[Said in the voice of a petulant teenager:] ”Thanks, Starbucks, for taking over my life EVEN MORE.”
The ‘bux announced last week that it’s making your fast food coffee experience even easier: you will soon be able to preorder your drinks and pay via an app, according to the tech blog Recode. Just like hailing a cab with Uber or ordering sushi over Seamless, coffee jerks can save time by paying for a coffee ahead of time and avoiding lines. The company is testing the process at an “undisclosed location” and will eventually bring it nationwide. I could see myself downloading the app, but use it only when I’m in a rush. (And I’m not that important to ever really be in a rush.) Part of what I like about Starbucks is it being a “third place” in addition to work and home. It’s a reason to get out of the office for a 10-minute break in the afternoon and stretch my legs. It’s about the short walk, the music, the socializing. The app sounds useful for, say, personal assistants in a rush to please their boss, but for me, I’m happy to take my time. Within reason, of course. [Recode]
Given all the stories we hear about women getting flack for breastfeeding in public, it’s so uplifting to hear about the experience of Julia Wykes, who was defended by a teenage Starbucks barista. Wykes stopped at the coffee shop while running errands with her five-month-old son; when he started to get cranky in line, she sat down to nurse him.
A fellow customer spotted this, and loudly bitched to the barista about Wykes. She asked the barista to stop her from breastfeeding because it was “disgusting.” The barista told the woman he’d take care of it and approached Wykes, but instead of confronting her, he offered her a voucher for a free drink and said, “I’m sorry you had to deal with such unpleasantness today,” prompting the bully to storm out of the shop. Keep reading »
Today in the annals of First-World feats: America has a new priciest-ever Starbucks drink. The customer behind the beverage, identified as Andrew, used his loyalty card to get a free Sexagintuple Vanilla Bean Mocha Frappuccino, a concoction made with 60 shots of espresso. Find out how much it cost on Newser…
It’s finally here! Iced coffee season! I don’t even care that the weather randomly went back to being 28 degrees for a few mornings this week; I’m not going back to hot coffee until at least October. As Patrick Henry once said, “Give me refreshingly chilled coffee, or give me death!” Want to brew up some iced coffee goodness at home and cut down on your monthly Starbucks bill? Click through for some awesome (and easy) recipes for homemade iced coffee…
Starbucks has managed to turn its brand into a grownup’s version of a toy store, selling everything the over-18 yuppie set loves best: caffeine, jazz-infused compilation CDs, an attitude of superiority, and now, as part of its valiant attempt to take over the world, alcohol. Keep reading »
The other day, my boyfriend Nick and I were in the middle of ordering our drinks at Starbucks when two or three different coffee timers started going off at at the same time behind the register. Our frazzled barista gasped, “Oh my gosh, just a second,” then sprinted back and forth between brewing machines, frantically trying to locate and reset the offending timers. Nick and I smiled sympathetically; we knew her plight all too well. “We both used to work at Starbucks,” I said, “so don’t worry, we understand!” When she had finally silenced the cacophony of urgent, high-pitched beeping, she leaned over the cash register and whispered, “When you worked here, did you ever hear that beeping … like … in your head?”
“YES,” we both answered immediately.
“It was like a ringing in my ears that never stopped,” said Nick.
“I had recurring nightmares about a coffee timer that had no reset button,” I said. “It just kept beeping for all eternity. I used to wake up in a cold sweat!”
You see, working at Starbucks, it changes you. Whether you love it or you hate it, you’re never quite the same after you don that famous green apron. The experience is equal parts educational, inspirational, and traumatizing, but one thing’s for sure: all Starbucks employees, past and present, share a very special bond. Here are a few surefire signs that you are one of us: Keep reading »
Is there any nation more obsessed with its morning coffee ritual than the United States? Once you admit to yourself that you’re a caffeine addict (you probably are), check out this map of American coffee chains so you know exactly who is profiting off your problem. Not surprisingly, Starbucks (the little green dots) have vomited all over the map, but that doesn’t mean it dominates every region. Dunkin Donuts and Tim Hortons take over a huge chunk of the country too. The map brings up a couple questions, though. West Coast, how are you surviving without the amazingness that is Dunkin Donuts? What on earth are Dutch Brothers and BLENZ? I’ve never heard of them. Are they better than Starbucks (I’m guessing yes)? Personally, Caribou Coffee is my favorite, though I’m not from Minnesota. For a closer look, you can see maps of individual companies here. [Gizmodo, Flowing Data]
Parody twitter feeds are one thing, but opening a parody business takes spoofing to a whole new level. A store called Dumb Starbucks opened this weekend in Los Angeles. Everything about the coffee shop is identical to a real Starbucks except the coffee is free and everything — including the menu and the CDs — has the word “dumb” in front of it. Although no one is taking credit for the “work of art parody,” a FAQ letter that hung inside Dumb Starbucks claimed that legally, the space is not coffee shop but an art gallery:
“The ‘coffee’ you’re buying is considered the art. But that’s for our lawyers to worry about. All you need to do is enjoy our delicious coffee!”
Keep reading »
Let’s all congratulate Seattle-based blogger Beautiful Existence (yes, that’s her legal name) for fulfilling her 2013 New Year’s Resolution. While most of us abandoned our goal to “eat less sweets” somewhere around the first week of February, Existence succeeded in her pursuit to eat nothing but Starbucks products for 365 days. When she had completed her challenge, the 40-year-old mother of two (don’t worry, her children were allowed to eat non-Starbucks) racked up more than a $4,000 bill, a wicked craving for anything fried and a blog to commemorate her Starbuckian year. Keep reading »