The condom broke or –shame on you! — you didn’t use a condom and something is itchy/burning/funky down there. We’re not judging you. What’s done is done. There’s no use in freaking yourself out to the point of a nervous breakdown. There’s no to spend hours on the web Googling “red bumps” and “discharge.” Don’t fall down the self-diagnosis wormhole. It’s a scary place to be. The best case scenario? It’s nothing serious. We’re definitely not doctors and we highly recommend you see your gynecologist or go to the local clinic right away if you think you might have a sexually transmitted infection. But in the interim, we urge you not to panic. Here are a few other things that might be going on down there (from real women who have experienced them all): Keep reading »
I’m about one more “and then he came inside me” away from blowing my brains out.
I’m a sex enthusiast, perhaps even a connoisseur on the matter. I peruse publications about sex, participate in deep conversations on the act, and occasionally even engage in the monstrous business. But for fuck’s sake, if I have to read another article about unprotected sex, I’m going to jump off a bridge.
This all started a few years ago when I was reading Vice magazine, specifically the section “People Who Just Had Sex With Each Other.” It’s a column in which an interviewer talks to a couple who just had sex and asks them intimate questions about that particular love-making session. This one painfully hip couple were giving an account of their intimate nudie-sesh. They talked about the foreplay: touching each other’s business, licking each other’s things, fingering each other’s hoo-has. All normal stuff. Then the girl talks about how the guy came inside of her because she was on her period. They had just met the previous week, yet were already at the stage where they could, not only have period sex, but have unprotected period sex. Imagine taking the red ski lift into cream-village with a complete stranger like it’s not even a big deal. I just remember sitting back in my chair and thinking about all the new STD’s that could be swimming inside of their hipster bods. Keep reading »
That potentially deadlier than AIDS sex superbug that you were up all night worrying about was so not worth losing any sleep over. Well, at least not this week. According to Dr. Kimberly Workowski, a professor of infectious disease, “The sky is not falling — yet.” Don’t worry, you fatalists, the sky will fall eventually, but our current state of panic over the superbug is all a big mixup, according to NBC News. Keep reading »
Abortion foes in the Arkansas State Senate passed a bill yesterday to ban certain funding grants to Planned Parenthood. The chosen grants heading to the chopping block? Sex education. Which sucks, because Planned Parenthood provided the state’s sex ed.
According to Think Progress, Arkansas lacks a codified set of sex education requirements, which is why Planned Parenthood stepped in to do HIV/AIDS and STD/STI education in the state. A Republican health education teacher, and assistant football coach, Darrell Seward, told the Huffington Post over the phone:
“I would challenge any legislator or politician in the state of Arkansas or higher to set foot in my classroom and listen to the curriculum and walk out and say it’s a bad program. This program has been one of the most well-received programs that our students have ever been engaged in. I am a Republican, but this is one issue I feel very strongly about, because I see the benefit for our kids.”
So why take away these funds? Well because the bill’s sponsor doesn’t like any state funding to go to any organization that has anything to do with abortion or abortion referrals. Keep reading »
This handy Sex Degrees of Separation calculator will provide you with an estimate of how many indirect sexual partners you’ve had. Just in case you’re not already terrified enough of STIs, this should help. I don’t need any help with that, but thanks anyway. I saw “Kids” in 1995. This is a moment when it would come in handy to have a detailed sex list. Calculate at your own risk. [Lloyd's Pharmacy]
A New York City woman is suing a “major Republican fundraiser” after he gave her herpes. What a catch! Not only did he give big bucks to Mitt Romney, but he refused to wear a condom or inform her he had an STD. The New York Daily News reports they dated for two years until she found out that he was allegedly cheating on her and knew that he had contracted the STD. Now this poor woman has herpes for the rest of her life. Keep reading »
Just in time to shit on holiday hookup season, The Sun has a feature about the young, hot and hip, dressed in their Christmas best, who have a “dark secret.” “Although they look fresh and fabulous, each one of them [has had] a sexually transmitted infection,” the piece warns.
Womp womp. Just in case you were considering using the holiday season as an excuse to have a quick and dirty hookup, FORGET IT. As if the festivity of the Yuletide could make one forget that there were 427,000 new STI diagnosis in the UK last year. Not a chance, but thank you kindly for the reminder.
As long as you are an adult, which I’m presuming you are, you don’t need a reminder to use protection year-round. (Do you?) STIs are the least of your worries when it comes to hooking up this holiday season. After the jump, the actual reasons you might want to abstain from getting frisky at your next holiday party. Keep reading »
It happened in Florida. A toddler sucked on a used condom on a playground and may have gonorrhea, or even HIV, because of it. I’m not even going to make a Florida joke right now because this story is so thoroughly disturbing.
Teisha Sanders has filed a lawsuit against the Jacksonville Urban League, which runs her three-year-old daughter’s Head Start daycare program. Sanders claims that her daughter found a used condom on the daycare’s playground and sucked on it.
“I lift up my head and I saw her put something in her mouth and I was like, ‘get that out of your mouth!’ And someone said see what she had in her mouth and that’s when I found out she had a condom in her mouth,” explained Sanders. Keep reading »
“I was lonely. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. So, what did I do? I did it. Guess I learned the hard way that crabs do not discriminate but cross over all socioeconomic strata. He must have had quite the active life. What a way to put the kibosh on a relationship.”
—We suspected that Florence Henderson, aka Carol Brady, led quite the swinging life in the ’60s and ’70s when we found out about her shenanigans with Barry Williams, aka Greg Brady. But in her new memoir, Life Is Not A Stage, Florence reveals that she once had a one-night stand with New York mayor John Lindsay, even though she was married at the time. And, uh, brought home a little souvenir. Eek! [Huffington Post] Keep reading »