Random rant: why do celebs make such a big deal about announcing “retirement” only to un-retire months later? Publicity stunt? A heated “eff-you” move that reverses itself once they cool down?

Supermodel Gemma Ward, 22 (ahem), marks the latest in comebacks—or something to that effect. Her agency recently announced Ward’s official retirement after everyone started to realize that she’d been missing from the mags and catwalks of late. The rumored reason for the young model’s departure? A desire to escape the industry’s pressure of body issues. (Noble cause.) It looks like this announcement wasn’t even a PR screw-up, but possibly just a vocabulary issue. Gemma herself posted on her Twitter page: “I’m content with my decision, but I have said nothing will be permanent.” OK, seriously? You make the “decision” to retire ... you know that’s supposed to be permanent? Then this week she told an Australian newspaper that she hasn’t quit the business.

Does everything have to be so black and white with A-listers? Why not just say you’re taking some time off? What’s that? Oh, so you say there’s big money in a comeback ... Aha! [Stylelist.com]

This just in: Supermodel Gemma Ward’s agent has officially announced that the Australian catwalk queen has retired from the fashion industry! if you’ve noticed, there hasn’t been much of Gemma lately; she’s been absent from magazine covers and, more notably, the past few runway seasons. The reason for her departure? She wasn’t as into modeling “following the death of Heath Ledger, to whom she was romantically tied.” So, yeah, now she’s headed for retirement, at the ripe old age of 22. (Twenty-two!) But word on the web is that her life away from the catwalk is really making a healthy difference. “She was photographed last week in New York wearing a print jacket, shorts and biker boots and looking more like a healthy young woman and less like an emaciated wraith.” (Jeez, harsh much?)

While, I could go on for paragraphs about how frickin’ jealous I am that she can even afford (both financially and career-wise) to give it all up, it’s more fun (and less woe-is-me-sad-sack) to play the what-will-she-do-next game! My very strategic guesses, after the jump.

Linda Evangelista, seen here in W‘s latest issue, could use some deodorant. You think that clothing sample got returned? [W]

It’s times like these I wish I paid attention in Hebrew school. I have no idea what the Hebrew lettering says, but my guess is, “Leo DiCaprio wants to rub his GF in your face” or “This is why I’m hot.” Either way, it’s kind of a mystery what this ad is for. Supposedly, Bar Refaeli is promoting an Israeli art exhibition, but from the looks of it, she’s promoting erections. [Huffington Post]

Word out of the Paris police department is ‘90s supermodel Karen Mulder was arrested for “threatening to attack her plastic surgeon.” Oui, really. Apparently Karen took prank-calling to a whole new level and started making “vicious” phone calls to her doctor about, apparently, having a previous surgery reversed. (Above, Mulder last year and also in 2005.) The one time Sports Illustrated and Victoria’s Secret model is no stranger to odd, unsettling and downright dangerous (to herself) behavior—she once claimed that she had been raped by Prince Albert of Monaco, she’s suffered from chronic depression and drug addiction, and at one point attempted suicide with sleeping pills, only to be saved by friends. All very sad. Help for her, please! [Daily Mail U.K.]

Watch your little, genetically perfect back, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt: Gisele Bundchen is pregnant and due to give birth next year, sources tell People magazine.

Reps for Bundchen refuse to comment, though.

Tongues have wagged for awhile over what looked like a baby bump. Will Tom Brady and Gisele confirm, or keep us guessing?

Oh no they didn’t! Karolina Kurkova, the Victoria’s Secret supermodel that Elle recently posted about in the forums, has been called fat by the Brazilian press. The smack talk started after a show in Sao Paulo, where Kurkova walked the runway with more meat on her bones than usual. And gasp, she has cellulite on her booty. Um, good for her! And for the record, we think she looks sexier than ever. [Fox News]

The supermodel and her boyfriend (Interpol’s hot lead singer) enjoy the lovely evening Spring temps. [New York City, 6/11/08]