When I first set out to write about swinging for an article about the lifestyle, the last thing I expected was to find myself nodding when a slim, curly-haired brunette asks if she may take off my panties. It’s a windy Friday night and I’m in a cozy, apartment-style swing club in Midtown Manhattan, my short, cherry-red dress folded down to my waist—all in the name of research, of course. The bartender, a curvy blonde, leans over to kiss me.

If you’re thinking of taking a swing at it, being prepared is key if you don’t want your first time at a sex club to be your last.

Establish Ground Rules. Before stepping foot in a club—especially if you’re going with a significant other—know your limits. A few weeks before my first swing club outing, Tom, the polyamorous married blogger behind Polyamorously Perverse stressed to me the importance of knowing what you can and can’t handle. “It’s one thing to imagine it, and it’s another to actually confront it,” he warned. “If you and your boyfriend are at a swingers club with another couple, and she puts his cock in her mouth, are you going to freak out?” Point taken.

“My boyfriend wants to start swinging. He says it has been something he’s wanted to do for a long time. It has nothing to do with being bored with our sex life, but he feels it could add a new dimension to the way we have sex and love each other. I trust him and I feel that it’s great he can be open about his sexual fantasies with me, but I don’t want to do it. I’m a Capricorn; he’s an Aquarius. I think with diseases out there, it sounds unsafe. He won’t do it without me, but I know he’ll be upset if I didn’t say yes. How can we both be happy?” —At A Standstill

Couples in Hollywood seem to have a 99% divorce rate. But it’s those rare few who can keep it together. Like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith. How do they do it? According to MSN, the prince says he can get fresh with whomever he wants, so long as he doesn’t rub it in Jada’s face later. And Jada can do who she wants too, he allegedly told Reveal magazine.  Supposedly they both decided back at the beginning of their 11-year relationship not to stifle their natural attraction to other people. Free Will-y! The Reveal interview is said to reveal that the couple even stipulated their polyamory in their wedding vows, dropping out “forsaking all others” and replacing it with a “just keep quiet about the others” clause. So ladies, if you want the Hancock, you might be in luck.  Don’t let that pesky gold band around his finger stop you! [MSN Australia]

One of the upcoming shows getting lots of buzz is Swingtown on CBS—I don’t think it has an official release date yet, but I’m psyched. The show centers around couples in the 1970’s who are into swinging—i.e. partner swapping. How did a show like this end up on CBS? It is produced by the same director behind HBO juggernauts Big Love and Rome and you would think that a show so much about, you know, sex, would be better suited for a network that allows nudity. But producer Mike Kelley says, “I actually think the shackles of having to show more explicit things every week to week to week on cable would have been far more constricting.” Uh, yeah. Whatever, we’ll be watching…and wishing for some nipple, I’m sure. [NY Times via Boinkology]

Figuring out whether or not you’re a swinger doesn’t seem like it would be all that difficult. There’s not really any gray area: Either you are, or you aren’t. So if you find yourself relating to a few of the “100 Signs You May Be a Swinger” but don’t consider yourself a swinger, there can be other explanations…
3. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers why you can’t go out with them this weekend. You have lame coworkers.

29. You don’t think twice about wearing a short skirt, high heels, and fishnets when there is three feet of snow on the ground. You are a hooker, a drag queen, or a sorority girl.

79. Making it an early night means getting home before 3 a.m. You are under 30 and live in New York City.

87. You’re at the market, and the only things in your basket are condoms, breath mints, and Red Bull. You are Britney Spears.

99. You spent twice as long on your online profile than you did on your resume. You are in your 20s. [Kasidie]