I met the most amazing man four months ago. We recently started to date, and I realized there was no doubt in my mind he is the one. Last night I opened up to him as things got steamy, and he went for a condom. I told him my ex gave me herpes, and we should never have sex without a condom. He froze, put his shirt back on, and told me to leave. I have never been more devastated. I was apprehensive about telling him, but my friends and family assured me that if he cared about me like he really said, he would work around it. I truly love this man and would totally understand if he stopped talking to me completely. All I care about is his happiness and safety. But this whole ordeal has made me think that I will have to settle for someone who will have to settle with me and my disease. Like the true love I feel for this man will never be mine completely or will be ignored because of this horrible infection I have. My self-worth has diminished to nothing, and I fear I will never be able to love or be loved. Please ... help. —The Love Struck Statistic

Of all the crazy schemes men use to get laid, this one has got to rank at the most vile. That’s both saying a lot and putting this catastrophe mildly.

According to a report at The Huffington Post, a 35-year-old HIV-positive man in New Zealand injected his sleeping HIV-negative wife with the virus so she’d pony up and have sex with him.

Going to the gynecologist is never a pleasant experience, but most responsible women suck it up at least once a year to have an annual pap smear. The new pap smear recommendations say women should delay getting their first test until they’re 21, regardless of whether they’re sexually active. But for some women, the pap and fear of developing cervical cancer were the only reasons they went to the doctor in the first place, and once they were in the stirrups, their doctor could examine them for signs of STDs. The new pap guidelines mean a whole generation, mainly teens, will be unlikely to get tested for STDs and STIs as they begin having sex. Black teens are especially at risk; find out why after the jump.

Some exciting news in the medical world: a new HIV vaccine, called RV 144, has proved effective in reducing infection rates of the sexually transmitted disease by 31 percent. A combination of two previously tested vaccines, the formula was administered to some 16,000 people in Thailand as part of a three-year research program. Half the participants received a placebo, 74 percent of whom became infected with HIV. Comparatively, only 51 percent of the vaccinated group became infected. (Side note: Wow, still ... those are some pretty scary odds.) Interestingly, the American military played a role in the program because HIV poses a “national security threat.”

Rates of syphilis in Forsyth, NC have tripled in one year, so health officials there have come up with a novel idea to entice people to get tested. Folks who undergo testing are awarded with a $10 gift card to either Walmart or McDonald’s. Now, I know people need some kind of incentive to get tested, but can’t we think of a better idea than trading syphilis for diabetes, heart disease, and high cholesterol? The Walmart card could be beneficial, but I wonder how the corporation feels about being used to lure potential syphilis sufferers. At least the gift card provides a silver lining if a person tests positive. [F-Listed]

In 1993 a Harvard study looked at a random sample of more than 400,000 couples in which both members were between 67 and 99 years old. Nine years later, researchers checked back in with the couples to find that 21 percent of the men and 43 percent of the women had lost their spouses—and a small portion of these newly single seniors had been diagnosed with an STD.

The women who had lost their husbands weren’t found to be at a significantly higher risk for STDs after their partners died, but the widowers had a 16 percent higher risk of being infected during the six months to a year after their wives died. What did they do, start picking up women at the cemetery when they paid visits to their dead wives’ graves? The men certainly took advantage of their newfound freedom—or, perhaps getting busy was simply their way of dealing with grief. [Newswise]

Das Commitee, an advertising agency in Hamburg, Germany, has just unveiled their ads for World AIDS Day, which happens on Dec. 1. The three-part series features photos of Hitler, Stalin, and Saddam Hussein gettin’ busy with models next to the slogan “AIDS Is A Mass Murderer.” Yikes. I know it’s for a good cause, but really, I never ever wanted to see history’s most horrible dictators doin’ it. See the full NSFW (thanks to some bare man butt and some heavy breathing) video here—it truly fits the definition of “viral.” [WOW Report]

Possibly ruining my appreciation for the noble Swedes and their fine IKEA meatballs, a recent study has found that Swedish men with STDs think their infection is an affirmation of their manliness.

University of Skovde researcher Kina Hammarlund interviewed an unknown group of 16- to 30-year-old men and women for her dissertation and discovered it was only male participants who put on rose-colored glasses, seeing STDs like genital warts or gonorrhea as a rite of passage to manhood. It’s a telling statement about sexuality that men viewed STDs as something positive about their manhood, while women didn’t think it said anything about their womanhood. STDs could imply, even erroneously, that a guy is kind of a stud. But it’s hard to believe anyone would be proud of an STD. Could this study be bulls**t? [The Local via Feministing]

A tough-ass koala that survived predators, life in the wild, and even the terrible brush fires that devastated 2,000 homes and killed hundreds of Australians, couldn’t beat chlamydia. Samantha, the four-year-old eucalyptus-loving koala, sadly passed away today from the STD. After surviving the traumatic blaze, Sam became a symbol of hope for the country that suffered so much loss when a firefighter rescued her burned body live on television.

Half of Washington, D.C.‘s cases of chlamydia and gonorrhea are among adolescents, so it’s a good thing the city has expanded a pilot program that offers free STD testing to high school students.

Last year, when the program launched with STD testing offered in eight schools, about 3,000 students participated and 13 percent of them tested positive for an STD, mostly gonorrhea or chlamydia. This year, all high school students will have the opportunity to participate in the program. They will attend a lecture and Q&A session about STDs. Then 15 to 20 of them at a time will be given paper bags containing urine collection cups and will be sent into bathroom stalls. Once students are in the stalls, they will decide whether or not they want to provide a urine sample. They’ll then return the paper bags with the container inside, either filled or not, so others won’t know whether they’ve given a sample. Students will then be given a password to use when they call in a week later to find out the tests’ results and receive treatment, if necessary.

Want a new iPod? Or a Wii? Or a Fujitsu laptop? Get tested for STDs! In a new attempt to get England’s sexually rampant youth out of the bedroom and into a clinic, Britain’s National Health Service is entering folks who get tested in raffles for expensive high-tech toys and even weekend getaways. Why? Because there’s been a serious chlamydia outbreak there lately, and the disease is now the number one STD in the country. The NHS is dipping into taxpayer’s money, practically bribing folks to get tested. [Daily Mail] 

At Port Chester High School in New York, officials have signed off on a new service that has lots of folks up in arms. They’ll now be offering free STD and pregnancy testing to any student who asks ... without parental consent or notification. While many people are squirming in their seats thinking about the moral and religious implications of this decision, I gotta say woo hoo! Here’s why.

A reader sent me an email and asked me if I would ever date someone with an incurable STD. She had recently been diagnosed with the HSV virus (that’s herpes, y’all), and wanted my answer to be honest and not “PC.” So here it is goes, my unvarnished, gut reaction to the question: No, I would not date someone with an incurable STD.

I was having dinner with some friends the other night, one of whom does HIV research. We started talking about STDs in general when another friend admitted she’s had herpes for about 10 years. She said she contracted it from the second guy she ever slept with and though she hasn’t had an outbreak in about 8 years, she always tells potential sex partners about it. I was surprised when she said that her gynecologist said that as long as she isn’t in the middle of an outbreak, there’s really no need to tell a sex partner—then I remembered this letter to advice columnist Jamie Bufalino in last week’s Time Out New York. A young woman writes:

“I’m a 23-year-old female, and just found out yesterday that I have contracted HPV/genital warts. I called the four people I’ve slept with in the past year to inform them, saving my current beau (he’s 28, BTW) for last. When I got on the phone with him (he lives in Boston, I’m in New York), I hardly had to say anything because he quickly responded: “Oh yeah, I have HPV too.” We’ve been dating for four months and he never bothered to mention that his last two girlfriends both magically contracted this virus after being with him. He apologized, said he felt terrible that he never told me, that he had planned to tell me soon, asked what he could do to make up for it, etc. I told him I never wanted to speak to him again. Now, the morning after, I wonder: Is getting an STD just part of being an adult? Or is passing a virus a deal breaker?”

Of course, sexual health educators should still teach everyone to protect themselves against HIV/AIDS. But researchers have created an interactive online “HIV/AIDS Atlas,” which shows how only one-fifth of America’s counties make up 80 percent of the cases. It’s sometimes hard to make public health topics “interesting” and “cool,” but a map does a good job of it!

Is it possible to c**k block safe sex? Yes, say public health advocates who are going after CVS for sometimes locking its condoms behind glass cases!

Advocates For Youth and CureCVS are rallying people based on the findings of a Change To Win study, which investigated CVS branches in five major metropolitan areas. They found condom lockage is three times more likely to occur in areas where minorities live—which obviously is discriminatory and needs to stop immediately.

An HPV vaccine for men is likely to be approved in the next year, but according to a recent study, men are fairly unlikely to get the shot, even if told it would help protect their female partners against cervical cancer. Sadly, we’re not surprised. Many men won’t sport a rubber to protect themselves and their ladies (yes I know I’m generalizing here), why would we expect them to get poked by a needle?

Remembering to take birth control pills every day at the same time can be a hassle. Buying condoms adds another thing to our pages-long to-do list. Wouldn’t it be nice if there were an effective birth control and STD-preventative in one? Dr. Brij Saxena, a reproductive biology and endocrinology professor at the Weill Cornell Medical College, has developed a vaginal ring that may prevent sexually transmitted HIV and unintended pregnancy because it releases several types of non-hormonal agents and microbicides. The device has proven to prevent HIV infection in laboratory trials, Saxena said, and it could give women the power to protect themselves effectively and conveniently from an unintended pregnancy and HIV, if future clinical trials are successful.

1. AIDS is caused by the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), and there is no cure. HIV weakens the body’s ability to fend off diseases and multiplies in lymph nodes. It destroys white blood cells and antibodies that make up the immune system. You can’t get it from hugging, dancing, high-fives, or sharing a can of soda. There are many myths about contracting AIDS and HIV. Women are at high risk and knowing your partner’s sexual history is one way to help keep you safe.

1. Syphilis is a mighty morphing STD that is hard to detect. Its symptoms don’t occur in a consistent order, but experts have narrowed them down to four stages. The primary stage is when a firm sore, called a chancre, appears around your lady parts. You can get one firm sore or many love bumps. They may dry out and heal, but you’re still stuck with the infection. The second stage includes on-and-off rash, fever, fatigue, aching, and sore throat. The third stage is the hidden stage, when symptoms don’t appear for years, as this STD attacks and progresses.
2. If left untreated, syphilis can damage your heart and brain in the final stages. The tertiary, or late syphilis, stage also attacks the eyes, blood vessels, liver, bones, and joints. Signs of late syphilis include paralysis, numbness, blindness, and even dementia. If you think you might have the Syph, you need to get treatment as soon as possible. Your chances of getting HIV increase if you have syphilis because chancres make it easier to pass on and acquire HIV.