Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I’m already drunk. Kidding, of course. Just because today is almost a national holiday, kind of, does not mean that celebrities get the day off from our constant surveillance. Au contraire, mon frere—today is just like any other Wednesday except with more green. And to help you save some of that green to buy more drinks later, we’ve already bought all today’s tabloids and found the best stories for you. Isn’t that super nice of us? Keep reading »
Another week, another round of rumors. Thank goodness we had the Oscars this weekend to bring everyone together in one place, creating a breeding ground for drama! It’s inevitable when you put all the beautiful people together that something sexy will happen. Because we’re so generous, we took out the hard part of reading the tabloids yourself. We’ve plucked the best stories for you, after the jump. We wouldn’t want you to get ink on your fingertips or anything. Keep reading »
Every Wednesday, the tabloids bring tragedy, intrigue, and lust into our lives. It’s kind of like modern-day soap operas, only instead of fictional story lines or made-up characters, they’ve cast celebrities you already know and love and pretend that it’s all 100 percent true. And since reality television has taken over for scripted drama, but real life is kinda boring, writers are forced to cook up dynamic story lines, and the line between what’s real and what’s fake is increasingly blurry. I’m not sure if gifting you with the most important stories is helping or hindering in our inevitable demise, but we are all just part of the system. So enjoy the tabs while you can. After the jump, this week’s big stories.
As the new year settles into same-old, same-old, the tabloids once again grasp for insights into celebrity lives. The weight loss, the weight gain, the cheating, lying, engagements, reunions, and insanity riddles the flimsy pages. These are the all-important “facts” you need to know until next week, when a new set of tabloids arises, like a glorious Phoenix from the flames of a million reputations set ablaze. Luckily, you can get the big stories here every week and remain untarnished by the massacre … Keep reading »
Hopefully, you’ve all recovered from your presumably dramatic Valentine’s Days and are ready to start preparing for the only slightly less romantic St. Patrick’s Day. Meanwhile, Hollywood is always reeling with cheating, lies, rehab, and loose lips and the tabloids represent the ever-present Big Brother. And because it makes you feel dirty to acknowledge you care, we’ve gathered the juiciest tidbits for your consumption. Enjoy! Keep reading »
We’re mere days away from Valentine’s Day and love is in the air! And by love, I mean baby daddies! Philanderers had better start running because there are 9-irons with your names on them and the tabloids have made sure that none of you are safe. Besides the cheating, there are also a lot of bikinis in this week’s glossies. Mostly on Jennifer Aniston, thankfully. And because you only care just enough to read the covers in the grocery store line, we’ve rounded up the most important stories for you! Keep reading »
Happy hump day! It’s almost my least favorite holiday, Valentine’s Day, which means that love is in the air. This means that the tabloids are going crazy over star couplings and it’s starting to feel like musical chairs up in here. I know, it’s really hard to keep up. But this is why we do it for you! Once again, we’ve gathered the juiciest stories from this week’s tabloids so that you don’t have to leave the comfort of your home to be brainwashed versed in pop culture. Keep reading »
I don’t know how, but it’s Wednesday again. Time to head over to TGIW for some wings and beer and pretend there aren’t 2.5 more days left in the work week. And with all the excitement of award shows and new TV seasons starting up again, you might not have realized that celebrities have been creating little scandals for our amusement! Or, more accurately, that the tabloid writers have been racking their brains to find fictional ways to thrill us. And because you’re an adult who doesn’t have time to worry about such pettiness, we’ve done it for you by compiling the most interesting stories from all your favorite tabloids. You’re welcome. Keep reading »
Well, it’s a new decade and though the apocalypse might be upon us, it hasn’t happened yet. So, take solace in that and the fact that when the time does come, people will probably still be looking to celebrities instead of you. This week, the gang was up to all their usual hijinks and the tabloids were stalking them to make sure every minute detail was captured. And because we love you guys so much, we trolled through those inked pages to pull out the most interesting stories once again. Enjoy! Keep reading »
How’s 2010 going for you guys so far? I think it’s totally going to be the best year ever and I haven’t felt that way since … 2000? And it’s not just because everyone’s quitting their jobs, which means we have a better chance of stealing them. It’s not even because LiLo is super optimistic, which does actually help. It might be because no matter what you or I do wrong, we can feel assured that it probably won’t be broadcast in the tabloids. And just to be double sure, I’ve hand-picked the most interesting stories and if you’re not one of them, you’re all set! Hooray! Keep reading »
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