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Women Have Bangs & Other Things The New York Times Can Tell Us

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Not sure if you saw this, but according to The New York Times, the totally on-top-of-it purveyors of the latest and coolest fashion and style trends, there’s a new hairstyle that’s been making waves. It’s called bangs. Have you heard of them? They sweep across your forehead and can cover between a third and one-half of your ugly face! They’re so handy and versatile, but also so fraught!

As darling Stephanie Rosenbloom cautions in her 1,000 word missive on the subject:

“Superthick bangs look great, and everyone wants them right now,” said the stylist Alan Tosler, a founder of the Tosler Davis salon in New York. “But if you have a cowlick in your hairline, they will not work. Or if you’ve got a superlow hairline.”

Or, if you are a monkey or some other kind of simian, and your entire body is covered in hair. Then bangs will absolutely not work. Keep reading »

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