the next day. Celebrities aren’t so lucky. But their pain is our gain because their (possibly fictional) dramas are usually more interesting than anything we could make up on our own. And because we love you so much, we’ve read every tabloid that came out today and hand-picked the juiciest stories. Enjoy! Keep reading »
Happy Hump Day! You’ve been working really hard all morning so it’s probably time for a break … from reality. Tabloids are an important tool for participating in some healthy childhood make-believe. This week Angelina Jolie donned the covers of four tabloids, so let’s prepare for the inevitable showdown—who will win Brad’s heart? Only one way to find out! We’ve conveniently extracted those stories and more that you would have cared about if you were shameless enough to read tabloids yourself. Keep reading »
It’s hump day again, and while you might not be taking advantage of your opportunity to “hump” today, it’s safe to assume that the stars are busy enough for the rest of the population — at least if you think everything you read is true! Once again, we’ve hand-plucked the juiciest tabloid stories for your media consumption, so take it with several grains of salt, and eat it up! Keep reading »
Oh sweet Wednesdays, alleviating the happy hangovers of last weekend and preparing us for the crazy times that will be this weekend’s Halloween candy-corn binge. Just like the neighborhood kids, your favorite celebrities are also playing make-believe — although not voluntarily — in the pages of this week’s tabloids. Once again, we’ve compiled the super true-ish stories from this week’s ‘bloids for your unembarrassed perusal. Enjoy, cause this week’s are pretty major. Keep reading »