Posts tagged "tabloid cheat sheet"

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Nicole and Joel Married? Mary-Kate’s $900 Million Prenup?

Happy hump day! For this joyously slow news week, the tabloids were more random than ever, reminding us that no news is not reason enough to not print the news. Instead, it is reason enough to create something better than truth: intrigue. So, in an effort not to gather facts, but to create an eve…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / October 21, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Khloe’s Marriage Already Over? Jon Has His Eye On Kate’s Bestie?

It’s Wednesday again, and if you were lucky enough to get Columbus Day off, you probably didn’t even notice that the week is half over. Thankfully, we’re here to remind you that the best ‘bloids hit the newsstands today. Heaven forbid you actually pay for them, so we scooped them up in the wee hour…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / October 14, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Lamar Odom’s A Cheater? Letterman’s $300 Million Divorce?

It’s Wednesday, which means the week is half over and you’ve made it to hump day. But even more importantly, the new ‘bloids just hit newsstands. Lest you have to actually buy and read them cover to cover, we’ve perused each to bring you the juiciest, most fascinating stories. We’re sure each and every bit…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / October 7, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Justin Timberlake Ditched Jessica For Rihanna? Kirstie’s At The Fat Farm?

Another week, another Wednesday. This one, just like all the others before, is full of wonderment and speculation. That’s right. It’s tabloid time! The personal lives of celebrities have been reduced to poignant blurbs and glossy cover lines. We’ve read through all the magical pages of our favorite smack-talking ‘bloids and plum-picked the most interesting…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / September 30, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Oprah Winfrey’s A Liar? Jennifer Aniston Is Preggers?

It’s the middle of the week, your boss totally hates you (he/she’s such a jerk!), you forgot to Tivo “90210” last night, and the coffee machine is broken again. Your life totally sucks. Fear not! You will forget all the drama of your stress-infused life once you get a load of this week’s tabloid stories.

Amelia McDonell-Parry / September 23, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: RPatz And KStew Getting Hitched? Ali Lohan A Party Animal?

I don’t know about you guys, but this has already been the longest week ever and I could use a vacay. But since that’s out of the question, we’ll have to take a vacation with our minds. What better way to do that than indulge in some trashy tabloid drama? We did the dirty work…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / September 16, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Has Swayze Given Up Hope? Ellen Pompeo’s Cheating Husband?

It’s not even technically hump day since it’s a four-day week, so why are you even pretending you’re tired? To be fair, you blew too many brain cells on Labor Day weekend, and heaven knows you blew too many dollars. So save yourself from losing more of either by getting all your tabloid goo i…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / September 9, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: R-Patz And Kristen Engaged? Dean Mooching Off Tori?

It’s Wednesday, which means the week is half over and you’ve made it through hump day. But even more importantly, new ‘bloids just hit newsstands. Lest you have to actually buy them, here’s the juiciest and, uh, most ultra-true stories from each.

Ami Angelowicz / September 2, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Melanie Griffith & Brad Pitt Rehab Bound? Kendra & Kourtney Breastfeeding?

Just when you’ve eased into your week, the tabloids try to elbow their way in to distract you from your work. Look away! But you can’t. You must know who’s in love, who’s in rehab, and who’s having a much worse week than you. It’s only natural that you indulge in some guilty reading and…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / August 26, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: John Edwards’ Baby Mama, Kourtney’s Abortion Dilemma, Jon & Kate Plus Annoying

This week’s humpday brought on lots of, well, humping. If it’s not about baby daddys, baby mamas, or new relationships, it’s not in the tabloids this week. And let me remind you—it is the time of the season for loving. If you haven’t had a summer fling (or five), it’s time to claim yours and…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / August 19, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Palin’s Divorce, Britney’s Bod, And More “Bachelorette” Drama?

Ahh, humpday. Time to woman-up for the remainder of the week and take solace in the fact that while you have to be at work, the only people that care to gossip about you are hovering around the water cooler pointing at you right now. You could be famous and getting pummeled by the rumor…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / August 12, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Kelly Ripa’s Non-Boob Job? “The Bachelorette” Sleaze?

This week, the tabloids had a very diverse spattering of cover stories that dealt with more than just the usual suspects. No “Twilight” drama, no Jon and Kate—just fascinating leads about Kelly Ripa not getting a boob job and Dr. Phil maybe sexually abusing someone over two decades ago. So you don’t have to face…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / August 5, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Chelsea Clinton’s Marriage? Jon Gosselin’s Blossoming Love?

Oh hooray! The tabloids are out! It’s a great time for celebrity news because everyone’s breaking up and then humping each other’s legs. Or they’re going on revenge diets, or falling in love all over again. It’s like the birds and the bees, but the birds have stingers, too. Ahhh, I love Hollywood.

Amelia McDonell-Parry / July 29, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: A Kate And Hailey Cat Fight? Mischa’s Drug Binge?

Tabloids are kind of like elaborate ventures into fan-fiction. Basically, they watch celebrities and then pick and choose where the stories would go if they had their way. Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if these characters fell in love and had to fight for each other? Oh, this celeb is sick—let’s make it heroin! Thi…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / July 22, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Jessica And Nick Getting Back Together? Michael Jackson’s Death Video?

I think Wednesday is my favorite day of the week, ’cause once it’s over, it’s almost Friday, kinda. It’s also a great day because tabloids remind me that no matter how bad my life can be, at least no one cares about the trouble I’ve been getting into—unlike Jennifer, Jessica, and (Michael) Jackson. And they’re…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / July 15, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: RPatz & Kristen Stewart Breakup, Megan Fox & Shia LaBeouf Get Stoned

Several tabloids this week did Michael Jackson tribute issues, which is to be expected. But there’s so much other trashy celebrity drama that we need to catch up on! We’ve practically forgotten all about Jon and whatsherface or Rihanna and so-and-so. I never thought I’d say this, but I kinda need more diverse hubbub i…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / July 8, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Farrah’s Dying Wish, Michael’s “Murder,” And Kendra’s Wedding

As you might imagine, the tabloids—like every other popular culture venue out there—are flooded with new Michael Jackson conspiracies this week. It seems that they were so distracted with MJ that they decided to give their favorite usual victims—the Gosselins, Speidi, Jennifer Aniston—the week off. I bet they’re all feeling really good about themselves? We…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / July 1, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Jennifer Aniston And Bradley Cooper Are Dating! Brangelina Hides The Twins!

Awww, sweet hump day. We’re not too far from the week’s finish line. And thanks to these tabloids, there are still many new celebrity rumors to distract you briefly from your real life. So worry about famous people, at least until we find out there was nothing to worry about tomorrow. This week’s Tabloid Cheat…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / June 24, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Britney’s Getting Married And The Twilight Stars Find Love

It’s Wednesday once again. Which means that the tabloids are out, and there are oh so many stories on newsstands about your favorite celebrities that will inevitably blow your mind. Then tomorrow, you will hear that half of said stories are totally made up. Which is really half the appeal of tabloids, isn’t it, the…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / June 17, 2009

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Jen And Brad Getting It On? Robert Issues An Ultimatum To Kristen?

It’s Wednesday, which means the week is half over and you’ve made it through hump day. But even more importantly, new ‘bloids just hit newsstands. Lest you have to actually buy them, here’s the juiciest and, uh, most ultra true stories from each.

Amelia McDonell-Parry / June 10, 2009
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