It’s Wednesday, and is it just me, or has work been especially hard as we head towards the calorific holiday season? Just be glad that you won’t be critiqued by millions on your pecan pie-induced weight gain, and when you get too drunk at the office party, you won’t have to read about it on the cover of a magazine the next day. Celebrities aren’t so lucky. But their pain is our gain because their (possibly fictional) dramas are usually more interesting than anything we could make up on our own. And because we love you so much, we’ve read every tabloid that came out today and hand-picked the juiciest stories. Enjoy!

Happy Hump Day! You’ve been working really hard all morning so it’s probably time for a break ... from reality. Tabloids are an important tool for participating in some healthy childhood make-believe. This week Angelina Jolie donned the covers of four tabloids, so let’s prepare for the inevitable showdown—who will win Brad’s heart? Only one way to find out! We’ve conveniently extracted those stories and more that you would have cared about if you were shameless enough to read tabloids yourself.

It’s hump day again, and while you might not be taking advantage of your opportunity to “hump” today,  it’s safe to assume that the stars are busy enough for the rest of the population—at least if you think everything you read is true! Once again, we’ve hand-plucked the juiciest tabloid stories for your media consumption, so take it with several grains of salt, and eat it up!

Oh sweet Wednesdays, alleviating the happy hangovers of last weekend and preparing us for the crazy times that will be this weekend’s Halloween candy-corn binge. Just like the neighborhood kids, your favorite celebrities are also playing make-believe—although not voluntarily—in the pages of this week’s tabloids. Once again, we’ve compiled the super true-ish stories from this week’s ‘bloids for your unembarrassed perusal. Enjoy, cause this week’s are pretty major.

Happy hump day! For this joyously slow news week, the tabloids were more random than ever, reminding us that no news is not reason enough to not print the news. Instead, it is reason enough to create something better than truth: intrigue. So, in an effort not to gather facts, but to create an even better existence based on subtle hints and unnamed sources, we’ve read every tabloid and picked the most interesting stories to share with you.

It’s Wednesday again, and if you were lucky enough to get Columbus Day off, you probably didn’t even notice that the week is half over. Thankfully, we’re here to remind you that the best ‘bloids hit the newsstands today. Heaven forbid you actually pay for them, so we scooped them up in the wee hours of the morning, read them cover to glossy cover and picked out the most amazing, totally true (yeah, right) tidbits for you.

It’s Wednesday, which means the week is half over and you’ve made it to hump day. But even more importantly, the new ‘bloids just hit newsstands. Lest you have to actually buy and read them cover to cover, we’ve perused each to bring you the juiciest, most fascinating stories. We’re sure each and every bit is 115 percent true.

Another week, another Wednesday. This one, just like all the others before, is full of wonderment and speculation. That’s right. It’s tabloid time! The personal lives of celebrities have been reduced to poignant blurbs and glossy cover lines. We’ve read through all the magical pages of our favorite smack-talking ‘bloids and plum-picked the most interesting tidbits. Now if only they were all true. Enjoy!

It’s the middle of the week, your boss totally hates you (he/she’s such a jerk!), you forgot to Tivo “90210” last night, and the coffee machine is broken again. Your life totally sucks. Fear not! You will forget all the drama of your stress-infused life once you get a load of this week’s tabloid stories. After the jump, we’ve compiled all the questionable headlines from this week’s crop of ‘bloids, so you can impress your water cooler friends and distract yourself from the follies of hump day.

I don’t know about you guys, but this has already been the longest week ever and I could use a vacay. But since that’s out of the question, we’ll have to take a vacation with our minds. What better way to do that than indulge in some trashy tabloid drama? We did the dirty work and packaged the headlines in short, easy-to-read blurbs, cause we like you that much!

It’s not even technically hump day since it’s a four-day week, so why are you even pretending you’re tired? To be fair, you blew too many brain cells on Labor Day weekend, and heaven knows you blew too many dollars. So save yourself from losing more of either by getting all your tabloid goo in one go, cause we’ve picked the most important cover stories from all the grainiest of tabloids. Enjoy!

It’s Wednesday, which means the week is half over and you’ve made it through hump day. But even more importantly, new ‘bloids just hit newsstands. Lest you have to actually buy them, here’s the juiciest and, uh, most ultra-true stories from each.

Just when you’ve eased into your week, the tabloids try to elbow their way in to distract you from your work. Look away! But you can’t. You must know who’s in love, who’s in rehab, and who’s having a much worse week than you. It’s only natural that you indulge in some guilty reading and we’ve summed up the top stories so you don’t have to even leave your desk/house. You’re welcome.

This week’s humpday brought on lots of, well, humping. If it’s not about baby daddys, baby mamas, or new relationships, it’s not in the tabloids this week. And let me remind you—it is the time of the season for loving. If you haven’t had a summer fling (or five), it’s time to claim yours and get in some kissing under the boardwalk. And because you should be busy with your summer lovin’, I’m going to recap this week’s tabloids so you can’t use reading them as an excuse to stay in tonight.

Ahh, humpday. Time to woman-up for the remainder of the week and take solace in the fact that while you have to be at work, the only people that care to gossip about you are hovering around the water cooler pointing at you right now. You could be famous and getting pummeled by the rumor mill on a weekly basis! Here are the highlights from the tabloids this week.

This week, the tabloids had a very diverse spattering of cover stories that dealt with more than just the usual suspects. No “Twilight” drama, no Jon and Kate—just fascinating leads about Kelly Ripa not getting a boob job and Dr. Phil maybe sexually abusing someone over two decades ago. So you don’t have to face the embarrassment of hugging five tattered ‘bloids to your chest at the checkout counter, we found the stories you need to know. Well, maybe “need” is a strong word.

Oh hooray! The tabloids are out! It’s a great time for celebrity news because everyone’s breaking up and then humping each other’s legs. Or they’re going on revenge diets, or falling in love all over again. It’s like the birds and the bees, but the birds have stingers, too. Ahhh, I love Hollywood.

Tabloids are kind of like elaborate ventures into fan-fiction. Basically, they watch celebrities and then pick and choose where the stories would go if they had their way. Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if these characters fell in love and had to fight for each other? Oh, this celeb is sick—let’s make it heroin! This week, Mischa Barton‘s on drugs, Kate Gosselin and Jon’s new chickadee are clawing each other’s eyes out, Patrick Swayze had a heart attack (that one might be true), and Kristen Stewart is gonna sex it up to win back Robert Pattinson.

I think Wednesday is my favorite day of the week, ‘cause once it’s over, it’s almost Friday, kinda. It’s also a great day because tabloids remind me that no matter how bad my life can be, at least no one cares about the trouble I’ve been getting into—unlike Jennifer, Jessica, and (Michael) Jackson. And they’re not concerned with my ever expanding/decreasing waistline like Khloe. But I guess that’s why they get paid the big bucks, because by being famous, they’ve given up their rights to privacy and their right to not have me go through their trash. Sorry guys!

Several tabloids this week did Michael Jackson tribute issues, which is to be expected. But there’s so much other trashy celebrity drama that we need to catch up on! We’ve practically forgotten all about Jon and whatsherface or Rihanna and so-and-so. I never thought I’d say this, but I kinda need more diverse hubbub in my life (no offense MJ), so thank goodness this week hit a few of our favorite drama mongers.