Don’t let the shitty weather fool you. According to most major women’s clothing purveyors, it is bathing suit season. Maybe it’s on account of it being “Spring Breakers” all over the place (“sprang break! sprang break! sprang break!”), but a surprising portion of this year’s swimsuits seem to be rather tickety-tackety. But don’t take our word for it! Click through to see some of the fringiest, funniest and deeply unappealing swimwear of 2013.
Tag Archives: swimsuits
Must Haves: Retro Swimsuits For Every Shape
We’ve been so happy to see the huge variety of swimsuits available today (remember when everyone had to choose between a string bikini or an old lady one piece?), and we’re especially excited about the resurgence of retro style swimsuits. Here are 10 fabulous options in every size, shape, and color, guaranteed to make you look like a 50s film star lounging poolside. Just add cat eye sunglasses, a wide brim hat, and a cabana boy to fetch you a Mai Tai!
Sofia Vergara On The Tragedy Of American Bathing Suits
“I was like, What is that? It’s like a diaper. It’s terrible. Who can look good in that? When I moved to the United States, I used to have bathing suits brought up from Colombia. There’s nothing slutty about a dental-floss bikini. You don’t even think about it. The first bathing suit your mother buys you is in the shape of a triangle.”
– Sofia Vergara tells Esquire about her shock and confusion when confronted with American swimsuits, which are positively puritan compared to the preferred styles in Colombia. [via A-Line]
Ask The Man Panel: The Semi-Formal Swimsuit
This plaid necktie bikini (available on Etsy for $79) is either the most formal swimsuit ever or the least formal business casual outfit in history. It’s giving me a pretty severe bout of cognitive dissonance. How does the Man Panel feel about it? Read on to find out…
Not All Cats Hate Water
These swimsuits from Australian fashion house We Are Handsome prove that not all cats shirk away from taking a dip in the pool. [We Are Handsome] Keep reading »
Do Not Want: Grandma’s Attic Swimsuit
From the horrific wood paneling to the kitschy plastic heart belt buckle, this swimsuit is a dead ringer for my grandma’s attic. The major difference? My grandma used to pay me $2 to help organize her attic, but this swimsuit will run you $120. I think I’ll pass. [via ModCloth]
P.S. Click here for some modern one-piece suits that could be described with adjectives like “fun” and “cute” instead of “grandma’s attic-y.” Keep reading »
A Chic Summer Suit
The second the weather is warm enough to warrant wearing the occasional pair of flip-flops, we start daydreaming about the beach. That means fantasizing about what we’ll wear while frolicking in the frigid waves of the Atlantic. We’ve got our eyes on this hot little retro-ish number from J. Crew which has the lovely sounding name of “Plumeria.” We plan on donning this adorable suit with a straw fedora and big glamour girl shades — and a high SPF, of course. Summer, hurry your ass up!
[$125.00
J. Crew]
An Imagined Conversation With This Amphibious Model
Me: Did you take swimming lessons when you were a kid?
Model: Sure did.
Me: Did you like them? Keep reading »
