Tag Archives: tabloid cheat sheet

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Michelle Obama Jealous Of Oprah? Angelina Being Committed?

It seems like the tabloids are fishing out of the same barrel for stories this week. Besides a few original news stories, they seemed to share identical trending topics. I’m pretty sure that all these tabloids work out of the same office and just pick their spin out of a hat. Some day, I’m going to Veronica Mars the crap out of them and they’ll all be sorry. But until then, I guess I’ll continue reading them cover-to-cover and delivering you only the most pertinent of information. Enjoy your tabloid tidbits! Keep reading »

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Sandra’s Baby Death Threats? Eddie Cheating On LeAnn?

With a weekend full of weddings, you’d think that the tabloids would’ve been glorified wedding albums, but instead it was another week of cheating scandals and drama. Basically, marriages are failing left and right and it seems silly to bother at all if this is the inevitable outcome. Sure, it could be the stresses of Tinseltown that have ruined these relationships, but just be glad you’re not reading these things cover-to-cover every week and losing faith in humanity like me. Just kidding! Kinda. Get psyched for this week’s tragedy, comedy and new love, collected from the periodical equivalent of reality television. Keep reading »

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Tiger Marrying Rachel? Angelina’s Heroin Binge Photos?

Tabloids might represent something detestable about modern society, but at the same time, they’re keeping alive one of the world’s oldest arts—storytelling. The weaving of a good tabloid story doesn’t happen easily, it requires snoops, narcs, tattle-tales, “friends” and sometimes a few white lies. Often, the story is drawn out to be as dramatic as possible, as with “The Bachelorette” rumors and the new tell-all about Angelina Jolie, which will apparently be revealed one chapter at a time. And sometimes stories just explode and, like mutant octopi, their arms breed new tales. This week, we present you once again with the best tales from some of the best storytellers around. Happy Tabloid Day! Keep reading »

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Oprah Was A Teenage Prostitute? Gore’s Masseuse Abuse Plot Thickens?

It’s a slow news week when the biggest stories are about bikini bodies and celebrities without makeup, but this week had some pleasant surprises as well. A certain husband-stealing vixen made some endearing remarks about her family to People, for instance. And friends and families voiced support for one loud-mouthed abusive anti-Semite and one ginger in jail. It might be interesting to do an entire Tabloid Cheat Sheet in code and see if you know who I’m talking about. The fact that this sounds like a good time to me might be reason enough to get out of the house more. Anyway, we rounded up some heart-warming moments and scary tabloid accusations this week for your perusal. Enjoy your sugar-coated tabloid num nums! Keep reading »

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Jennifer Has Kids? Mel Hit The Baby?

I’ve come to accept that I am now a gossiper. A few years ago, I’d never bought a tabloid and prided myself on not following reality television. And now whenever someone brings up a celebrity, I know at least 10 totally unimportant things about them—which makes it hard to keep my street cred. But celebrities are just like us, with problems and insecurities, which is mildly comforting when they appear so much more put-together. There are some pretty good little stories in this week’s tabloid batch. So gather ’round, and get ready for story time. Keep reading »

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Joel Cheating On Nicole? A Baby For Jessica Simpson?

It’s that time of year, just past spring fever, when all the baby rumors start. I guess the idea is that once the snow thawed, everyone started shacking up and doing the deed. So, it’s no surprise that this week’s tabloids are all baby dramas and alleged relationships, often simultaneously. I guess that’s why they call it hump day? And so you remain on top of all the news, we rounded up the juiciest gossip once again so that you don’t have to be bothered with paper cuts and inane “They’re Just Like Us” columns. Keep reading »

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Ali’s Nude Photo Scandal? The Travoltas’ Miscarriage Scare?

Even on a relatively slow news week, the tabloids always manage to come up with something and I guess I admire their perseverance. There will always be a celebrity somewhere, trying to lose weight, trying to overcome obstacles, and accidentally flashing some cellulite. The more I read the tabloids, the more I’m glad to not be famous. One of the magazines this week included a 10-page spread of stars’ body betrayals and wardrobe malfunctions, pointing out every little neck wrinkle. It reminds me of that Christmas song that goes, “Well, tonight thank God it’s them, instead of you.” So relax in your cozy computer chair, enjoy this condensed tabloid mess of news and be comforted by your anonymity. Hooray for that. Keep reading »

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Vienna Cheated And Jake’s A Monster? Britney’s Lesbian Crush On Her Therapist?

It’s been a funny week in Tabloid town now that The Frisky has officially joined the gossip game. Just a few hours after I inadvertently outed Vienna Girardi for her flirting with another dude this weekend, she and Jake announced their breakup. (Dear Gregory Michael, I’m sorry I blew your cover, I had no idea that you were actually hooking up with Vienna!) Now I realize I’ve done the opposite of what I wanted and put Vienna back in the tabloids. As punishment, I have to write about her again because it’s the main story in nearly every tabloid this week. Boo. After the jump, enjoy our roundup of this week’s totally maybe true tabloid news! xoxo, Gossip Girl Keep reading »

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: Prince William’s Fiance Preggers? Kate Gosselin’s New Man?

I don’t know what has gotten into Tinseltown, but this week’s tabloids are super hit-or-miss. And I think it’s safe to blame Brad Pitt‘s beard, or lack thereof. The theme of this week’s cheat sheet is forgiveness—the cheaters are begging at their ex-wives’ doorsteps Also, lots of pre-marital sex is still going on and everyone’s stressed about their bikini bodies. So that you don’t have to sift through the filler, we’ve got the good stuff right here for you. Enjoy! Keep reading »

Tabloid Cheat Sheet: ScarJo And Ryan Are Adopting? Ali Fedotowsky Got Fat?

This week, I had the pleasure of interacting with actual tabloid reporters at an MTV red carpet event. And they were kind of just like me, but more shrewd in the questions they asked. And more persistent in their asking. I watched one guy silently mouthing his questions while another one made sure she was in a better spot than a lesser news source. I was just happy to be there. And trying not to admit that I have read every tabloid, every week, for over a year. But I get it now: tabloids are like fanfic of famous people! And I’m like the mean forum manager who only posts the fanfic that I like. Enjoy your weekly dose of make-believe, my darlings! Keep reading »

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