• Sharon Osbourne goes mean on the radio with “Opie & Anthony” while talking about “Britain’s Got Talent” sweetheart, Susan Boyle, saying she’d been hit “with the ugly stick.” [Popeater]—Oy. Seriously, lacking grace, Sharon.
• Shakespeare is coming back to the big screen with another new face. Gerard Butler and Ralph Fiennes will perform in “Coriolanus,” a play that’s hardly ever assigned in high school English. [EW]—My nerd excitement is telling me to go!
• Celebrity chameleons have consumed copious calories, forsworn makeup, worn fake noses, and (horror!) gone brunette for good roles. Reminisce over their many changes in this gallery of faces, from Mariah Carey in “Precious” to Oprah in “Beloved.” [Us Weekly]—Mariah Carey is completely unrecognizable with her natural hair and face.

In the furor over the surprisingly glam Susan Boyle Harper’s Bazaar pics that came out recently, some of you may have forgotten early rumors that she’d be on the mag’s cover rather than an inside feature story.

Well, I wrote about the rumors for another site a few weeks ago and the readers there haven’t forgotten. Instead, I’m still getting diatribe-esque comments, many of which have been taken down because they were a hot mess that violates site commenting policy. Honestly, I didn’t think I was saying anything everyone wasn’t already thinking when I wrote that the idea of Susan Boyle on the cover of high-fashion mag Harper’s Bazaar was insane.

I may not be popular for saying this, but I, for one, would rather see models on the covers of magazines. Let me explain.

Now that we’ve had a night to take it all in, us Frisky-folk are absolutely obsessed with Susan Boyle‘s Harper’s Bazaar photo shoot results! If you haven’t already, take a look-see at the photos…

• Susan Boyle gets glam in the September issue of Harper’s Bazaar. The singer comments on her fast rise to fame, but says she is not getting Botox and is fine with the way she looks – “short and plump.” [Us Weekly] – Thank you Susan for not giving into the superficial pressure of Hollywood! You rock.
• Dr. Bailey, aka Chandra Wilson, will soon be pulling a double shift – Bailey will appear at Seattle Grace on “Grey’s Anatomy” and head over to Oceanside Wellness in the new season of “Private Practice.” Chandra will also direct her first “Grey’s” episode this fall season. [Entertainment Weekly] – Girl knows how to multitask!
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is happy to be an outsider. At least that’s what she told People in an interview about her new “Melrose Place” character Ella, a girl “desperate for love.” Ashlee didn’t reveal too much, but spilled the show is packed with “jaw-dropping” moments. [People] – Hmm, I’m not sure how I feel about Ashlee playing a young teenager; she’s married and has a baby.

Grandma Lee, a contestant on last night’s episode of “America’s Got Talent,” doesn’t sing, dance, or do magic. She simply tells jokes—ones you wouldn’t expect a 75-year-old grandmother to tell. I thought the show was setting her up to bomb, but she really was kind of funny and had great delivery. I didn’t expect sweet and wrinkled Grandma Lee to talk about her daughter losing her virginity. The judges sent her to Vegas to compete some more, and I’ll be curious to hear her next stand-up routine. If singers are more your thing, you should also check out Barbara Padilla’s performance. She’s actually a diva in the real meaning of the word.

Susan Boyle is one reality TV contestant who let fame go to her head. And by that, I mean she had a breakdown as a result of the celebrity that was thrust upon her after appearing on “Britain’s Got Talent.” But she’s not alone. Paula Goodspeed committed suicide outside “American Idol” judge Paula Abdul’s home after being teased about her weak tryout. Then there’s CT from “Real World/Road Rules Challenges: The Duel 2,” who would have killed Adam in a couple fights if producers and cast members hadn’t intervened.

It’ll cost you a whole lot to get Susan Boyle to sing a little ditty at your next party. The “Britain’s Got Talent” star is charging $203K for a 12-minute set—if you do the math, that comes out to about $16,000 per minute. This is the most preposterous thing I’ve heard in days, but corporate clients are actually booking her. Since the idea of someone actually spending $16K for 60 seconds of Susan Boyle makes me want to dry heave, I’ve compiled some items with $16,000 price tags that are actually worth the money and will last longer than a minute. (Plus, listening to your “Cats” soundtrack is totes free!) [News From All Angles]

• After being thrust into the limelight, Susan Boyle has experienced a tumultuous seven weeks. But even as she sits in a mental institution, she claims she has no regrets. [CNN]—The lady can sing, but we’re afraid she’s not quite built for fame.
• Kate Gosselin wasn’t born with her infamous streak hairdo. Check out what she looked like before the oversized fam and publicity. [Pop Eater]

The are two ways celebrities who need a little attention can guarantee publicity. Actually, scratch that, there are many ways celebs can get publicity, including sex tapes, pregnancy rumors, dramatic break-ups, and quickie marriages. But the two strategies that seem to be the most popular lately are the always-successful yo-yo dieting blitz, as perfected by Oprah, Jessica Simpson, Kirstie Alley, and Mariah Carey, and bad-mouthing another celeb on twitter or one’s personal blog.

She’s baaaaack! Susan Boyle returned to the “Britain’s Got Talent” stage on Sunday to perform in the semi-finals. She chose to sing “Memory,” from the musical Cats—so what do you think? Was Susan’s latest everything the hype made her out to be?

Susan Boyle hasn’t even won “Britain’s Got Talent,” yet she’s already sealed her place in pop-culture history with a tiny doll created in her likeness. Created by 46-year-old Debbie Ritter from Illinois, who says she’s watched Boyle’s YouTube video “literally one thousand times,” the dolls are made from clothes pegs, wire, and clay. Ritter painstakingly hand paints each four-inch doll and assembles miniature dowdy church-lady outfits for which Susan Boyle is so well known. Of making the dolls, Ritter says: “It’s a lot of work and each doll takes at least a couple of hours. It’s more of a hobby than a job for me but I sell them to collectors too.” The dolls sell for about $21 at Ritter’s Etsy shop. You could also buy a Paul Potts doll from Ritter for $22 and then make Susan and Paul make out. If you’re sick like that. [Telegraph]

Susan Boyle gets a surprise delivery of Irn Bru, a carbonated soft drink. She was leaving her house when the Irn Bru truck was passing her home. The driver screeched to a stop to give Boyle a hug and a free bottle. [UK, 4/30/09]

Ever since the video of Susan Boyle singing “I’ve Dreamed A Dream” hopped onto the internet, the world has been talking about her awe-inspiring performance on “Britain’s Got Talent.” This 47-year-old, unmarried, frumpy cat-owner shocked the show’s judges, the studio audience, and YouTube viewers by looking like one thing and sounding like another.

Over the past week or so, people on both sides of the debate have spoken about whether they thought Susan should change her look, and bloggers monitored every little change in her appearance, down to the pruning of her eyebrows. Now, a New York Times article says that snap judgments, like the one we made based on Susan’s looks, are only natural.

Scottish songstress Susan Boyle needs a makeover, but L.A.-based Kick Ass Films doesn’t care. The company offered Boyle $1 million to lose her V-card on camera. [NY Daily News] — But this isn’t the first time a tabloid fave has been offered cash to get down and dirty.