When I first learned about Katie Holmes divorcing Tom Cruise, I wasn’t particularly upset or curious about what I was going to eventually learn about Scientology should Katie ever talk. Instead, the only thought on my mind was what the Tumblr “Suri’s Burn Book” would have to say about the news. As you can see from above, I was not disappointed. But the best part of Suri’s Burn Book? No celebrity children are off limits. See a few of our favorite posts from the blog after the jump, and check out all 47 pages of hilarity at the link. [Suri's Burn Book].
Tag Archives: suri cruise
After watching Tom Cruise jump around on Oprah’s sofa like a complete dumbass, I think we all (well, some of us) knew his overly excessive enthusiasm for “falling in love” with Katie Holmes was a total hoax. While watching the video again of Cruise violently shaking a nervously laughing Oprah, it was obvious to many that Cruise’s firm and forceful grip on Holmes would not take hold for long. Plenty of rumors are flying about the TomKat divorce, announced this Friday — these entertaining hearsays could have you jumping on your couch, too! Keep reading »
Move over young Hollywood — these mini fashionistas are taking over as the new trendsetters in Tinseltown!
We’ve gathered the most fashion forward kids, from Suri Cruise to Kingston Rossdale, to Honor Warren. Read below and look through our trendsetters gallery for the top 10 best dressed celebrity kids in Hollywood. Read more and see photos…
Suri Cruise–Hollywood’s best dressed little bundle of energy–bounded into her NYC hotel earlier this week, appearing to defy gravity in the process. I’m mostly amazed at how much Suri continues to resemble her mom, Katie Holmes. Mini-Me status! [Fame/Flynet]
Quickies: Suri Cruise Has Better Shoes Than You Do & Kanye West’s Decapitated “Monster” Model Speaks
- In addition to these cutie-patootie galoshes, Star magazine claims Suri Cruise, age four, has a pair of mini Louboutin heels and several pairs of Marc Jacobs shoes. Let that sink in for a sec. [DListed]
- Sean Penn allegedly told Scarlett Johansson she better go back to college, take a political science course, and better educate herself if she’s going to speak out about politics. That’s so douchey! I’ve never heard ScarJo say anything dumb about politics. She reportedly got dumped by him, but I’d be willing to bet it was the other way around. [Celebitchy]
- Kanye West may have defiled the maidenhood of an Olsen twin. Rumor has it he was seen canoodling Mary-Kate Olsen, who is the “bad” one. This would be the weirdest couple ever. [Stuff NZ]
- “The Undefeated,” a pro-Sarah Palin documentary, is getting a nationwide release. But first it has some salty language in it that needs to be cleaned up first. What would a hockey mom say? [NYMag.com]
So, everybody knows that walking in heels in sand is virtually impossible. So why in the heck would both Katie Holmes and her little girl Suri Cruise wear heels to play around in the sand? The pair were spotted all dolled up at a Memorial Day beach party in Malibu. Ladies, ladies, ladies! Sensible flip-flops please! You’re making my calves hurt just looking at ya! Keep reading »
When I was five years old, I used to play with a little girl named Megan who lived across the street from my grandmother. One day, we were at Megan’s house playing with Barbie and Ken and I had a confusing realization. Grabbing the Ken doll, I asked Megan’s mom, “Why doesn’t Ken have a penis?” pointing out his vaguely bulging crotch. Megan’s mom immediately sent me home and told me to never come back. Apparently, “penis” was a dirty word in Megan’s house. (Ironically, there were other dirty things in Megan’s house, as she gave me lice.)
Katie Holmes kind of reminds me of Megan’s mom. Remember that photo of Suri Cruise holding a bag of penis gummies? (It’s, duh, above.) Well, Katie addressed the “controversy” on “Ellen” yesterday, although she couldn’t bring herself to actually say the word. Penis, I mean. Read on! Keep reading »
“The other day we came out of a store, and she said, ‘I want to go there,’ pointing at another store quite a distance away. In that store was the dress that she wanted. I said, ‘Wow, Suri. You’re something. You picked that out from a football field away.’”
Seriously, what do Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ have against covering this child’s bare limbs? It’s straight-up freezing in New York City right now and I don’t leave my apartment without a sweater, a heavy coat, a scarf, and ear muffs. Meanwhile, Suri looks like she’s dressed for a balmy summer day in Miami. Get this child some pants and a jacket before she catches hypothermia! Keep reading »