Phil Robertson of “Duck Dynasty” paid a visit to Family Research Council president Tony Perkins’ radio show yesterday to promote his new book — and to let us know he believes that STIs are God’s punishment for homosexuality and promiscuity. Seriously. I guess he was worried that we’d forgotten about his previous homophobic remarks and felt the need to stir the pot a little more. Robertson believes that political correctness and ”cultural bullies” have destroyed the country. He told Perkins:
“I’ve asked a lot of people, ‘Do you think its a coincidence that all of these debilitating, and — literally that can cause death — diseases follow that kind of conduct.’ God says, one woman, one man and everybody says ‘oh that’s old hat’ … But I’m thinking, well let’s see now. A clean guy — a disease-free guy and a disease-free woman — they marry and they keep their sex between the two of them. They’re not going to get chlamydia, and gonorrhea, and syphilis, and AIDS. It’s safe. Now to me, either it’s the wildest coincidence ever that horrible diseases follow immoral conduct or it’s God saying that there’s a penalty for that kind of conduct.”
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I am convinced my vagina should have the next lead role on “Game of Thrones,” because recently, it has done nothing but plot sadistic revenge and royally fuck me. Like many women have experienced, I woke up one day with some weird itching and burning in the land down under and knew that it was the beginning of the dreaded yeast infection. Before I high-tailed my ass to the doctor, I opted to try a three-day over-the-counter, injectable cream that made me feel like I was a toddler walking around with a load in my diaper, and since then, it’s been one problem after the next (all for which I’ve consulted professionals).
But through my struggles, I’ve found solace in the fact that my OB-GYN confirmed “these are common problems,” and “these things happen to everyone.” Every day, women everywhere are betrayed by their vaginas with “normal,” pain-in-the-ass issues that interrupt our sex lives, social lives, and just our ease of existence in general. YOU try discreetly walking up subway stairs with a vile’s worth of white, foamy cream slowly leaking into your panties. Here are seven common vag problems that, in my opinion, deserve their own support groups and pocket manuals. Keep reading »
Earlier this week, teachers on Reddit revealed some of the craziest misconceptions students have about sex. We can’t blame them for thinking that Skittles are a perfectly acceptable form of birth control, we can only blame the adults who’ve left them woefully uniformed.
Well, according to a new survey, they’re not gonna find much reliable information from adults either. An email poll conducted by Vouchercloud.net to find out how knowledgable Americans are about tech-related terms discovered that, sadly, 11 percent of the more than 2,000 participants thought that HTML (the code used to build websites) was a sexually transmitted infection. That’s about one in ten Americans who thinks you can contract HTML from unprotected sex. Keep reading »
“I have to introduce you to my cousin Logan*,” my childhood friend told me emphatically one weekend when I was home from college. “He’s really good looking—if he were taller he could be a model.”
“… OK,” I answered with trepidation. I was 19, and my freshman year of college at a small, cloistered university in the middle of the Bible Belt was not going well. My stomach turned to knots. I was trying so hard to fit in without fitting in that it was driving me crazy. For some reason it felt like if I got involved with a guy it would fix things. Logan was 24 and seemed nice enough.
The problem was, I was a virgin when we met, and at 19 I was among the last of my friends. Virtually inexperienced, I felt it was time to get it over with. In hindsight I should’ve listened to my gut. Keep reading »
If you have sex with 20 people, you will get genital warts. At least, that is how I framed it to my friends. My pillows had seen more than a few DIY haircuts when I saw something downtown, too: bumps. I knew it was an STI. Genital warts, to be honest, but I wasn’t ready to be. Maybe it’s razor burn? I thought, instead of facing facts. Or just ingrown hairs? Maybe if I grew out a ‘70s bush it will go away?
Yeah, it didn’t. Keep reading »
There are few moments in life more heart-stopping than realizing that there is something not right in your panties. A close second are the frantic Google searches you conduct with one shaking hand while aiming a mirror at your crotch with the other.
I was on the toilet when I first felt the strange patches of raised skin. Because they weren’t painful, the alarm took a moment to register. But when I got a closer look at the disturbance — bumpy white growths around the opening of my vagina — I immediately began to cry.
They’re called genital warts because that’s what they look like. I held out hope that I had some kind of simple, unshameful infection that could be cleared up with antibiotics until my gynecologist uttered the phrase. If I hadn’t already felt like retching, that truly disgusting combination of words probably would have done it. Keep reading »