I texted him as soon as I woke up.
“What do you want me to wear today?”
I brushed my teeth and washed my face while I waited for him to text me back.
“White button-down shirt. Tuck it in. Your jeans. Flats. Put your hair in a ponytail. Send me a photo.”
I dressed as instructed, then stood before the wall-length mirror in my apartment’s hallway. Smiling into the mirror, I snapped a photo on my iPhone and sent it to Ben*.
Thirty seconds later, a text message: “Very nice.” Then I knew I could leave for work.
Ben was not abusive. I was not being hurt, nor was I unhappy. We were in a dominant/submissive relationship — or playing at one, anyway — and following his orders got me unbelievably, unbelievably turned on. Keep reading »
I’ve never been afraid to ask for what I want in bed. I guess because during my teenage years I figured out I was/am a perv and I just owned it. But in my decade-plus of hooking up with dudes, I’ve come to see being clear about what I want is a bit rare: Guys have told me other women become self-conscious when asking for something risqué or kinky.
So, I’m going to help you out, boys. Here are some things your lady might want, but she’s too self-conscious to ask for. Don’t pressure anything, of course — but if you offer, you may be pleasantly surprised at how enthusiastically she accepts … Keep reading »
Imagine a woman: She has a college degree and a job, she pays for her own house and car, and she’s not intimidated by any man for any reason. She’s smart, independent and strong.
Isn’t it a puzzle, then, that she has sexual fantasies of being dominated?
Actually, researchers say, it makes perfect sense. Keep reading »
I haven’t met many men that like to be dominated on a regular basis, but most gals I know like to take charge in the bedroom, at least from time to time. Aside from obvious dominate/submissive relationships, how do regular ol’ Joes feel about women taking charge between the sheets, both is subtle ways — directing the positions and the pace — and with more obvious methods — spanking, restraints, etc.? I went to the guys on my IM to find out how they feel about being dominated. Keep reading »
So, one of the gossip items making the rounds today is that Jake Gyllenhaal has to live by all sorts of CUH-RAZY rules now that he is living with Reese Witherspoon and her kids. Stuff like not putting his feet on the coffee table and being openly communicative all the time. The jist of the story is that Reese is, like, a mega-dominant partner and Jake’s got to be submissive — and that he likes it that way. But it got me thinking about the dudes on my IM and whether they play the role of dominant or submissive in their relationships — in and out of the bedroom. Their responses and a tangent about gender roles, after the jump… Keep reading »